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27 February 2006

List Of Words Banned From Existence. Name yours. Phrases of 3 words or fewer also okay.→[More:]

Off the top of my head: 'hammer this out,' fuck-buddy/'friends with benefits,' 'that's hot,' 'inner child,' issue (used in lieu of 'problem,') 'just an FYI,' 'touch base,' MILF, me-time (and facetime and alone time,) 'fuck-me pumps,' 'a keeper,'... hell, I could do this forever.
post by: rebirtha at: 22:18 | 77 comments
....'my own space'/ 'some space' (as in 'I just need some space.') Agh! SPACE??! What you need is for the other person to leave you alone. Don't make it like if there was just more air around it would all be fine! Agh!!
posted by rebirtha 27 February | 22:21
whatever
posted by flaca 27 February | 22:27
invite instead of invitation. Gets my inner pedant roused to an illogical level of annoyance.
posted by nomis 27 February | 22:27
"dialed in," "bully pulpit," "uber" anything, "decidedly mixed bag."
posted by ipe 27 February | 22:28
Oh, and I forgot: "emails"
posted by ipe 27 February | 22:29
"very/quite unique"
posted by nomis 27 February | 22:29
ipe! My brother! Hot damn.
posted by rebirtha 27 February | 22:30
All of them.
posted by dg 27 February | 22:34
...
posted by nomis 27 February | 22:39
"I'm spiritual, not religious"
"self-esteem"
"partner" (if you're gay or lesbian call them your wife or husband, it just sounds better, trust me. Partners are for lawyers and cowboys)
posted by jonmc 27 February | 22:42
signage
posted by warbaby 27 February | 22:43
"Enter: [noun]" -- if you can't come up with a better seque than that, maybe you should rethink how you're writing.

"More than [adjective]" -- I bet you're actually just happy to do it, not "more than happy." Same goes for any other permutation.

"A perfect storm." Not everything is a perfect storm. Most things are an unfortunate confluence, at best. Quit inflating things.
posted by me3dia 27 February | 22:44
"step up to the plate"
"the reality of the situation is..."
"off the chain/hook"
posted by Meredith 27 February | 22:47
"partner"

Yes! I can't stand the term. Before the lovely mrs nomis and I were married, my mother used to refer to her as my "partner". I guess she thought "girlfriend" didn't sound serious enough. My future father-in-law, on the other hand, always referred to me as his "daughter's friend".
posted by nomis 27 February | 22:48
Oh, also: "at the end of the day"
posted by nomis 27 February | 22:50
Partners are for lawyers and cowboys


Heh. Cowboys, anyway.

And "irrelavent" and "Walmarts"/"Kmarts" bugs the hell out me of.
posted by YouCanCallMeAl 27 February | 22:51
Rich Content.
posted by King of Prontopia 27 February | 22:57
"Gifted" instead of "gave."
posted by StickyCarpet 27 February | 23:00
Proactive.
posted by AlexReynolds 27 February | 23:03
I, too, could do this all day. I frequently do. However, given that this is my first post, I'll offer only this:

jejune

posted by saf 27 February | 23:07
web 2.0
partner - I hate it when "liberal" str8 couples call their spouses "partner." As if this is some kind of relating to gay folks. If I could get married I wouldn't care but they can and using "partner" is just another indication of what i am not permitted to have (under the law) and what they have taken and co opted as theirs. Poo, jussssst Poo!

posted by jelly 27 February | 23:18
Yeah, "gifted" bugs the crap out of me. As do "price point" instead of price, "doable" instead of possible, "prosumer," "fully loaded," "monetize"... basically any stupid "hype" word.

"partner" (if you're gay or lesbian call them your wife or husband, it just sounds better, trust me. Partners are for lawyers and cowboys)
posted by jonmc 27 February | 22:42


Now, I do admit to using this. I'll call him my husband when I can actually marry him. I don't have imaginary friends, nor a "pretend" husband.

posted by BoringPostcards 27 February | 23:20
Egregious. This word has to be stopped before it kills again.
posted by iconomy 27 February | 23:20
Partner is wack, Potna is great. I suggest running buddy, co-pilot or road dog for everyone, however, gay or straight.

I would like to eliminate the word celebrity and all of its attendant malapropisms.
posted by Divine_Wino 27 February | 23:22
In Texas, it drives me up the flue when people say they're "fixin' to" do anything.
posted by WolfDaddy 27 February | 23:23
Our ED says "ongoingly" and switches between "priorize" and "prioritize".

And, I don't like orientate.
posted by richat 27 February | 23:25
Verbiage.

I went to a conference for work and every time they talked about a new policy, all the cute, perky "go-getters" (there's another one), kept saying things like "ok, can we get some verbiage on that?" Meaning, "what the fuck should we say? We're robots, please program us with some of your verbiage."

Corporate speak is ridiculous in general. Like how, if someone's a huge fuckup at their job, I'm supposed to "provide coaching", instead of "retrain their dumb ass."
posted by SassHat 27 February | 23:26
"I'm Rick James, bitch!"

On preview: "orientate" drives me up the fuckin' wall.
posted by thatweirdguy2 27 February | 23:27
In Texas, it drives me up the flue when people say they're "fixin' to" do anything.

I've always liked that* and when Irish people say "He's after" the same way. Since I spent the weekend with a group of certified bogmen, I got to hear it a bunch.




*Probably cause I ain't in tekas.
posted by Divine_Wino 27 February | 23:32
I find "fixin' to" useful. Then again, I like "might could", which just seethes with ambiguity, and commits you to absolutely nothing.

On the other hand, "my bad" makes me want to kill. Your bad what? Dumbasses.
posted by trondant 27 February | 23:35
m*gg*t
posted by moonbird 27 February | 23:53
paradigm shift. Whoever says that deserves to be exterminated together with all their close relatives.
posted by NucleophilicAttack 27 February | 23:59
Impactful. Really, an expensive consultant hired by my university used it yesterday. I stopped listening right there.

posted by LarryC 28 February | 00:07
What would you call a fuckbuddy/friend-with-benefits if not that? They're not your girlfriend/boyfriend. They're not strictly a friend. Or is it the nature of the relationship itself, more so than the word, that you object to?
posted by matildaben 28 February | 00:08
Seconded on "That's hot."

Also: "pro-family," "family values."
posted by sisterhavana 28 February | 00:21
humps, lumps, and junk in (someone's) trunk

boobies, unless referring to the blue-footed or red-footed variety (though I suppose I can deal with a 5 year old saying it)

DH DD, as in "Dear Husband" "Darling Husband" "Darling Daughter" and whatever the fuck else that a certain group of women seem to use online, and increasingly offline. It makes me nauseous.

gaijin, many do not realize the negative connotations of this word, and suggest that it is simply the usual shortening of "gaikokujin" like happens so often with words in Japanese... but the shortenings are generally foreign words, not native words; and the spoken "gaijin" can also mean a dangerous person, even if the written kanji is different... it's a hugely loaded word, and it is really annoying that many people happily refer to themselves as "gaijin" instead of the proper word "gaikokujin"... but then again, many "gaijin" are happy to play the role of foreign clown here anyway, but it has negative effects for the long term residents and naturalized immigrants...

I think "partner" is better than "husband" and "wife" ... there are so many connotations that go along with traditional spousal terms, that I don't really like, but I don't even want to begin to think about the Japanese terms... I never say "boss" to my husband, which is the norm here... and don't think he calls me "back of the house" either... We both have names already, so it doesn't make sense to refer to each other by some position or role.
posted by MightyNez 28 February | 00:31
Oh, also: "at the end of the day"

There's apparently an "at the end of the day" "epidemic" in Australia
posted by dhruva 28 February | 00:32
No, matildaben, it's the word. In the past, when I've had friends with whom I've also had sex, I've referred to them as friends, same as any other friend. If I needed to point out that I'd also had sex with them, I'd point it out.
posted by rebirtha 28 February | 00:33
Point being, I think, that not everything needs to be categorized in a term. Especially such a vacuous and flippant term.
posted by rebirtha 28 February | 00:42
I hate it when "liberal" str8 couples call their spouses "partner."

One of my main reasons for getting married was so I could start sentences with "my wife and I ..."

If you're reading this mrs nomis, please know that I am kidding
posted by nomis 28 February | 00:50
"Dun" in place of don't. One of those bits of webslang that just makes me want to tear my hair out when I read it.
posted by kosher_jenny 28 February | 01:37
George Orwell, Politics and the English Language

Always worth reading again.
posted by warbaby 28 February | 01:54
* "Bitches". I am so fucking sick of grown adults saying "what's up, bitches" or "damn, bitch" or "biyatch" or whatever other stupid variation they come up with. I hope you burn to death in a car fire.
posted by cmonkey 28 February | 02:54
I find partner an awkward & weak term (when used to denote a spouse or a lover) but I more dislike the phrase significant other: which strikes me as an odd & cold thing to say or write about a person one loves.
posted by misteraitch 28 February | 03:17
When I was a young, angry man the word "must" used to drive me to the very brink of actionable rage, particularly in the context of written tests and their instructions, public school and other institutions of stifling bureaucracy.

Seriously. I probably used to sit there and change colors like an extraordinarily pissed off chameleon, steaming away like a cute, malevolent little teapot.

Now it's more of a dull ache when I see it flogged and abused upon the sharp and pointy torture rack of bureaucratic instructions and forms. But you won't catch me willingly or consciously using it.


Ironically, between writing this and posting this, I managed to get sidetracked into one of those lame IQ tests. I haven't clicked on one of those in years. I can't even remember what got me to click on it and start answering questions in the first place.
posted by loquacious 28 February | 03:26
Regarding "partner", etc. No term worked for me before we were married... "partner" was too businesslike, "S.O." too cold, "Lover" too TMI, "Boyfriend" too silly. We referred to each other as husband and wife even before we were actually married, for the most part.

In Greek, it's pretty simple: "my woman" or "my man". That's it. No getting into legal status or gory details.
posted by taz 28 February | 03:48
Also, regarding the original question:

"pick your brain"

I hate it. Ick. Just leave my brain alone, thank you.
posted by taz 28 February | 03:51
for some reason the word "tofurkey" makes me break out in hives.

Also, the word "piece" used like this: "I'll take care of the marketing piece if you take care of the technical piece. Also I will not be in the office tomorrow because I have to attend to the family piece."

echoing warbaby, "signage." signage. even typing it seems really, really wrong.

so, i can task you with taking care of the signage piece?

excuse me, i have to swallow a cup of hemlock.
posted by capnsue 28 February | 04:33
'Outside the box'
'End of' (short for and worse than 'at the end of the day')
'Blog' (sounds like a cross between 'bog' and 'log', how crude! 'Weblog' is better).
posted by plep 28 February | 04:58
Aagh, tasking! You can ask me to do something, you can tell me to do it, you can even order me, but for the love of cake, you "task" me at the risk of bloodshed. Either yours or mine.

Also, any use of the word "team" in a business context is just begging for mayhem. There is no "marketing team"; rather, there are the bozos in marketing. (Those of you unfortunate enough to be in marketing, substitute the "team" of your choice.) I'm not on their team, for the simple reason that they are so very much not on mine.

Memo to anyone using either of these terms: Take that half-assed management course you attended and stick it straight up your corporate ass. There may not be an I in TEAM, but there sure as hell is a U in STUPID.
posted by bmarkey 28 February | 05:00
I hate it when "liberal" str8 couples call their spouses "partner." As if this is some kind of relating to gay folks. If I could get married I wouldn't care but they can and using "partner" is just another indication of what i am not permitted to have (under the law) and what they have taken and co opted as theirs. Poo, jussssst Poo!

Or, just maybe, it is the most appropriate term! What else do you say if you are together but not married? Saying "wife/husband" would be a lie. Since when did gays have a lock on that term anyway?

Blog, Weblog or any derivative thereof just sucks the big hairy one.
posted by dg 28 February | 05:36
There may not be an I in TEAM, but there sure as hell is a U in STUPID.
Now, that I will keep ;-)

*wonders if anyone knows his job is as a "team leader"*
posted by dg 28 February | 05:38
I, too, could do this all day. I frequently do. However, given that this is my first post, I'll offer only this:

jejune


I am now fired with courage to make my own first comment - agree with 'gifted' instead of 'gave' (which is beginning to be used here in the UK) and I too wonder what to call my boyfriend/SO/partner to others - 'boyfriend' sounds too frivolous and un-committed, SO is impenetrable and 'partner' too businesslike. Hm.

/waves to everyone, has been lurking for a while and likes you all a lot
posted by altolinguistic 28 February | 06:26
iPod.
blog.
Flickr.
meme.
"I hope you die/burn" - You can't mean that. And if you do, put your money where your mouth is, bitch.
posted by Eideteker 28 February | 07:39
Wow, two first posters in a single thread! Welcome, virgins!

I must be pretty tolerant because I can't think of any words or phrases off the top of my head that drive me batty. But I'm laid back like that.
posted by mike9322 28 February | 08:03
Since it's the Internet, I should specify I have no beef with cmonkey. Them's jokes, son.
posted by Eideteker 28 February | 08:37
Any variant of "I just spit [fluid] all over my keyboard"

I just threw up in my mouth a little

hawt
posted by Prospero 28 February | 09:13
Lean Six Sigma

Unfortunately, I'm knee-deep in it and it's so ingrained in the corporate culture here that I'm going to have to either escape or get used to it.
posted by tommasz 28 February | 09:15
Welcome, saf and altolinguistic.

I love how rageful you all are, and about such horrible, horrible words, bunnies mine!
posted by rebirtha 28 February | 09:52
Thanks for posting the Orwell, warbaby. Required reading.

And I'll repeat what I said in the corporate speak thread. I can't stand "is is" as a transitional phrase in a sentence.
posted by matildaben 28 February | 10:13
The young people say 'random' too much.
Also 'blagging'.

I agree with dg on Partner. It's useful.
posted by biffa 28 February | 11:28
I can't stand "Hugh" or "Janus," and I especially hate "Hugh Janus."
posted by Hugh Janus 28 February | 11:55
"heart" as a verb. I ♣ YOU.
posted by Eideteker 28 February | 11:58
I ♠ my cat.
posted by mike9322 28 February | 12:05
"hil-LAR-ious", esp. from any 20-something girls.
posted by amberglow 28 February | 13:14
And c*nt. My LEAST favorite word.
posted by sisterhavana 28 February | 13:25
LOL.

"Impactful"

"It's very unique", meaning "special". This one I inherited from my father, carrying on a proud family tradition. He used to foam at the mouth of the misuse of "unique".

"Orientate" has bugged me for years. It's "orient", fools, and I don't care if back formation is a common form of linguistic change.

Pretty much any form of corporate-speak. "Thinking outside the box". God. What the hell does that mean? And any and all usages of the phrase "politically correct", which is only used by people who don't have a clue what they are arguing about/for.
posted by jokeefe 28 February | 14:12
The word "beef" as a verb. Especially if you mean farted.


posted by SassHat 28 February | 14:12
webinar

nourish - men especially need to purge this from their vocabulary. Ugh. New age crap.
posted by small_ruminant 28 February | 14:17
How do people feel about instantiation? Whatever happened to instance? Argumentation rather than argument?
posted by Eideteker 28 February | 14:21
To speak "around" an issue, instead of "about" an issue.

To "leverage" a document, rather than copy and modify it.

K, tks, bye.
posted by sarah connor 28 February | 14:26
Nothing makes my teeth clench like "boughten." Buy already has a past tense! But no, "bought" is just not past tense enough.

"I boughten it here before." Ugh.

I've been hearing this one a lot, lately. It's not an accent thing, either.

posted by wimpdork 28 February | 14:36
wimpdork, is that a regional thing? I've never heard it but I kind of associate it with the South.
posted by matildaben 28 February | 14:40
It sounds like it would be southern, but it's not. Like I said, not an accent. Though it may be a California thing. I've only started noticing it recently.

The one that killed me was hearing it from a woman who gave every impression of being well-educated and well-spoken. Until she used boughten.
posted by wimpdork 28 February | 14:52
On-line

Learnings

Utilize
posted by tr33hggr 28 February | 15:01
Agh! 'Utilize' sets my teeth on edge, too. 'Use' is a perfectly good word. Use it.

Also on my List of Hate: maximize and synergy (especially when used together), and the dreaded 'It's all good.' When that phrase comes out, it's rarely all good. In my experience, it's usually mostly bad, and saying otherwise doesn't change that.

Longer than allowable perhaps, but also 'Tipping is not a city in China.' Well, while we're clearing up misapprehensions, Fuckoff is not a Russian dancer.
posted by elizard 28 February | 15:21
Any combination of "add" and "value".
posted by knave 28 February | 18:59
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