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12 January 2006

I had no idea! Jonmc - began wetting pants.
Color me loopless, but who is Rachel Ray?
posted by chewatadistance 12 January | 18:10
posted by miles 12 January | 18:17
Whoops!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rachael_Ray
posted by miles 12 January | 18:18
They should get a shot of the gun-toting creep behind the camera who makes sure she keeps smiling.
thaat's it Rachel, biiig smile...
posted by Hellbient 12 January | 18:29
Rachel Ray Sucks.
posted by ericb 12 January | 18:32
I used to be annoyed to high hell by her, but she won me over after a while. 30 minute meals is a good show, and she's pretty hot. She does need to lay off the smiling though.
posted by puke & cry 12 January | 18:38
her mag is one of the most successful launches since Oprah's mag. (i really don't like her, but it's actually a nice magazine--looks great, and has simple recipes)
posted by amberglow 12 January | 18:39
I would eat her food, but then I eat almost anything. Perhaps I would even eat her, drizzled in EVOO and bacon fat-wilted chard.

Hell, however, would be the reality of being trapped in a small room - or worse, an open air market - with her - 9th level thereof provided by a large bowl of coke or meth.
posted by loquacious 12 January | 19:30
So after devowering her would you smile (even bigger than before) at the camera and say "YUM-O"?
posted by miles 12 January | 19:38
I dunno what the surprise is, I have known that jonmc wets his pants for a long time. It is hardly a secret.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs 12 January | 19:42
don't forget the leaky napkin
posted by puke & cry 12 January | 19:55
How good is that?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 12 January | 19:59
Soon my shrine will be complete....

(and suck it, haters!)
posted by jonmc 12 January | 20:24
*sucks, it*
posted by Hellbient 13 January | 00:10
I heart Rachel Ray.
posted by tr33hggr 13 January | 07:48
Are you all kidding? That magazine looks like something sitting on the coffee table in the recovery room at the hospital for major brain mass excision. What is your favorite soda pop? Is this a trick? Jon, you might think she is cute, but the only thing you are doing with that magazine is fanning away a beer fart so you can finish you jalapeno poppers.

Seriously I love you all, but come on to even look at that piece of shit would be to admit that you've lost your soul.


Ginger Salmon with Garlicky Butter Beans and Spinach
A quick marinade gives this salmon recipe a little extra interest.


Faggggh I'd rather tear out a catheter than find out how a marinade adds a little extra interest.

If you ever walk into a room and find my brains all over the wall and a copy of this magazine you just tell the cops it's my suicide note.

If MFK Fisher was alive we would load up on oysters and lots of well buttered toast and plenty of meth and cool dark beer and go and burn this shit down. Writing about food can be transcendant, but not when your goal is to leave as little impression as possible.

Whew, I feel better now.
posted by Divine_Wino 13 January | 09:42
*applauds*
posted by taz 13 January | 09:52
Wino, I wouldn't read her articles. I just wanna take her down to Pop's Choc'lit Shop for a malted, then out to Inspiration Point, where we'd make out to old Ronettes records.

(crushes, like love, are based largely on illogical, irrational impulses, so my Rachel crush dosen't have to make sense)
posted by jonmc 13 January | 09:56
I know I know and I know you would agree, I just fucking hate that middle of the road cutesy thing so much, it smells deeply of fear.
posted by Divine_Wino 13 January | 10:10
Yeah, but in her case it seems genuine, no like some Corey Haim-wholesome where he drops the all-american thing and starts snorting Carbona off schnauzers genitals in pink capris as soon as the camera's off.
posted by jonmc 13 January | 10:20
like some Corey Haim-wholesome where he drops the all-american thing and starts snorting Carbona off schnauzers genitals in pink capris as soon as the camera's off.

But see, that's what I'm saying, Corey knows shit is fucked up and the best response is to be as fucked up as they'll let you be, acting normal when no one is looking means that they've gotten to you all the way, you're broken.

posted by Divine_Wino 13 January | 10:39
I dunno man, I'm just a sucker for genuine wholesomeness, what can I tell you.

*retuns to fondling bag of stale pretzels named Uncle Ed while wearing a leather mini and a cowboy hat*
posted by jonmc 13 January | 10:42
Rachel Ray is deathly afraid of every bite of food she eats. Her sweat smells like panic and sea salt.
posted by Hugh Janus 13 January | 11:46
Flying Shrimp Eventually Kills Man || "on being an angel"

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