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01 December 2005
Children's stories that scar for life... Inspired by this metafilter discussion, I ask: What kids' books and shows are the most likely to scar for life?
Quite honestly, you'd have to read them to believe how truly horrific they are. I still can not sleep with my hand propped up into the air. Terribly damaging childhood religious programming in those books, dammit.
The Little Match Girl. That story took a crap on my childhood. It never occured to me that I could be left alone to freeze to death. Thanks, Hans Christian Andersen.
Oh, and I couldn't watch "The Wizard of Oz" all the way through for the longest time, because of those flying monkeys. Of course, now I think they're kinda cool. With an army of flying monkeys, I could really get some stuff done.
They showed us that movie in 2nd grade. The part where the boy eats the chocolate and turns into a mouse frightens me TO THIS DAY. And it's been over 15 years.
The Little Mermaid really creeped me out the first time I read it. I must have been about 6. It was the water weed tentacles with all the skeletons in them. Brrr.
Lidsville looks really creepy.
I watched Stuart Little recently. When I read it, adopting a mouse seemed cute and funny. The movie really brings home that its demented.
Old Yeller [boy shoots his own dog]
Bambi [child projects self onto Bambi, Bambi's mom dies, child thinks its mom is going to die soon]
Where the Red Fern Grows [Boy is saved by his dogs that he worked so goddamn hard for, dogs die]Sounder [really old beat-up dog that dies]
Fairy and folk tales never scared me for some reason, but books and movies that spend quite a bit of time getting a kid all attached to things that kids like [dogs and moms] and then killing those things in sundry ways make me cry to this very day.
My dad bought me a book once when I was a kid, which was an unusual thing for him to do. He grinned at me and told me I'd love it.
It was a lavishly illustrated poem. An Australian poem (if you can believe such a device exists). It was called The Man From Ironbark.
You can probably Google the poem however here's a summary: country yokel goes to the city. yokel doesn't much care for the city. yokel decides to go to a barbers and have a shave. barber decides to play a joke on the yokel. barber makes his cut-throat razor scalding hot and draws blunt edge across yokels throat. yokel thinks he's done for. yokel holds throat while simultaneously going ape-shit and beating the fuck out of everyone within sight. fight gets broken up by a policeman. yokel goes back home and boasts of his exploits.
Sound like suitable reading for a seven year old? Not really.
As soon as we got to the throat slitting bit I was in tears and couldn't go on. My dad tried to convince me that if we went on it'd all be alright. I was having none of it. The book went on the shelf and was never heard of again.
I still have the book - it's actually pretty funny.
That is really funny! I figure that's why dads are so cool. My dad was always reading us inappropriate stuff- nothing terrible (lots of Robert Service) but nothing my mom would have picked out. Also, he did all the voices and stopped at the scary parts of books when it was time to go to sleep, which undermined their effectiveness as bedtime stories.