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12 January 2006

What does it take to win your heart?
post by: agropyron at: 19:12 | 54 comments
For me it takes a delicate blend of wit, geekiness, and liking me.
posted by agropyron 12 January | 19:12
Sincere adoration.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero 12 January | 19:15
Fried rice.
posted by Edible Energy 12 January | 19:18
Cash.
posted by orthogonality 12 January | 19:19
Kindness, generosity, and wit.
posted by mudpuppie 12 January | 19:24
chedda
posted by puke & cry 12 January | 19:25
Oh, in all seriousness, I go for the smartest one in the room.

And I like ones who are angry about something, like social injustice or exploited factory workers or Bush: angry combined with social consciousness.

But sometimes I get confused, and end up with ones who are just petulant and bitchy smartasses, because a little petulance looks cute and determined.

So in defense I employ shallowness, and just go for the shortest ones.
posted by orthogonality 12 January | 19:26
TPS: How can someone not adore you?
posted by agropyron 12 January | 19:27
Getting a knife and cutting out of my chest would work, I guess.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 12 January | 19:33
Boobs.
posted by delmoi 12 January | 19:33
They don't have to be big or anything.
posted by delmoi 12 January | 19:34
Any boobs? What about man-boobs like Meatloaf had in Fight Club? Could Meatloaf win your heart?
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 12 January | 19:35
Smart.
Hot.
Funny.
Talented.
Tall.
Strong-willed.
Boobs.
posted by drjimmy11 12 January | 19:35
Sense of humor. Knowledge. Intelligence. Talent. Communication skills. Motivation. Long-term goals. Physical attraction. Sexual compatibility. Kindness. Digs me.

Basically, just like me but with boy parts. (kidding!)
posted by amro 12 January | 19:37
To win my heart, you need to:
-make me laugh (a lot)
-put out (a lot)
-understand me(not easy!)
-be quirky and nerdy (not crazy)
-have a certain je ne sais quoi
posted by SassHat 12 January | 19:45
(for all you non-French speakers, je ne sais quoi means "big dick")

posted by SassHat 12 January | 19:46
be quirky

Ah, agreed. I knew I'd forget an important one.
posted by amro 12 January | 19:47
I no longer know.
Unfortunately.
posted by seanyboy 12 January | 19:47
Sense of humor. Knowledge. Intelligence. Talent. Communication skills. Motivation. Long-term goals. Physical attraction. Sexual compatibility. Kindness. Digs me.
posted by interrobang 12 January | 19:49
Wait, amro's a chick?
posted by orthogonality 12 January | 19:58
You had me at hello.
posted by arse_hat 12 January | 19:59
Wait, amro's a chick?

Sheesh, I really need to put that in my profile. That's the third time this week that I've surprised someone on MeCha by being a girl. :)
posted by amro 12 January | 20:02
The ability to cringe and laugh simultaneously.


posted by jrossi4r 12 January | 20:04
Fourth!
posted by agropyron 12 January | 20:04
I'd always assumed amro was a dude.
posted by orthogonality 12 January | 20:05
Was one of the people Hugh? He's got some problems with this.

*Gives Hugh big boobie-squishing hug*
posted by jrossi4r 12 January | 20:09
..Whoa. Is that what happens when you tell women you thought they were a man? This is easy!
posted by agropyron 12 January | 20:10
Aye! If my heart were so simple as to be dissected in a single post, life would much more straightforward, indeed.

She is loyal to few and most questionably to me. Silly, silly fickle cow.

However, three things come to mind, but are by no means all encompassing (see above):

- Make me laugh consistently (possibly harder than it sounds, because I'm often laughing, but not always at the intended joke.)

- Do not hate or harsh my happy nature. You will be summarily drop kicked.

- Make me feel special. Not with anything outlandish, but it's the unexpected observation and follow through that leaves an impact.

- Be easy to be around. (That one works wonders, I'll tell you what.)

- Good sex is a bonus, but we all knew that, no?
posted by Frisbee Girl 12 January | 20:14
being willing to sleep with me.
posted by shmegegge 12 January | 20:16
no gag reflex
/pig
posted by puke & cry 12 January | 20:27
..Whoa. Is that what happens when you tell women you thought they were a man? This is easy!

*leaves bright red lipstick marks on ortho and agro's cheeks*
posted by amro 12 January | 20:27
Lower, please.
posted by orthogonality 12 January | 20:29
I'm, uh, still not convinced, amro and jrossi4r...
posted by agropyron 12 January | 20:29
Amro, the way to solve the confusion is to join Team Vag.
posted by SassHat 12 January | 20:30
A straight flush or better.
posted by bmarkey 12 January | 20:32
A gentle playful tease, inscrutability that unravels over time, appreciative of my experimental cooking, tactile, independent and forthright, and last: not picky.
posted by urbanwhaleshark 12 January | 20:56
I shudder to think of the try-outs for Team Vag. But I think the uniform is cool so I'm in. (This is the same logic I used when I decided to try out for lacrosse in 9th grade.)
posted by amro 12 January | 21:14
Comments like this one.

Barring such wit, a big heap of kindness helps.
posted by YouCanCallMeAl 12 January | 21:29
No real formula. Genuine-ness, mostly, I guess. Smarts. Playfulness. And you've got to have a pretty dark sense of humor to hang with Flo.

And a serious mastery of fellatio.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 12 January | 21:36
Brains, character, wit, depth, and an appreciation of Abba. And cunnilingus.
posted by go dog go 12 January | 21:47
Wise humility, independent thought, secret smiles, and genuine good character.
posted by Miko 12 January | 21:53
Must:
Find me insanely funny, and unbelievably attractive.

Be bordering on nymphomaniac with a great
appreciation of foreplay

Does not have to agree with me, but has to be willing to hear me out without mocking my politics (I'm extremely left wing, even by metawhatever standards).

Doesn't treat me like I'm broken, but understands I do have physical limitations beyond that of a normal person my age (in other words, slow the fuck down, I walk with a limp goddamnit).

Not grossed out by scars

Able to make me laugh constantly

Geekery of some form necessary, comics, movies, scifi, computers, something...

A healthy distrust of the government

Green or blue eyes and a good smile, the kind where the whole face smiles and not just the eyes, always helps, too.

I don't know... the big thing is a good balance of youthfulness and responsibility. Someone who has a steady job and doesn't live with their parents, but still wants to go clubbing and stay out all night, watch silly movies and get drunk, talk about comic books, stuff like that.

Although I may be biased since I'm in the early, giddyhappy ubercute stages of a new relationship right now.
posted by kellydamnit 12 January | 22:27
Can stand being around me for over an hour at a time.

or

Amro

(wait, Sense of humor. Knowledge. Intelligence. Talent. Communication skills. Motivation. Long-term goals. Physical attraction. Sexual compatibility. Kindness. Digs me. - well, I haven't met you so I can't say.)
posted by porpoise 12 January | 23:17
Serenity.
posted by gaspode 12 January | 23:36
when people ask this question, everyone basically has the same answer. maybe you'll say brown eyes and your friend will say green eyes, but other than that, if you ask people to name the characteristics that they absolutely need to have in whomsoever they want to belong to, everyone will say just about the same thing. if that's how it worked, if that were the case, we would all be wanting to date this one girl or boy who most perfectly exemplified having a sense of humour and being caring and quirky and interested in you and blah blah blah, and everyone else would be broken hearted that only one person got to be with that perfect mate. even that perfect mate would be him- or herself disappointed because they ended up with someone who did not so perfectly exemplify those traits and characteristics. but this is not what happens.

what happens is, a list of characteristics doesn't mean shit. you'll just know it when you meet her. i knew it when i met her and i would give anything if i could go back and talk some goddamn sense into me c. 1997.
posted by sam 13 January | 01:37
i should clarify: it's happened again for me, since then, and i'm happier than even before. but that's so much pain to go through, and i still feel like i'm carrying the scars of it.
posted by sam 13 January | 01:38
Major Histocompatability Complexes different than mine.
posted by orthogonality 13 January | 04:10
Oh Sam, you big dumb lug: you'll figure it out someday. I promise.
posted by Frisbee Girl 13 January | 05:22
Goofyness, a certain amount of empathy and kindness, a little punk rock and a foul fucking mouth is what gets me every time. The willingness to coldly stab an enemy in the groin is a plus as well.
posted by Divine_Wino 13 January | 09:47
Yeeps! I have no idea how to answer this! But usually the key to my heart is to not like me. It makes me try harder.

this might make me fucked.
posted by Mrs.Pants 13 January | 10:30
I dunno. It just happens.
posted by warbaby 13 January | 10:53
orthogonality - apparently MHC affects pheramones and people (of the opposite sex) with not-too-dissimilar MHC smell "better" than people (of the opposite sex) with very disparate MHC.

Having a mate with sufficiently different enough MHC would seem to be a evolutionary advantage for your offspring but there is increasing number of cases where infertility (where both parties are healthy as are their haploid cells) is caused by the mother rejecting the fertilized zygote.
posted by porpoise 13 January | 13:06
orthogonality - apparently MHC affects pheramones and people (of the opposite sex) with not-too-dissimilar MHC smell "better" than people (of the opposite sex) with very disparate MHC.... the mother rejecting the fertilized zygote.


Pheramones. I liked that band. Especially Joey Pheramone.

But seriously. Yeah, I know. And about the pheasants who like best the smell of cousins, and the mice.

And smell has always been large component in what I find (un)attractive. Of course, what I consciously smell probably has nothing to do with the pheromones.

Actually, I'm reading about maternal killer genes today. Some speculation is that many genes in placental mammals are maternal killers that went to fixation, and this accounts for the greater early gene expression in mammalian fetuses, compared to non-mammalians. By that theory, genes evolved to express in the fetus rather than in the pregnant mother, because doing so meant killing any fetus that didn't have that allele, in a mother that did have the allele, died. That in turn gives that allele "drive" that caused it to be inherited more than the mere Mendelian 1:2:1, thus spreading (in the absence of any of deleterious effects) that allele to fixation. Very cool stuff.

posted by orthogonality 13 January | 13:29
I would prefer a healthy mare such as could bear my young. A prolific clan would emerge.
posted by catfry 13 January | 14:14
← So anyway... || I've been trying to come up with ten things I hate for the past several day →

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