MetaChat - But that is NOT MY NAME!

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11 January 2006

But that is NOT MY NAME! Here is the conversation I just had at the dentist's office.→[More:]

Receptionist: By the way, we changed all your records over to your husband's last name.

Me: But I don't use Hubbyname. My name is Rossi.

R: Yeah. But that's confusing for us. So from now on, when dealing with this office, please refer to yourself as JHubbyname.

Me: I never refer to myself as JHubbyname. My name is Rossi. Legally. Professionally. Personally. Rossi.

R:Right, but your insurance is through your husband, so it's hard for us that you have a different name. So when you make appts and stuff, just use your married name.

Me: But THAT IS NOT MY NAME. MY NAME IS ROSSI.

R: I don't understand why this is a big deal.

Me: And I don't understand why it's a big deal to want my dental records to reflect MY LEGAL NAME.

This argument went on interminably. She would not budge.

post by: jrossi4r at: 12:36 | 26 comments

OH crap! Forgot the more inside. Little help, admins?

posted by jrossi4r 11 January | 12:37

Complain to the dentist. If he does not change the name back find a new dentist.

posted by arse_hat 11 January | 12:41

You shoulda told her you were a fire jumper and needed to be absolutely sure you could be identified by your dental records, in the eventuality.

That's really bullshit. She was just being lazy and stubborn, and you should tell her you're changing dentists over this.

posted by Hugh Janus 11 January | 12:42

You: I shall now be referring to you as "The Lazy, Dumbass Receptionist Who Works At My Ex-Dentist's Office."

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 11 January | 12:44

Lazy cow.

posted by orthogonality 11 January | 12:45

Now, get to the kitchen and make your husband a turkey pot pie and stop worrying your pretty head about it.

posted by mr_crash_davis 11 January | 12:54

Thanks for clean-up.

I don't know how sympathetic the dentist would be. The first time he looked at my chart he said, "Oh, I guess you're one of those feminists."
What the hell? It's 2006. I seriously doubt I'm the only woman you treat who didn't change names. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of dentists in the area. But I guess I should start looking.

posted by jrossi4r 11 January | 12:55

At least he didn't use feminazi.

posted by arse_hat 11 January | 13:02

After he said, "Oh, I guess you're one of those feminists," if you said, "I've never been so offended in my life. My husband will hear of this!" and stormed out, it would have been cool.

posted by Hugh Janus 11 January | 13:07

New dentist time, seriously. Anyone who uses the term "those feminists" should not be putting his fingers anywhere within biting range...

posted by occhiblu 11 January | 13:19

Yeah, new dentist, and a nicely written letter, possibly cc'd to the local paper, explaining precisely why. Gah! WHY is this kind of thing so FUCKING hard for people to wrap their minds around? When my kids were in public school I used to have to patiently explain every year that yes, their names were different than mine, but no, that didn't mean they weren't my kids.

posted by mygothlaundry 11 January | 13:26

This is a sad story about a lazy receptionist. I can't imagine that anyone would try to convince someone of this. Why not assign all patients a number, and insist they identify themselves as "Income Unit 598" when they call to book an appointment?

Also, as one who lives in a city overrun with dentists and chiropractors, I can't imagine not being able to change dentists on a whim, let alone such an offensive exchange.

posted by richat 11 January | 13:35

Give me a break. If you had a stepchild and the child had a different last name they would figure out how to deal with it.

I'm not even a feminist and I think the receptionist is way way way outa line.

But if you otherwise can deal with the dentist it couldn't hurt to let him know first. Who knows, he could surprise you.

posted by bunnyfire 11 January | 13:38

Or you should have burst out crying and
fainted on a specially designed fainting couch. Get a new dentist.

posted by Divine_Wino 11 January | 13:39

Definitely insist! Nothing like trying to transfer medical records around when they don't have your legal name on them. Jeez.

I had a similar exchange about a couple my company does investing for. The investment company insisted on using the husband's tax ID on everything, which had tax consequences for our clients. I had to go way over the rep's head to fix it. I hate doing that.

posted by small_ruminant 11 January | 13:56

As an alternative, offer to get a chip implanted. That way they can scan you and automatically bill the insurance co. No need for names at all.

posted by sarah connor 11 January | 13:58

Fucktards.

posted by deborah 11 January | 14:13

aargghhh, jrossi, I feel for you. And my hand was twitching as I read your story - I wanted to slap someone. I live in fear of something like this happening to me, because I may end up arrested, and the receptionist (or whoever) may end up dead.

Oh, and just because I can't resist, one of my favorite essays: yes, you are a feminist.

posted by gaspode 11 January | 14:30

You know, her justification that the name change was because you're on your husband's health insurance is totally bogus -- referring to you by something other than your legal one (and presumably the one on your health insurance) could lead to denial of payment. Which would screw both you and the dentist.

Total. Idiot.

posted by me3dia 11 January | 14:49

Ah, there's nothing like a bureaunazi.

"My $10/hour admin job is easier if you conform to my wishes. This is the only minuscule bit of control I have in my life. Thus, you shall kiss my filing cabinet."

posted by teece 11 January | 14:59

Gaspode, that is a great essay. I may keep a copy in my wallet to pull out every time someone says, "I'm not a feminist, but..."

And your right, me3, I just checked with the insurance company and they have me listed by my legal name on my husband's plan. A claim submitted in another name would not get paid.

Thanks for the support, you guys. I was starting to think that I was going insane. You've made me feel much better.

posted by jrossi4r 11 January | 15:02

It's been said, but get a new dentist. And then come on a day when the waiting area is particularly busy and proclaim to the receptionist in a loud voice just about why you will be taking your business elsewhere. I think the other clients of this dentist need to know what an idiot he and the staff he employs are. I agree with the whole writing a letter to your local paper thing too.

posted by kosher_jenny 11 January | 15:48

"Because you might not percieve Adam Smith's Invisible Hand at work, I shall demonstrate the gesture the marketplace is making to you: [Make rude gesture] My new dentist sends her regards."

posted by Triode 11 January | 15:59

Jesus.

posted by mudpuppie 11 January | 16:21

I've had a few odd encounters when people have had to deal with my name changing when I married, and then changing back when I divorced. Which is really stupid because this is not a problem for/with women. But a lot of people (and software, whatever) don't expect a man's name to change this way.

posted by kmellis 11 January | 23:12

Oh, I guess you're one of those feminists

one more vote for 'get a new dentist'. what a wanker.

posted by Wedge 12 January | 20:17

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