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06 December 2005

Another fake AskMe? "Years ago I slept with a married celebrity, now reporters are digging up dirt."
post by: agropyron at: 18:53 | 69 comments
You just wish it was you.
posted by matildaben 06 December | 18:57
When I was a sophomore in college, I met and carried on a relationship with this married celebrity, Mr. X, who was pretty much revered in the media as a saint.

Oh god, please tell me it's not Mr. Rogers. I don't think I could handle that.
posted by mudpuppie 06 December | 19:01
I don't think it's fake.
I wish I knew more, but that's just the gossip in me.
posted by seanyboy 06 December | 19:02
We'll have to closely watch the celebrity tell-all books coming out in the next couple of months. Look for the saints, and all.
posted by interrobang 06 December | 19:02
Or -- shit! -- maybe it was the pope!
posted by mudpuppie 06 December | 19:03
I choose to believe it's real because I'm having fun trying to guess who it could be. Who's a married saint? Tom Hanks? He's the saintliest one I can think of.
posted by jrossi4r 06 December | 19:06
Yeah, who could it possibly be? Who's considered a saint in the eyes of the media?
posted by interrobang 06 December | 19:08
Madonna.
posted by Edible Energy 06 December | 19:11
Maybe "saint" is a clue.
posted by deborah 06 December | 19:13
I thought Tom Hanks immediately. Barring him, Carrot Top.
posted by SassHat 06 December | 19:14
Maybe "saint" is a clue.
posted by seanyboy 06 December | 19:15
Perhaps "Saint" is a clue...
posted by SassHat 06 December | 19:17
Boo hoo. I had sex with a married celebrity and my roommate blabbed about our "relationship" after I happened to mention my conquest to the sorority sisters. Now I don't want to deal with the obvious consequences.
posted by drpynchon 06 December | 19:20
Meh. Haven't we all had flings with married celebrities?
posted by cmonkey 06 December | 19:23
You never did anything stupid in college? Lord knows I did.

Not like that, but I was a pretty dumb bunny in those days. Wouldn't want to be in print about it neither.
posted by bunnyfire 06 December | 19:24
I mean there was the time I nailed Demi. But you know what, I sucked it up and took my beating from Bruce like a man.
posted by drpynchon 06 December | 19:29
I did many stupid things in college. Also, many stupid guys. None were celebrities.

Who else...Harrison Ford? Paul Newman? Or how about Bill Cosby. Did anony go to Temple?

posted by jrossi4r 06 December | 19:30
drpynchon, you too?
posted by Specklet 06 December | 19:32
Maybe "saint" is a clue.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson 06 December | 20:04
I already came out with mine.
posted by arse_hat 06 December | 20:12
Years ago I used to get high with a current celebrity who currently gets high all the time. Oh, wait... Where can I sell my dirt!?
posted by Cryptical Envelopment 06 December | 20:19
Or how about Bill Cosby.

I think Bill lost his Saint status a while ago.

I never slept with any celebrities, but looking back (I was dense about the ways of women in college) I probably could've scored with a girl who was later a contestant on a reality show.
posted by jonmc 06 December | 20:19
when I was younger and hotter, I went out with a pretty popular TV personality. twice. and she was at the time dating someone else.
she has now slipped into semi-obscurity. I refuse to think it is somehow my fault.



there, I said it.
posted by matteo 06 December | 20:22
Googling "obscure semi" reveals this.
Turn up the volume, mateo.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium 06 December | 20:34
...can't spell this week, matteo.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium 06 December | 20:36
One of the guys in Black Flag hit on me, but that was twenty years ago. I was put off by his "I'm famous, now blow me" attitude.

Huh. That looks even less interesting typed out than it sounds in conversation, and it's pretty uninteresting in conversation, too.

*rambles* Also at that time I had a friend who liked to pursue semi-rock stars... she brought a guy from Husker Du home once. Later on he sent her a postcard of a naked female torso covered with what looked like chocolate. /rambling
posted by jokeefe 06 December | 20:48
she brought a guy from Husker Du home once

I'm guessing it wasn't Bob.
posted by jonmc 06 December | 20:49
Music geek comedy gold.
posted by drpynchon 06 December | 20:52
I'd also hazard a guess that the "I'm famous, blow me," member was ol' Hammerin' Hank.
posted by jonmc 06 December | 20:54
Also, how come us MeFi celebrities don't have groupies?

Prolly just as well, coz then we'd need roadies.
posted by jonmc 06 December | 20:55
I'm guessing it wasn't Bob.

Don't remember. :) I was sleeping in the living room though, and she didn't have a door on her bedroom, so when I passed it on my way to use the bathroom I had to avert my eyes from the unholy proceedings.
posted by jokeefe 06 December | 20:55
A few years back my friend had one of the guys from Inner Circle follow her around some club with a video camera, apparently hoping for an upskirt.

The Husker Du story is better, and I don't even know who/what that is.
posted by SassHat 06 December | 20:55
I'd also hazard a guess that the "I'm famous, blow me," member was ol' Hammerin' Hank.

It was Ron Raius, actually. Which made the "I'm famous" part even funnier.
posted by jokeefe 06 December | 20:56
Perhaps "saint" is a clue.
posted by orthogonality 06 December | 20:58
The Husker Du story is better, and I don't even know who/what that is.

She also came down with something that required a course antibiotics as a consequence, if memory serves (and it does).
posted by jokeefe 06 December | 20:58
The Husker Du story is better, and I don't even know who/what that is.

≡ Click to see image ≡

Board game designers get serious ass, dude.
posted by jonmc 06 December | 20:59
The Husker Du story is better, and I don't even know who/what that is.

I weep for today's youth.
posted by drpynchon 06 December | 21:00
The Husker Du story is better, and I don't even know who/what that is.

≡ Click to see image ≡

Board game designers get serious ass, dude.

Oh wtf jon, that's hilarious.
posted by jokeefe 06 December | 21:04
sasshat: Husker Du were one of the great underground punk-rock bands of the 1980's, out of Minneapolis, the same scene that produced my beloved Replacements. Actually, calling them "punk rock," dosen't even do them justice, even though they were punk as fuck. They'll appeal to anyone who likes well-done passionate rock and roll.

Since the bands breakup, guitarist/vocalist Bob Mould has come out, as both a homosexual and a pro wrestling enthusiast. I applaud his bravery on both counts.
posted by jonmc 06 December | 21:06
http://www.thirdav.com/hd_images/im1984xxxx_seattle.html

Well lookit the guy in the middle. Seems to ring a bell.
posted by jokeefe 06 December | 21:06
jokeefe, the board game preceeded the band, believe it or not. Dave Marsh's theory is that Bob & the boys used the game to keep busy on snowbound Minnesota afternoons.
posted by jonmc 06 December | 21:07
Ah.

The umlauts explain all.
posted by SassHat 06 December | 21:07
likes well-done passionate rock and roll.

I prefer my passionate rock and roll rare, thanks.
posted by SassHat 06 December | 21:09
jokeefe, the board game preceeded the band, believe it or not. Dave Marsh's theory is that Bob & the boys used the game to keep busy on snowbound Minnesota afternoons.

Right right right, I remember now. These facts come creaking out of memory slowly but surely... They played here in '84 I think to a crowd of about fifteen people, and despite that they were awesome. And really really loud.
posted by jokeefe 06 December | 21:14
Me, I like big R Kelly production numbers. What the fuck?
posted by box 06 December | 21:15
Also, tonight at the 7-11 on 23rd street, I bought a pack of Camel Lights Wides. Haven't seen them in awhile. Their like wonderful thick stubby tubes of nicotine.

on preview: I never got to see the Huskers live since I was underage/broke/out-of-reach of a town with a "scene," (which was to my benefit in retrospect*) during their reign, and I'm sad about that. Same with my beloved 'Mats although they did play at the Beeacon Theatre in NYC when I was living two blocks away in the (then, since gentrified) fleabag motel my school used as a dorm in those days.** I hung out outside and heard some music through the walls (cue "Juke Box Hero"). I did get to see Westerberg solo a few months back. he did some 'Mats songs but sadly not "Bastards Of Young," which he said from the stage was a song that belongs to the Replacements only, not him.

*this lack of peer group pressure allows me to hear the Ramones in Ugly Kid Joe's "Everything About You."

**we shared the building with a bunch of rent-controlled oldsters, including this ancient broad who supposedly had been a showgirl back in the Mesozoic era. She liked to roam the halls with her robe open and nothing underneath. Ruined nudity for me a while. But that trauma was nothing compared to living in the company of drama majors for 2 1/2 years. *shudder*
posted by jonmc 06 December | 21:22
I hung out outside and heard some music through the walls (cue "Juke Box Hero").

My one and only chance to see the Minutemen was ruined by some fucker at the door who wouldn't let us into the club, even though it wasn't full. We stood outside in the pouring freezing rain for about fifteen minutes before wandering off, thinking that there'd be another chance. And then D. Boon died a few months later. Damn damn damn.

Sorry, just having an 80s moment...
posted by jokeefe 06 December | 21:28
I've only seen a few dead people live. Joey and Johnny Ramone (Dee Dee was gone before I saw the Bros. *sniff*), Willie Dixon, Tito Puente, and John Lee Hooker. My sister also saw one of Brent Mydland's last shows with the Dead (she was going through a crunchy phase, she's a social worker married to a doctor (atill a resident) now).

My dad saw Danny and the Juniors once. I belive Danny later commited suicide.

*googles*

Yup. Sad.

*sings "At The Hop," in tribute*
posted by jonmc 06 December | 21:34
jonmc--not seeing the Replacements is one of the great sadnesses of my life. But I did manage to see all the Ramones.

posted by jrossi4r 06 December | 21:49
I did get to see the Stones, though. It was 1989 and they were past their prime, but still, it's the Stones. It was a great show. The lady next to me with her little boy talked abou seeing them back in '65 and how she wanted her son to see them.

The Tito Puente show was a treat, I saw him free at a street fair on Amsterdam Avenue back in '89. There was still a significant Puerto Rican population in that area pre-gentrification and they came out in force. I've never seen a mass of people undulate like that before of since.
posted by jonmc 06 December | 21:52
Camel Lights Wides

I had a summer fling with Camel Wides Unfiltered. Like sucking on an exhaust pipe.

posted by SassHat 06 December | 21:57
I had sex with Jude Law

IN MY MIND
posted by moonbird 06 December | 21:59
I had sex with Rachel ray.

IN MOONBIRD'S MIND.

mine mid was booked for a Freudian nigtmare that night. hope you didn't mind, dude
posted by jonmc 06 December | 22:01
I made out with a member of the Clash in a photo booth once, and have the pictures to prove it. I have been awaiting my five-figure offer from the National Enquirer for some time now. *taps foot*
posted by scody 06 December | 22:09
Oh, is that what that was? I had my dayplanner marked for a Jungian duologue with my lizard brain. I'd just assumed that new horny ideas had moved in upstairs.
posted by moonbird 06 December | 22:13
not to rub it in - I saw the Replacements twice. The second time I got kicked out. Some guy got kicked out right behind me, and he was really bummed. We started talking, and then I said "okay, ready to go back in?" He looked confused as I pulled out two extra tickets I was unable to sell before the show. It totally made his night. The door guys were perplexed.

jokeefe - did you know that Reyes later became Chavo Pederest? Boy did you miss out.

Scody - it was Simonon, right? right?
posted by Hellbient 06 December | 22:14
I'm glad you were all nailing stupid guys in college, whereas I get nothing.
posted by puke & cry 06 December | 22:30
Puke, you should have tried showering and putting on a little lipstick.
posted by orthogonality 06 December | 22:42
that never worked for me, orthogonality.
posted by jonmc 06 December | 22:43
I saw Husker Du in New York and the Replacements in San Francisco. Or maybe that was New York too. I don't remember.
posted by matildaben 06 December | 23:47
jokeefe - did you know that Reyes later became Chavo Pederest? Boy did you miss out.

*dies laughing*

Indeed, it seems I did.
posted by jokeefe 07 December | 00:21
I had sex with Jude Law

IN MY MIND

I saw a naked picture of Jude Law the other day on the internets (yes, a friend sent me the link, and yes, I should have thought twice before I clicked it).

And hello, matildaben.
posted by jokeefe 07 December | 00:25
I recall being quite worried when Gwyneth was overdue.
But I wanted to see Sliding Doors one more time.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium 07 December | 00:25
On the Husker tip, didn't Greg Heart come out as well? In fact, isn't that one of the main reasons Husker Du broke up was because Bob and Greg had some love thing gone wrong* in addition to their addictions/ subsequent sobriety?

*According to Mr Heart in an interview I read long ago
posted by miles 07 December | 02:07
scody wins
posted by matteo 07 December | 04:47
The Bob Mould / Grant Hart affair hasn't been confirmed as far as I know, though I'm not pursuing it as something I need to know about anyway. They sure fought like ex-lovers though. Greg Norton owns a restaurant and, despite the ill-advised mustache, is het from what I understand. They've got what looks like a decent wikipedia entry.

posted by safetyfork 07 December | 10:46
Bob Mould has come out, as both a homosexual and a pro wrestling enthusiast.


Not to quibble on what was probably a rhetorical point, but he was very out on the latter count before the band broke up.
posted by danostuporstar 07 December | 10:55
Husker Du once asked me if I wanted to play rusty trombone for them.
I said "I don't know, what is it?"
I can't remember what happened after that.
posted by Hellbient 07 December | 14:49
despite the ill-advised mustache,


Really?
posted by miles 08 December | 03:56
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