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18 November 2005

WE ARE OVERDUE FOR A SHOUTING THREAD! →[More:]

I AM EXTREMELY IRRITABLE (PMS) AND LONELY. I SMOKE TOO MUCH. I AM NOT GOOD ABOUT KEEPING UP MY CORRESPONDENCES WITH MY LOVED ONES, AND FEEL VERY GUILTY AND SAD ABOUT THAT. MY BEST FRIEND IS NON-PRESENT. I AM HAVING TROUBLE LETTING GO OF MY EX BOYFRIEND. I'M A SLACKER AT WORK AND KEEP MISSING DEADLINES. I'M OUT OF SHAPE. MY EYES ARE PUFFY AND I FEEL UNATTRACTIVE. DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!
post by: Specklet at: 15:12 | 75 comments
I'VE DECIDED TO QUIT CUSSING COLD TURKEY! THIS IS GONNA BE HARD!
posted by selfnoise 18 November | 15:21
MY WIFE ISN'T PREGNANT! I KNOW THIS BECAUSE SHE IS EXTREMELY IRRITABLE (PMS) ABOUT BEING LATE!
posted by danostuporstar 18 November | 15:24
I'm afraid I cannuh yell because my head hurts from too much loudness at work but c'mere and I'll tell you a leettle secret: I think you're just the bee's knees, Speckletina, through and through. And you're dead stop beautiful and smell yummy and you let me bury my nose in your neck just to be sure so you're super extra awesome.

Ok, byyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee!!
posted by Frisbee Girl 18 November | 15:24
I NEED A NAP!!!!!
posted by bunnyfire 18 November | 15:30
ME TOO! I INSIST THAT ANY AND ALL IMPEDIMENTS TO ME TAKING A NAP GO CRAP UP A ROPE!
posted by Divine_Wino 18 November | 15:31
WOW, I LIKE FRIS SO MUCH! SHE MAKES ME FEEL NICE! I WISH SHE WOULD VISIT PORTLAND SOON!
posted by Specklet 18 November | 15:34
IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW! WINTER IS HERE! Damnitall.

p.s.: Hey, Specklet-- I sent you an email (to your hotmail account) a few weeks ago-- did it reach you?
posted by Fuzzy Monster 18 November | 15:34
I'm sorry I'm not yelling, but it's because I finally feel good again. The world is righting itself, and me along with it.

I had a great lunch, and I plan to spend a fruitful afternoon at work doing jack shit.

I will yell about one thing, though: I LOVE YOU, SPECKLET! IF I COULD, I'D WRAP YOU UP IN A BIG HUGH JANUS EMBRACE AND WE'D TRAIPSE OFF INTO THE TWILIGHT, NOT GIVING A SHIT ABOUT "RESPONSIBILITIES" OR "DEADLINES," GRINNING LIKE DEVILS HOPPING THE FENCE TO A WAYLON SHOW IN HEAVEN!

You're really pretty, Specklet, but that's not half of what makes you so beautiful.

Smile it up, baby.
posted by Hugh Janus 18 November | 15:37
MY BOYFRIENDS MOTHER IS A COMPLETE CRAZY BITCH AND SHE MAKES MY LIFE MISERABLE. WHEN I STARTED DATING HIM HE HATED THEM AND I ENCOURAGED HIM TO HAVE A HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM AND NOW I AM SORRY I EVER SAID ANYTHING TO BEGIN WITH.

I HAVE BEEN MISERABLE FOR SIX MONTHS AND I CAN'T EVEN FIGURE OUT HOW TO FEEL BETTER ANYMORE. I STARTED SMOKING AGAIN AND IT IS THE ONLY THING THAT SEEMS TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

I JUST WANT TO GO HOME PUT ON FLANNEL PAJAMAS AND CURL UP IN MY BED WITH MY DOG AND HIDE UNDER MY DOWN BLANKET AND CRY.

"NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME!!!!"

(Phewwww, now I feel a little better.)
posted by Lola_G 18 November | 15:38
I AM GRUMPY BECAUSE I HAVEN'T HAD ANY COFFEE TODAY! MY BOSS IS PISSED AT ME BECAUSE I'M A COUPLE OF DAYS BEHIND ON A PROJECT. MY HUSBAND IS JUST GENERALLY GRUMPY BECAUSE HE'S BEEN WORKING INSANELY LONG HOURS AND DOESN'T GET TO HANG OUT. ALL IN ALL, I'M GLAD THE WEEK IS OVER.
posted by gaspode 18 November | 15:38
FUCK I THINK I JUST FUCKED UP OUR RELATIVELY NEW TREADMILL!! ANYONE KNOW HOW TO GET SILICONE OFF THE RUBBER BELT?

I LIKE SPECKLET TOO, BUT HAVE NEVER MET HER.
posted by tr33hggr 18 November | 15:39
I AM FIGHTING OFF LONELY BIRTHDAY DEPRESSION BUT I ALREADY STARTED A THREAD SORT OF ABOUT THAT. I, TOO, THINK SPECKY IS THE CATS PAJAMAS. AND I WANT TO HEAR BUNNYFIRE'S MUSICAL EXTRAVAGANZA. LOLA IS ALSO A TOTALLY COOL NAME AND THE BEST RESTAURANT IN CLEVELAND.
posted by sciurus 18 November | 15:41
Aw Specklet, you need some gaspode shmooses. I'm very cuddly, y'know.
posted by gaspode 18 November | 15:44
I HAVE A CRUSH ON A COWORKER AND I AM PRETTY SURE HE ALSO LIKES ME!!!! THANK YOU METACHAT, YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME HOW TO FLIRT, AND IT WORKS!

ALSO, SPECKLET, THINK OF SOFT FLUFFY BUNNIES. :)
posted by kellydamnit 18 November | 15:50
"BIG HUGH JANUS EMBRACE" is redundant, fucko.
posted by Sick Duck 18 November | 15:51
FUCK YOU, SICK DUCK!
posted by Hugh Janus 18 November | 15:53
Psst! Speck, keep wishing that wish. I'm trying to work some scheduling magic because I'm a bit homesick for Portland right now. Will keep you posted. Plus, you and I have birfdays to celebrate. Sweet!
posted by Frisbee Girl 18 November | 15:53
DARN I'M SO UNPRODUCTIVE TODAY! AND HUNGOVER! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCIURUS!
posted by Uncle Glendinning 18 November | 15:54
Hugh, back the fuck off the duck or I slice your hand off.
posted by Groo the Wanderer 18 November | 15:55
WHAT YOU GOT, GROO? HUH, WHAT YOU GOT? I SAID, ROLL UP, BITCH! BRING IT!
posted by Hugh Janus 18 November | 15:56
≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by Groo the Wanderer 18 November | 15:57
*rattles chains, readies the brass knuckles*
posted by tr33hggr 18 November | 15:57
Sciurus, if I could, I would come hang out with you for your birthday. What is some super indulgent thing you can do for yourself?

I heard somewhere the Heidi Fleiss is opening up a brothel!
posted by Lola_G 18 November | 15:57
Okay, okay, Groo, chill. CHILL!

I just wanna be friends.
posted by Hugh Janus 18 November | 15:59
Sick Duck is one sick duck. You might be looking at the inside of a confit if you aren't careful, duck ass mofo.
posted by Divine_Wino 18 November | 16:03
WHO DARES MAKE MY IMAGE UNAVALABLE? I'LL CRAWL OUT OF YOUR COMPUTER IF I HAVE TO!

≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by Groo the Wanderer 18 November | 16:05
I AM A BIT QUEASY AND I HATE BEING QUEASY BUT I JUST AGAIN STARTED TAKING MEDICATION THAT MAKES ME QUEASY SO I GUESS I'M JUST GOING TO BE QUEASY FOR A WHILE, DAMMIT!

ALSO, I LOVE THE SPECKLET! YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT??

*thinks about specklet's back, leers*
posted by mudpuppie 18 November | 16:05
I THINK IT IS A BROTHEL FOR WOMEN BY WOMEN, LIKE THE LIFETIME CHANNEL OR SOMESUCH. I AM NOW CHEERED BY THE FACT THAT NO MATTER HOW BUMMED I GET, I WILL STILL NEVER BE A LIFETIME CHANNEL MOVIE.
posted by sciurus 18 November | 16:06
IF YOU MARRY SOMEONE WHO IS SECRETLY ALREADY MARRIED WITH ANOTHER FAMILY, THEN KILL HIM WHEN YOU DISCOVER HIM CHEATING ON YOU WITH YOUR SISTER, AFTER FINDING OUT YOU HAVE BREAST CANCER, WHILE TRYING DESPERATELY TO FIND YOUR DAUGHTER WHO RAN AWAY WITH HER GOOD FOR NOTHING OLDER BOYFRIEND AND IS NOW PREGNANT THEN YOU CAN BE A LIFETIME MOVIE.
posted by kellydamnit 18 November | 16:11
I LIKE THE YELLING THREAD. MY PARTNER AND I ARE FLYING TO NYC SUNDAY FOR OUR HONEYMOON AND IT IS LOOKING LIKE WE WILL BOTH HAVE OUR PERIODS. OH GOODIE. I THOUGHT ABOUT TOASTING WITH THE NYC MECHA CONTINGENT BUT I AM A SEVERE LIGHTWEIGHT AND OLD. YOU GUYS SCARE ME!!!!!!

ALL THOSE NEEDING THE FLANNEL JAMMIE/BLANKET/CHOCOLATE AND-OR ALCOHOL ROUTINE, NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT!!!

LOVE,
YOGALITUDE
posted by chewatadistance 18 November | 16:12
MY DOG WON'T STOP BARKING AT THE NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS, MY SON IS CRANKY, MY MOTHER IS HAVING ONE OF HER BAD DAYS, AND IT'S SO COLD IN THE HOUSE MY HANDS ACHE! THE COMBINED MENTAL STRESS SUCKS OUT ANY CREATIVITY I HAVE.

But I'm less !!!! and more :( or maybe just :| about the whole day. A warm blanket and an hour of silence with a cup of coffee might actually make everything better.
posted by FunkyHelix 18 November | 16:13
OH AND SPECKLET, I BURST INTO TEARS IN THE PUB LAST NIGHT WITH MY SWEETIE B/C OUR BELOVED YELLOW LAB TURNS 14 ON DEC 10 AND I'M WORRIED SOMETHING WILL GO WRONG WITH HER HEALTH WHILE WE ARE AWAY. SHE LOOKED AT ME CONCERNEDLY AND SAID, ARE YOU PMSING? TO WHICH I SOBBED, "YES!!!" INTO MY BLACK & TAN.
posted by chewatadistance 18 November | 16:14
THE NEIGHBORS' CAT JUST MATERIALIZED IN MY APARTMENT AND I WAS SO STARTLED I SHOUTED!!!
posted by Fuzzy Monster 18 November | 16:25
I AM HUNGOVER AND HAVE TO WORK A DOUBLE TODAY (12 HOURS)...I AM FURIOUS THAT I DO NOT GET TO SEE MY EX WHEN SHE VISITS STL FOR THANKSGIVING. I AM ALSO SIMULTANEOUSLY CRUSHING ON TWO PEOPLE...ONE BOY, ONE GIRL...I AM ALSO TRYING TO SALVAGE A FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE I JUST BROKE THINGS OFF WITH...

BASICALLY I AM GOING INSANE AND AM DRINKING TOO MUCH TO COMPENSATE...

I would love to snuggle with specklet...
posted by Schyler523 18 November | 16:29
My dog is 14. The thought makes me want to cry right now and I don't even have a black and tan.

/whining.
posted by Lola_G 18 November | 16:29
I THINK IT IS A BROTHEL FOR WOMEN BY WOMEN, LIKE THE LIFETIME CHANNEL OR SOMESUCH. I AM NOW CHEERED BY THE FACT THAT NO MATTER HOW BUMMED I GET, I WILL STILL NEVER BE A LIFETIME CHANNEL MOVIE.
posted by sciurus 18 November | 16:31
With this lovefest, here is a picture from last night of Gaspode and I getting to the "have a bisexual encounter" stage of drunkness.

≡ Click to see image ≡
posted by Lola_G 18 November | 16:34
HA!

I AM GETTING READY TO HAVE A BISEXUAL ENCOUNTER WITH THE SONG "DOPER SKILLER" BY VIKTOR VAUGHN FEAT. KOOL KEITH, IN THE SENSE THAT REGARDLESS OF WHAT SEX THAT SONG WOULD BE IF IT WAS A PERSON I WOULD BONE IT SENSELESS FOR BEING SO GOOD.


posted by Divine_Wino 18 November | 16:37
Oh we are pretty, lola. hee.
posted by gaspode 18 November | 16:41
I'm getting ready to have a bisexual encounter with some quince jelly and a wood duck hen with the longest clitoris I've ever seen. It's three inches longer than mine!

Do ducks even have clits?
posted by Sick Duck 18 November | 16:44
GOODNIGHT YELLERS, I AM GOING HOME TO TAKE THE KID TO SEE THE HARRY POTTER. I HEARD THERE WAS MAD SWEARS, SO THAT'S LOOKING GOOD FOR ME.

YOU ARE ALL TERRIBLY LOVELY PEOPLE AND I HOPE YOU NEVER GROW UP!
posted by Divine_Wino 18 November | 16:45
You are one sick duck.
posted by Lola_G 18 November | 16:48
Do ducks even have clits?

You should ask the big fat lead singer from Canned Heat.
posted by danostuporstar 18 November | 16:56
YOU ALL ARE VERY NICE, AND I THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS! SERIOUSLY, YOU MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. BLESSINGS TO ALL. AND KISSES WITH TONGUE TO SOME.

FUZZY MONSTER, I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND I TOTALLY FORGOT TO WRITE YOU BACK! I'M SORRY! YES, YOU CAN USE THE PICTURE, BUT IT'S NOT MINE, I FOUND IT ONLINE. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T BE POSTING NON-MINE PICS ON MY FLICKR ACCOUNT, EH?

DUCKS HAVE INTERNAL GENITALIA, SO THE CHANCES OF A DUCK CLIT ARE SLIM.
posted by Specklet 18 November | 16:59
COME OVER HERE, SPECKLET! I WILL WRAP YOU IN a COMFY BLANKIE AND LIGHT A FIRE AND HAVE MY KID SAY, "I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY, MISS SPECKLET" ON AN HOURLY BASIS.

In quieter news--This weekend I have:
--a formal banquet for my husband's company.
--"Thanksgiving Dinner" with the inlaws. (They will be spending actual Thanksgiving with their church friends. We are not invited, as we are hell-spawn.)
--a birthday party for my 4yo niece.

Lots of activities! All involve "best behavior" and very little (if any)booze. None are enjoyable.
posted by jrossi4r 18 November | 17:14
A bird has a cloaca, not a clitoris.

Ah, the clitoris. *reminisces*
posted by sciurus 18 November | 17:35
Speckletina!
posted by matteo 18 November | 17:42
I really like you guys. Y'all are much more fun to talk to than a board I run that is populated with a squabbly ass fucknut I can't stand. ((((group hug))))
posted by chewatadistance 18 November | 17:46
yoga, I hope you have fun in NYC, and if you feel like grabbing a drink, we are nice people in real life too.
posted by gaspode 18 November | 17:49
NOT ENOUGH SHOUTING AND YELLING. MORE SHOUTING AND YELLING PLEASE.
posted by loquacious 18 November | 18:03
I HATE ALL UTILITY COMPANIES! RELIANT SUCKS! CENTERPOINT ENERGY SUCKS! TIME WARNER CABLE SUCKS! THE CITY OF HOUSTON WATER DEPARTMENT DOESN'T SUCK BUT THEY STILL MAKE ME MAD WITH HOLD TIMES. I! HATE! UTILITY! COMPANIES!
posted by WolfDaddy 18 November | 18:17
MY OFFICE CRUSH JUST EMAILED ME FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!

EEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!ELEVENTYONE!!!!!!!!


ALSO, ADELPHIA CABLE IS ALSO THE SUCK.
posted by kellydamnit 18 November | 18:20
YAY KELLY!

are you still at work?
posted by sciurus 18 November | 18:26
WOOOO KELLY! WOOOOOO!
posted by Specklet 18 November | 18:30
(yep, I work "west coast hours," despite being physically located on the east coast.)

If he gets done with everything in time I'm asking him out for a beer! (since he invited me last time! AND THEN HE KISSED ME WHEN HE DROPPED ME OFF, BUT SINCE THEN IT HAS BEEN THE UNDISCUSSED ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM)

BEST WORK WEEK EVER!
posted by kellydamnit 18 November | 18:31
HE KISSED YOU EEEEEEE OMGOMG!
posted by Specklet 18 November | 18:34
I KNOW! I KNOW!! BUT I THINK HE IS WORRIED SINCE I'M WAAAY YOUNGER (12 YEARS) AND I WAS FAR MORE TIPSY THAN HE. SO I AM BEING SUPER FLIRTY WHILE SOBER SO HE KNOWS IT WAS COOL.
posted by kellydamnit 18 November | 18:43
YAY KELLY! WORK THAT ELEPHANT! I HOPE YOU GET HIM.

I HATE PEOPLE WHO PUT ON ATTITUDES AND PRETEND LIKE GRAD SCHOOL IS THE GREATEST THING EVER AND THEY RUN THE WORLD JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE EYE CONTACT WITH A NOBEL PRIZE WINNER YESTERDAY. LAST NIGHT I WENT DRINKING AND DID NOTHING BUT SLAM SCHOOL WHICH MADE ME FEEL WORSE AFTERWARDS, THOUGH I TRIED TO DENY IT.

I SAW SNOW FALL FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS WEEK. TODAY A SNOWFLAKE FELL ON MY SHOULDER. IT LOOKED LIKE THEY DO IN DRAWINGS AND IT WAS CHUBBY. AWW!
posted by halonine 18 November | 18:45
I LOVE THE FIRST SNOW.
BUT IN THREE DAYS I WILL BE BITCHING ABOUT SNOW FROM THE TIME I WAKE UP TO THE TIME I FALL ASLEEP.

I AM SO NERVOUS I COULD VOMIT.

BUT I WILL NOT BECAUSE THAT WOULD NOT HELP ME FLIRT.
posted by kellydamnit 18 November | 18:50
WAY TO GO, WALRUS! NOW YOU HAVE THE CLEANEST WIGS!!!
posted by Specklet 18 November | 18:54
AND THE CRUSH JUST CALLED TO OFFER ME A RIDE HOME!!!

*FAINTS*
posted by kellydamnit 18 November | 19:24
YAY YAY YAY FOR KELLYDAMNIT!!!!!

posted by gaspode 18 November | 19:27
GAAAAAH THAT'S SO EXCITING!

WILL YOU ASK HIM TO GRAB A BEER WITH YOU ON THE WAY HOME?
posted by Specklet 18 November | 19:28
I HAVE TO GO NOW!

HAVE GOOD WEEKENDS, ALL. MMMMMWAH!
posted by Specklet 18 November | 19:39
I AM TOTALLY GOING TO ASK HIM TO GET A BEER WITH ME! AND THEN I WILL BE ALL "YOU KISSED ME, I'M SO OBVIOUSLY INTO YOU, WHAT'S THE DEAL?" BUT THAT MAY TAKE MULTIPLE BEERS.

AND NOW I GO. EVERYONE HAVE A FANTABULOUS FRIDAY!
posted by kellydamnit 18 November | 19:47
MY TUMMY HURTS
posted by deborah 18 November | 20:08
I HAVE A BIG FUCKING HEADACHE.

Oooooh, that feels much better.
posted by puddinghead 18 November | 21:43
TONIGHT IS MY BELOVED'S BIRTHDAY AND WHERE AM I? WHY, HERE AT WORK, OF COURSE! GRRRRRRRRR...

However, all is not lost. On tap for tomorrow: gardening, taking the dog to the park, going out for a nice dinner and then seeing Kinski.
posted by bmarkey 18 November | 22:09
my computer died, and now I have use someone else's which makes me irritable

and I wish I had a dog...

and an oven... I miss baking...

and something which could go back in time and prevent my ears from ever hearing the words *my humps* or *lovely lady-lumps*
posted by MightyNez 18 November | 22:55
AND I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO YELL, BECAUSE THIS IS A SHOUTING THREAD, NOT A MOPING/WHINING THREAD, ne?
posted by MightyNez 18 November | 22:57
WE WENT FOR DRINKS!!!! HE ASKED ME BEFORE I COULD ASK HIM!!!
HE CALLED ME SWEETNEART AND GAVE ME A HUG. HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY LEG!

HE LEFT EARLY SO HE COULD GO OUT WITH ME, EVEN THOUGH HE NOW HAS TO GO IN TOMORROW!!

ONE OF MY GUY FRIENDS STOPPED BY TO CHECK IT OUT AND SAID "HE IS SO INTO YOU!!"

I AM NOW BOTH DRUNK AND COMPLETELY SMITTEN!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
posted by kellydamnit 19 November | 00:30
ALL HAIL THE SMITTEN KITTEN!
posted by bmarkey 19 November | 00:54
WOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOO!
posted by puddinghead 19 November | 01:52
now my head hurts...
posted by dabitch 19 November | 07:40
THAT'S SO FREAKIN' COOL, KELLYDAMMIT!
posted by deborah 19 November | 13:26
← Cream of sweet potato soup = yum. || AskMeCha: Is copy editing as awesome as it sounds? →

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