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31 January 2006

I worked six whole days in January. Please shoot me.
Shoot, I worked six whole years in January!
posted by Hugh Janus 31 January | 15:15
There were only two days in January I didn't work. Shoot me.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 31 January | 15:20
I feel like I've worked six whole days today. Gimme a shooter.
posted by jonmc 31 January | 15:20
I shot for six straight days! While I worked!
posted by greasy_skillet 31 January | 15:24
I did six whole shots!

*staggers, drools*
posted by jonmc 31 January | 15:27
I shot six holes in January. What day is it?
posted by chewatadistance 31 January | 15:28
January is six whole days long, because I live on Venus, please shoot me back to Earth where I can breathe the air.
posted by Divine_Wino 31 January | 15:30
That was a little weak Wino. You usually do better.
posted by richat 31 January | 15:36
There were only two days in January I didn't work. Shoot me.

Me too, ThePinkSuperhero, me too.
posted by gaspode 31 January | 15:39
Am I getting graded on a case by case basis now?

*slaps self* You can do it dewayne, bring stronger sack for richat!


posted by Divine_Wino 31 January | 15:40
No, not case by case, but it just seemed so contrived. I don't mean to seem ungrateful. I am still telling dogs that I don't have time to pet them. That was gold.
posted by richat 31 January | 15:43
I thought it was Mercury where january was that short. But then again merucry is also that silvery shit in thermometers, a naked dude with wings on his feet and a retired football player.
posted by jonmc 31 January | 15:44
Six has been working it every day in January.
posted by eamondaly 31 January | 15:48
I worked January 6 all day.
posted by joelf 31 January | 15:49
Hey, I worked four! Shoot me first!
posted by moonbird 31 January | 15:59
You try staying fresh when you live on another planet, richat. There is something that looks like a monkey fucking a metal octopus lurking outside my cave and I have a goddamn fishbowl on my head. Damn!
posted by Divine_Wino 31 January | 16:00
Where'd my chamber pot go to?

*looks at the Wino's head gear*

Oh, dear...
posted by jonmc 31 January | 16:02
*Death rays Jonmc, rides off on space dinosaur in a fit of astro-pique*
posted by Divine_Wino 31 January | 16:04
BANG BANG!!

you're dead
posted by Cryptical Envelopment 31 January | 16:11
And you're welcome!
posted by Cryptical Envelopment 31 January | 16:12
That sounds about how much I've worked in January. I'm on a stipend so it was overall, more positive than negative.
posted by porpoise 31 January | 16:14
in a fit of astro-pique

I ordered that stuff out of the back of Hustler once. Didn't know it could be used for transport.
posted by jonmc 31 January | 16:22
I have worked NO DAZE unless you count the time I spent riding my space dinosaur and designing posters for a $40 bar tab. AND - I managed to get fired today from a job I hadn't even started yet!
posted by mygothlaundry 31 January | 16:23
I'm still waiting for the very patient monkeys with a taste for bureaucracy to come work as my assistants.
posted by matildaben 31 January | 16:23
Mercury is also a line of bad cars, a dead rock star and Orson Welles' Theater Group. ("FROZEN PEAS!")

Now, what is this "work" thing you speak of?

(Don't Shoot! I'm only the Sudoku Player!)
posted by wendell 31 January | 16:27
I ordered that stuff out of the back of Hustler once.

You should have ordered the thing that was always advertised next to it, the gold plated digital watch that showed the time OR when you touched a button said "Don't worry about the mustache baby, I'm an all night clamdigger." In big red letters. Worked even more consistently than Mesopotamian sex etchings and colt .45.
posted by Divine_Wino 31 January | 16:30
Thanks everyone, this is the kind of sparkling wit I look forward to.

I love this place!
posted by richat 31 January | 16:31
sparkling wit

I ordered some of that out of the back of Wine Spectator the german edition. A bit busy, but never precocious.
posted by jonmc 31 January | 16:39
I'm in about the same boat. Freelance editing sucks, sometimes.

But hey, I worked on my first hollywood feature film for two of those days!
posted by shmegegge 31 January | 16:43
I've never done any freelance anything. This is mainly because I have no marketable skills. Unless there's a market for freelance insult comics.
posted by jonmc 31 January | 16:46
there is, but you have to spend your 40/week begging for time at the Gotham Comedy Club and the Boston Comedy Club and the Laugh Factory.
posted by shmegegge 31 January | 16:53
I dunno, you could spend 168/week begging and hurling comic insults at the passersby in Grand Central.
posted by Hugh Janus 31 January | 17:10
My management hates me, so they keep writing me up over my hours, because that's the only thing they can get me for. 44 isn't good enough. It has to be 45 a week.

But today, I went in, and I've never been more sick in my life, so they had to let me go home. Here are the symptoms: dizziness, nausea, gas, sore throat, runny nose, watery eyes, cold sweats, and a likelihood to barf at some point tonight.

My girlfriend is sick, too, but she's at her house, so we can't take care of each other.
posted by interrobang 31 January | 17:11
Christ, I feel like shit.
posted by interrobang 31 January | 17:13
*reloads*

Don't make you ask me again....
posted by Cryptical Envelopment 31 January | 17:15
mgl, tell us more about how you got fired from a job you haven't even started?
posted by matildaben 31 January | 17:25
I have worked roughly 31 days in January.

I can safely say that I miss unemployment.
posted by cmonkey 31 January | 17:26
(((((mgl & interro))))

Buys a 6 for everyone this last day of January. I like to think *every* day of the year is as special as the last one. After all, there is only one of each.

[cracks open the amstel, watching waistline]
posted by chewatadistance 31 January | 18:35
I got pissed off at the temp agency today and admitted that being a $9 an hour call center person in some inhuman nightmare factory trying to sell cosmetics (this was supposed to start at 8 am Monday) wasn't my idea of a dream job & as soon as something better came along I was out of there. So they told me not to bother even going in if that was the case. Ah well. I'm kind of relieved to tell the truth. And it had it's comic moments, and I'm glad I blew the customer service training module by missing several important possible sales moments.
posted by mygothlaundry 31 January | 19:04
Things to Know:

1. Never tell temp agencies anything.

2. Unemployment blows. I get a check for $178.00.

3. If Chewatadistance isn't being ironic with the every day is a special day speech, I may shoot my own damn self.
posted by Lipstick Thespian 31 January | 19:14
Oh yeah, hugh, my corner bar is offering $25/all you can drink & eat kickoff to finish special on Sunday. You oughta meet me there.
posted by jonmc 31 January | 19:24
chewatadistance - switch to vodka and the only thing you'll have to worry about your waistline is it getting smaller and smaller and smaller and...
posted by porpoise 31 January | 21:13
Can It Be Next Wednesday Now Please || My mother is such a Noob. :-(

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