Jack Handey! "I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality."

Also: "If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."

I've always loved Mr. Handey's stuff, but I thought "This is No Game" was one of the most masterful humor pieces I have ever, ever read. I ripped it out of the NYer a month or so ago when it originally ran, and stuck it in the bathroom-reading pile. Every few days I read it again, and it strikes me just as funny each time. That's rare. It's excellent, and I thought people would enjoy it.

Oh, that totally made my morning.

So very, very funny. I loved it.

[I]f loving your wife, your country, your cats, your girlfriend, your girlfriend’s sister, and your girlfriend’s sister’s cat is “square,” then so be it.

Amen!

Do not taunt happy fun ball.