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25 January 2006
Porpoise killed me. How would you kill me? Bonus points for involving robots.
You only thought you did - the darkness that fell over you like a collapsed brooklyn bridge was merely your body giving out. Ancient evolutionarily stamped reflexes, betraying it's more modern bretheren.
You awaken to flickering light. You're left ankle hurts, and annoyingly soft muzak is battering your ears. You look around - there's a bright LCD cheerfully flashing
Particularly kind robots that nonetheless let all of your blood out of your body, with a quick slice of a really sharp scalpel across your femoral artery, having applied a strong jab of novocaine to your leg first and held you in their velvet padded steel and plastic arms. They will cradle you like an infant, wrapping one of their six arms, the softest and strongest arm, around your back and head to gaze down into your eyes with their own unblinking purple neon cameras as they croon to you "hush, hush" in a speak and spell voice. It will not hurt at all. They smell like the box a new television came in.
We got a couch delivered to the office the other day, that box was huge. I felt really bad razoring it to pieces but there were no kids around to fort it up and I actually did ask the local homeless dude if he wanted it (I felt bad about that too, but less bad than if I destroyed it and he did want it, he sleeps in a roll of carpets). He said "I don't sleep in no cardboard condo yo. Peace out honkus!"
But he said it kindly and I didn't take offence.
I know, it cured my dysentery and jumpstarted my car. I gave that crazy homeless dude who was wearing a paper bag like a traditional afghani mountain hat a very unguarded smile.
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
