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12 January 2006

Pick a Job for Lipstick Thespian! →[More:]To make my job search more fun and rewarding, why not suggest something you'd like LT to be paid for? Have at it, Metachattastic Folks!
post by: Lipstick Thespian at: 14:56 | 44 comments
Going around to all the bus stop posters for the show "The L Word" and writing on them, in lipstick, "LIPSTICK."
posted by Hugh Janus 12 January | 14:57
Some ideas for you:
Ditch digger
Ticket scalper
Watch repairman
Vice President of Engineering
posted by agropyron 12 January | 14:58
Exotic Dancer
Waitress In The Sky
Gangster Of Love
posted by jonmc 12 January | 15:00
Stenciller
posted by Hugh Janus 12 January | 15:01
Man of Leisure
posted by cmonkey 12 January | 15:08
Attention whore?

Or "focus libertine", as I like to call it.
posted by iconomy 12 January | 15:09
Astronaut
Emporer
God

Ooh! Assassin!
posted by mike9322 12 January | 15:12
travailing one man nativity scene
guest celebrity coxswain
father figure to wayward girls
posted by arse_hat 12 January | 15:14
Seeing as you're in Seattle, I'd recommend Gondolier.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 12 January | 15:14
Consigliere.
posted by jonmc 12 January | 15:15
Bürgermeister
posted by arse_hat 12 January | 15:19
Professional Oblomov Imitator

(well it's my dream job anyway)

(Disclaimer: I have never actually gotten around to reading Oblomov)
posted by PinkStainlessTail 12 January | 15:20
Thespian, of course.
Although that's usually an unpaid position.

Uh, how 'bout a workin' man? The Lord loves those.
posted by me3dia 12 January | 15:22
Gigolo

Explosives expert

Auctioneer
posted by porpoise 12 January | 15:22
Smoker.
posted by danostuporstar 12 January | 15:22
Hot guy who brings me drinks. The pay is $1/wk. Plus all the vodka & beer I don't drink.
posted by dame 12 January | 15:23
Plus all the vodka & beer I don't drink.


I've had a vodka & beer before. It's disgusting, but it gets the job done. Still, I'd prefer a gin & tonic.
posted by me3dia 12 January | 15:25
*sticks out tongue*
posted by dame 12 January | 15:26
Zamboni operator!
posted by pieisexactlythree 12 January | 15:27
Turtle Washer.
posted by jonmc 12 January | 15:27
Let us consult the Oracle of iTunes:

Rock Lobster

Surfer Girl

Harvester of Eyes

Ex Lion Tamer
posted by bmarkey 12 January | 15:33
Ninja, of course!
posted by deborah 12 January | 15:34
Barfly
posted by jonmc 12 January | 15:39
drawer of water and hewer of wood
Yakov Smirnov impersonator
chicken sexer
posted by arse_hat 12 January | 15:39
moog operator
posted by joelf 12 January | 15:41
I second the chicken sexer. Because, you know, bunny sexer would be a mite too creepy.
posted by Frisbee Girl 12 January | 15:41
lager lout
pig greaser
U.S.D.A. meat grader
posted by arse_hat 12 January | 15:42
Sports Mascot. Preferably Roller Derby.
posted by jonmc 12 January | 15:43
tee ball league color commentator
kill floor manager
body inflation artist
posted by arse_hat 12 January | 15:48
Condom tester.
posted by ramix 12 January | 15:50
If you'd like to be a chicken sexer, move in with me. There are a ton of them out here.(Unless we're talking about people who have sex with chickens, in which case, I'm not really sure what the job prospects are.)

Also, I knew a turtle washer. I once worked at a restaurant whose specialty was snapper soup. It was the dishwasher's job to scrub the snapping turtles before they were slaughtered. They were white when he was done. It horrified me.
posted by jrossi4r 12 January | 15:55
hall monitor
prison snitch
bear baiter
posted by arse_hat 12 January | 15:56
Whorehouse blogger
posted by sarah connor 12 January | 16:03
bloghouse whore
posted by jonmc 12 January | 16:05
houser of blogwhores
posted by arse_hat 12 January | 16:07
whore of bloghouses
posted by dame 12 January | 16:16
not safe for worker
posted by Hellbient 12 January | 16:24
I think Metachat needs a doorman, in the whole doorman uniform and everything, a real classy job. Fancy it?
posted by dodgygeezer 12 January | 16:26
horse whisperer
Kobe beef cow massager
disaffected Goth youth sexer
posted by arse_hat 12 January | 16:33
liquor tester
bowling ball polisher
mattress QC inspector
stenographer to the rich and famous
R&F person: "LT, take a letter"
LT: "Uh, J?"
posted by warbaby 12 January | 17:17
Seafair Pirate
*I always wanted to know a Seafair Pirate*
posted by warbaby 12 January | 17:18
Haberdasher.
posted by SassHat 12 January | 17:30
Young man, you can always find work down in the dingleberry fields.
posted by Hellbient 12 January | 17:44
good words to use to make a fully obscure job description:

Analyst (good if you're very anal, or just a big ass)

Specialist (just don't mention what you specialize in)

Associate (just affix to the beginning of your boss's job title... unless it's Analyst or Specialist)

Spokesmodel (must be able to point at things)

Whistleblower (get that in your job description and you've got it made)

CONSULTANT (the Holy Grail of non-descriptive job descriptions)

and don't ever let them call you "Temp", you're Interim!

Oh, you wanted an idea of jobs to DO? I have no idea.
posted by wendell 12 January | 18:23
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