One person, who was an original member of the core group has been a thorn in my side with the new board from day one. He would request features, tweaking this that and the other, everything from topic names to expiration dates. He was relentless. I tried joking with him initially to blow him off, but he kept badgering me. Both via email and on the board. I finally got pissed and said, if you don’t like it tough! I’m doing this for free for you guys, and if you want to change and change and change, make your own damn board! He got huffy, slinging personal insults, saying it was wrong for someone who wasn’t even “an original member of the group to just come in and take over”. So we went through a painful period where we did every fucking change diplomatically and had the whole board vote. That pretty much killed the fun for me, but I kept the board b/c I didn’t think it was fair to drag everyone else through the shit between me and Problem Child. It kind of settled out, but it has never been the same fun for me.

Well, Problem Child has decided to rear his head again and I’m just so fucking done with him. Background on him: this person is 34. He lives with his mother. He has never been outside of his country, which is very small, and attached to Spain. His girlfriend dumped him over a year ago, and he still complains about it, and plays games and makes comments like, I bet this will get her back, and so on. Borderline psycho, and chauvinist IMHO.

I have made an effort to avoid him and his threads b/c he is so boring, has no life and drags his negativity to the board. But he doesn’t stay out of my threads – he comes in and whines and bitches, and even then I just ignore him b/c I think he’s looking for a fight.

The latest: I think the shouting threads here are cool, and fun. So I started one over there. The first one people didn’t really catch on, so I waited a couple of weeks and posted another one. This time it caught on and people had fun with it. Until PC came in & said it was too hard to read in all caps. So I posted back, QUIT WHINING, AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE FUCKING THREAD, DON’T READ IT! Which went over like a bag of bricks of course, so now we’re scuffling.

Bottom line is, I feel like my choices are either to ban the guy (making me the asshole), or shut the board down. Since I don’t feel like continuing to spend time with the assholery, I don’t think leaving the board up is a fair option to me, being my web space, bandwidth etc.

I feel shitty about shutting all the other people down though. I found a place that hosts a free similar board and set one up, thinking I’d make someone else an admin and have them delete my account and I could just walk away. I haven’t told them about the new place yet.

Is there some other option I could consider? What are you guys’ thoughts?

Just ban him. If the others don't like that, they can leave.

Ban him.

Can you set up a section visable only to a limited membership and invite people who opinions matter to you (privately via email) to discuss in the private area the problem and the options you are considering.

PhpBB has that right?

*organ music*

I live how Vanilla's board software lets the admin label a user a douchebag. Each comment from that user starts with "I'm a douchebag." I think it's customizable, as well.

"love"

BANNINATE SMASH!

LOLOLOLOLOL brainwidth! I could make the word substitution do that too.

I'm trying not to be a butthole but FUCK man. Now he's posted this stupid dramatic note saying he is "stepping down as moderator". That was another facet of our initial diagreement: He insisted we needed a moderator on a board of less than 15 people who all knew each other from the previous forums. I kept saying it wasn't necessary, that we were all adults (except for him, evidently) and could handle it. So I made him moderator of a section of the board in hope to placate his whiney ass.

But My gut tells me he was angling to be made an admin so he could get in and tweak shit himself and act like he had a big dick being ADMIN, even though he had no idea how. All his welcome posts started with, "Welcome, I'm moderator here and blah blah blah."

So should I say, look I'm sick of the bullshit and Im banning you until you decide you can drop it, or what? And should I do that publicly on the board or over email?

and dano - yeah I can setup a separate section for discussion without him.

Publicly

People like that are very hard to communicate with, and a private explanation of your reasons for the ban would probably not help much. Also, a public explanation may prolong the drama. Frankly, I would just ban him without saying a word, publicly or privately. If someone asks you, just say that you banned him for being abusive and disruptive. Enough said.

My favorite private message boards are all unafraid and unapologetic with the banhammer.

Online drama isn't worth it. (Hell, most real-life drama isn't worth it either.)

I've always had trouble with stuff like this. I'm sure none of the others are worried about it, and it makes me mad that this idiot twists my panties so badly.

Maybe this is a test for me.

This is your groups third board? Geez.

I think you should just say what you said here to this guy. And tell him that you decided to ban him if he complains about the site one more time.

How many users do you have?

If you have no real desire to keep the board going other than a sense of obligation to the other members, maybe think about just making him admin, and washing your hands of it? Would that make you happy, or do you want to keep running the board? Would the other members care if he became head honcho?

I know it probably would irk you to give him what he is trying so hard to get (and going about so badly) after he's made you so miserable, but if it makes everyone happy to do it, hell go for it. Unless you want to keep being at the helm, in which case I say lower the banhammer. Toot sweet.

- Give him a last warning
- Ban him
- Post a public explantion explaining what you did and why and include an offer for the alternative board to the members who want to leave (making your nemesis admin, of course)
- If enough members decide to leave close your own board

I hope it works out for you, chewie.

Banning him = brilliant.

He sounds like such a tremendous pain in the arse it makes me wonder why anyone else on your forum puts up with him. If they like this guy and think his behaviour is acceptable then you might have a bigger problem than can be sorted out with banning. Having said that I'd try banning before closing the board, you've got nothing to lose.

We have less than 15 user, so it's not like this is affecting a huge population or anything.

As for running the board, I don't really care - it maintains itself for the most part, with an occasional db hiccup that reso;ves itself within an hour.

I have offered many many time for him to go start up a new board and run it, and he never took me up onit, mostly b'c he is lazy and like to complain.

I think I like the suggestion to state bluntly in a locked thread that if he continues to be an asshole I'm banning him.

Am I nuts to think that this is my space, and I shouldn't have to put up with the bullshit?

Dude, most board operators I know are much less tolerant than you're being. It's bad for your health to put up with this shit. You own and run the site, you can remove anyone for any reason. Do it!

do you think there were enough typos in that last post?!

Deborah I am taking you up on that.

Pictures at 11.

Thanks for being a sounding board, you guys.

Am I nuts to think that this is my space, and I shouldn't have to put up with the bullshit?

accept the ban-hammer into your heart, and you will be happier for it.

will it retaliate at you?
in such a case, i say consult our security gurus.
you can never be too safe.

I've had a similar problem.

My advice: Email him a list of ground rules. Tell him that if he is to continue being involved, he must stick with them. Include all your grievances -- me must not attack people, if he has a problem with you, he should take it up with you personally, YOU'RE the admin and all final decisions are yours, etc. Be specific and detailed. Include examples of when he has stepped over the line before. Not in a malicious way, but just so he knows you're not making baseless accusations.

Tell him the rules are non-negotiable and ask him if he can abide by them. Chances are he'll say no and leave. But if he says yes and then fucks up, you can ban him knowing that you did everything you could to help him be a productive member of the group -- and you can ban without guilt.

Am I nuts to think that this is my space, and I shouldn't have to put up with the bullshit?

What, are you kidding? It's your board!

Would you let him into your house? Would you feel obligated to give him rides in your car?

Your house, your rules. If your feeling very generous, give him a warning. If not, just ban his ass.

It will either make others happy, or make them leave. Since your other choice is to shut the board down, you can't lose, really.

my suggestion:

public post, saying the following:

hi, all. I hate this. Problem Child is making my life hell, and I'm at the point where I just don't want to do this anymore, specifically because doing it means dealing with him. Since I don't want to just kill the whole board, I'm going to give you guys some choices.

1. ban PC, keep running this myself.
2. quit. give the board to PC and let you all deal with him.
3. quit. give the board to someone else and let them deal with PC as they see fit.
4. quit. shut it all down, and the hell with it. nice knowing you.

then just do whatever they vote on. with 15 people, you can actually get a real consensus.

I just posted a warning to him. I think I'm going to need a lot of beer. I wish I wasn't such a fucking wimp.

Is this Migs we are talking about?

No, no no. Migs would never be an A-hole. I've only seen him get huffy online ONCE and even then it was classy.

I was joking--the "his country, which is very small, and attached to Spain" part made me say it.

Seriously, what everyone else said--ban him. The world needs more banning.

So assholeius supremius rebutted my warning post by calling me a dictator and telling me I can't take criticism. I am So banning his goddamn ass after I have beers. this shit blows.

Have I mentioned I love you guys?

fuck.

After you ban him, post a goofy picture of a fat guy eating a hot dog or something with his name under it on the front page of your site.

you know that picture of the pissing elephant? use that one.

banninating the peasants!
banninating the fields!

I banned him. It was exceptionally dramatic. I'm sure he would be awarded an oscar.

Congratulations!