PPS, No I meant safty, not safety, I am trying to phase out superfluous e's and bring back Kirilian Phrenology.

Again, I will hlp you in your worthwhil ndavor!

Down with th lttr that coms aftr d!
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My newsletter only costs 10.00 to subscribe to! It's all about getting people to read your emails! Learn how to write convincing subject lines in your spam emails so that people will open them!
Learn from a master! (that's me)
Free tip: Exclamation points are your friend!

The right way to craft a convincing subject line:

Hi, it's me again!
Free iPod!
Sorry it took me so long to get back to you!
Here's that thing I told you about!
Hot teenage sluts!!
I left my panties at your place....help!
Here's the naked photo of me that you asked for!


The wrong way:

Want to buy a stolen Rolex?
I'm selling Viagra.
Hello, I am from Nigeria.
Do you need a m-o-r-t-g-a-g-e?
Are your sewers backed up?
Would you like to add an inch to your penis?


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Perhaps I should start a newsletter, all xeroxed and about our holiday trip to Amish country.

Where would you get a Xerox machine in the Amish country?

The Amish have Xeroxs, don't believe the hype. As soon as there aren't any "English" around they're photoblogging and zooming around on their segways with the best of them.

I used to write a fake newsletter for my dorm. it was the most foulmouthed rag most people had ever seen. good times good times. it ended up in the urinal often, so one issue featured a bullseye they could aim for.

What? Nobody's said "I find your views interesting and wish to subscribe to your newsletter" yet?

Or should that be: "I find your viws intrsting and wish to subscrib to your nwslttr"?