What can I say? She was radiant. I first heard about her probably a hundred miles from where she was. This is the effect this woman had on people. "You just have to take SCUBA lessons from ____." That's how it would start.

Not that I went there for her. I was heading to the island to meet friends - and ended up just missing them. Checked out a number of dive shops and, as I found out later, settled on hers. It wasn't love at first sight.

Don't get me wrong. She was beautiful. But on land, well. We seemed like any other two mostly-strangers. We chatted about Malaysia (where the shop was), Australia (where she was from) and diving. But under the surface... I still don't understand how a person can display so much charisma under water. No conversation. Only motions, smiles, gestures. It was magic. Romance on a scale that at times seemed giddily ridiculous. The problem is, she seemed to think so, too.

She was engaged to a local Malay. You could see she was thinking about the future, and I don't know how much of the hesitation I saw was there before I came along, but there certainly was a lot while I was there.

I completed my advanced course and was considering staying on for rescue, and even possibly pre-empting my trip to get my divemaster ticket, staying on for several months, working the shop. Only when I decided against this did things become clear. I mean, you never really know unless someone says the words, right? Or you get that look of disappointment when you say you're going and she knows you won't be back.

So what's your sad tale? Was it pure fantasy, or might it have had a happy ending? Who's the one who got away, and why?

Through 2002/3, I spent a good deal of time writing about the ones that got away. Two of them are here and here.

The summer of ’89 when I spent all my time snorting coke out of Julianne Moore’s ass crack… good times.

You too? I wondered who left those love bites on her cheeks.

Since Mr. Puddinghead doesn't visit here...

When I was 30 I fell madly in love for the first time. He was a bit younger, shorter, cute as a bug, and about as dumb as a stick but so nice nice nice, and really fun. I absolutely adored him- I could just STARE at him for hours. I had never had (nor never will again, I am quite sure) had a physical relationship like that. The earth moved. There were bells all around, but I'd never heard them ringing 'til there was him. But in the end he left me -I had hurt his feelings and the rift couldn't be repaired.

I can't really say that it's better to have loved (like that) and lost than never to have loved (like that) at all. The world was Technicolor for a while, and I went a little colorblind after. Sigh.

and about as dumb as a stick

THAT will have me laughing for days. I dated a strong and silent type for about five minutes in highschool/college and learned quickly that when some people say they aren't thinking anything, they mean just that.

Ah yes - I dated one too. My friend said: Still waters don't always run deep.

She's on the other side of the world again. Ten years, and we've seen each other for just a few months, all told.

At the start it was like a John Hughes movie, all back stoops and laughing late into the morning light, how am I going to make it to work on time. Who cares about work?

We fell in love and made music together. I told her I'd travel the world for her, and so I did.

Only the world I traveled to was different without her, and as I started to find myself, I knew she'd soon try the same, and somehow myself and herself were both more important than us. So we broke it off to grow, and to stave off further pain down the road.

Five years later I met her again and it was clear we were still made for each other. Try loving someone in the back of your mind for five years, then meeting her. Electrifying.

Alas, neither of us were ready to sacrifice what we'd found of ourselves over five years apart, and both of us were convinced that our love would demand that sacrifice.

So we spun off on our own again, now for three years. And this time I knew she was the one that got away.

She eventually moved to a city near me, and I met her again, and we both started to realize how much we missed each other. How we don't stop smiling around each other. How well we fit together. How well we talked. And things started getting serious again.

She was tired of being in this nearby city, and looking for a change. I clearly saw my mission. Get her to move up to NYC, pursue her goals here, we could be together, hell, even forever. Great plan.

But then she got a job offer overseas that she couldn't refuse. And when she told me about it, I realized she was right. Awesome job offer: prestige and pay for something she loves doing. Change of mission.

All I have to do now is give in to my inner cosmpolitan jet-setter and spend time between two cities, two worlds. All I really need to do is go see her again. Now that I know who I am, I'm not so worried about losing myself to us.

So is she the one that got away? Yup. Got away forever? I hope not. I'm working on it.

And dg, yes, I was dreaming yesterday. About her. About falling asleep with my lips on hers.

I could dream all day.

I too have had my "beautiful...but dumb!" boy. I might have kept him, if only he'd learned to not talk...poor thing, he would open his mouth and the inane level would go through the roof. Bless his tall, dark, stupid, heart.

It's a story over 10 years, really.
When I was 20, one of my college friends decided that her old school bud would be perfect for me. He was. She and I went to her home town and went out with a group of her school friends. I met the boy and we were in bed that night. I loved everything about him, intelligence, humour, he was easy going and played the guitar and his friends loved him. He was also pretty damned hot, and the sex was great. Unfortunately, we lived 5 hours from each other, and neither of us were(are) very good at long distance stuff. So for years, we kept it casual, traveling back and forth every few months, seeing other people (casually) at the same time.
Then we both met someone within a few months of each other and it stopped just like that. We stayed good friends though.
Never, in the years that we hooked up and talked every day and hung out did we tell each other how we felt. After we had broke up with our sig. others, years later, he wrote me this long long letter about how he had always loved me and didn't think that I felt the same way at the time and how he was sorry that he never got the courage to say so. So he had no idea I felt the same way. I cried and cried when I got that letter. But... I was planning on leaving the country in a year, and I don't think it wouldn't have been a good idea to start a relationship.

I left NZ, so did he, and I met my husband, he met his wife. We remain close close friends - attended each others weddings etc (both in the last year.) So he's the one that got away, romantically, but he never really got away at all. For that I'm very glad.