I apoligize for being too stupid to utilize [read more]. It's a problem I have and I'm trying to deal with it.

A question: If you're not planning on being romantically involved, why does it matter whether she's married?

An observation: It does not sound at all hinky (to me) for a woman to be concerned about revealing her single parenthood to an online community. In fact, I think it sounds downright prudent. Fabricating a "husband" is a little more involved, but I can sort of understand that too.

mudpuppie: It doesn't really matter, it just came as a shock to me since she made it very clear that she was single.

I think it's a little hinky. She might be doing it, I guess, if the board in question is all super married happy moms and she doesn't want to be the token single mother, but still. Is it possible that she's recently divorced and that post is in reference to an ex husband?

I would say that if you care that much, you might as well follow her and see if she has a husband.

As much as I'd like to entertain being a total creep, I live on the other side of the country. So following her is not an option.

Plus, I don't really care. I'm asking less out of a desire to resolve this issue and more out of curiosity.

then there ain't no tellin. She could be an out n out liar, she could be a divorcee, she could be a space alien. You'll never know.

When you say "those kinds of boards" do you mean parent-oriented boards, or just community forums generally?

I could definitely see how a woman might not choose to reveal that she lives alone in a forum-type situation, especially if there's any risk at all of situational personal details being disclosed. But if it's only about the "baby boards" it doesn't seem to make much sense to me. But what do I know? Maybe those boards are vipers' nests of naked aggression and hostility toward single moms. [smiley, winky emoticon here]

Is it bullshit to fabricate a spouse to feel more secure on a message board? Hmmm - not sure, wait just a minute while I ask my husband what he thinks.

*squints* madamjujive, is that the guy from Will & Grace?

Anyway, it's isn't too hard for me to imagine a "baby board" that has a less-than-sunny attitude to singles moms, so her inventing a husband seems reasonable if she wants to avoid any unwanted hassle or future flame wars. Not something I'd do if I was in that situation, but meh. (I'm sure there are tons of boards out there friendly to single moms)

Maybe a better question ask her would be why she was advised to make up a husband for this husband, and why she would want to stay on this forum if she has to lie?

People try out different personas online sometimes. Or they want to be something else to make a point, or get past a social barrier. In a way googling is both a trivial thing and an invasion of trust, fraught with its own problems, as you've discovered.

I don't think it's your place to ask her about this, unless you were thinking of further involvement.

kosher_jenny, that's the Brawny guy - iconomy's favorite smarm-meister ;-)

Not that it likely has anything to do with this but Scott Peterson said he was single to Amber Frey too.

In this instance, I'd file it away as a piece of the puzzle and bring it back out if there are further incidents where her life and the truth diverge.