MetaChat - Out of ideas for last-minute Xmas gifts?

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22 December 2005

Out of ideas for last-minute Xmas gifts? How about a semen detection kit? Make sure to read the customer reviews:

"We used this test in regards to our daughter and wanted to be sure we bought the right one."

post by: mr_crash_davis at: 23:54 | 10 comments

For large jobs we also carry a Professional Semen Detection Kit

Phew. I'd hate to be caught with an amateur semen detection kit. How embarrassing.

posted by LeeJay 23 December | 00:00

I was wondering.

Does that mean the regular kit doesn't work if you've been fooling around with your doctor? How about your tax accountant?

posted by bonehead 23 December | 00:01

"We used this test in regards to our daughter"
So what did they swab?

posted by arse_hat 23 December | 00:03

For large jobs...

Also, what does this mean, vis a vis the volume of emisions of, say, your dentist versus your pool boy? More mess in the OR?

posted by bonehead 23 December | 00:05

"large jobs"
Large girls have more to swab?

posted by arse_hat 23 December | 00:08

You'd think that large "jobs" would be easier to detect...

posted by porpoise 23 December | 00:12

Who swabs their daughter for semen? Seriously?

(That being said, my parents would have had to order the industrial kit.)

posted by jrossi4r 23 December | 00:22

Did anyone else read the rest of that review?

...we were pleased in every way...except for the positive test result. :(

posted by tracicle 23 December | 02:12

Who swabs their daughter for semen? Seriously?

Well, parents test warning, stupid stupid stupid site kids for alcohol and drugs (I ran into one that claimed that urine splashes could be collected and were sufficient to test - can't find it because I'm too drunkenly lazy to right now).

As for the original thinger - I wonder what a girl would think if their parents waved this UV light over them when they got home from a date to see if there was semen on their clothes... (would they continue to spit or start swallowing?)

I keed I keed - or maybe not.

posted by porpoise 23 December | 02:16

"my parents would have had to order the industrial kit" must ask: many dates or one heroic boyfriend? :)

posted by arse_hat 23 December | 02:26

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