I know it's pathetic but outside my family you retards are the closest thing I have to friends. Sorry.

I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say, but my thoughts are with you.

I haven't the slightest idea what you should 'do' as I'm unsure of the context of the question.

Hurt, grieve, talk, heal, etc. There's a ton of support here. But, regardless, I'm terribly, terribly sorry, mr t.

I'm so sorry. Having been there, I have to tell you that there isn't anything much you can do, aside from being sad, being angry, refusing to believe it, getting angry again, getting sad again, and so on. Unfortunately you have to go through all that, and you have to do it over and over and over again, until eventually you slowly begin to feel better. If you try not to feel it, or feel anything, it will come back and bite you badly on the ass later. Now is the time to grieve and mourn and remember your aunt, and you need to allow yourself the space and time to do that. It's going to hurt, but it needs to.

It helps to keep busy, it helps to do something to remember your aunt. I have made reliquaries for dead friends and dead pets; that helped, a little. You can try drinking - I carried a bottle of Wild Turkey around for several weeks after my father died, and that helped a little too. So did black coffee, and cigarettes, and old photo albums.

It takes a long time before you will begin to feel better, but you will, and you'll be able to stop crying eventually. And you can then remember your aunt as she would have wanted to be remembered -

Once a friend of mine and I took our dead friend Rick out on a bar crawl in Baltimore. We took a little bottle of his ashes from bar to bar, ordered him a Natty Boh, lit a Marlboro in front of him and told the bartenders what we were doing. They all knew him and they all bought him a beer. We ended up getting really really drunk and losing Rick, and that is exactly, but exactly, how he would have wanted it to happen. I've always hoped some girl took him home, one last time.

And, for the love of Sweet Jesus, please listen to mgl. Words of salty wisdom rarely come as beautifully direct as they do from her.

Thank you. I cooked and we all drank a bit. We did talk... a lot, but what was funny was that my Aunt was disabled, hit by a stroke many years ago that left her ability to speak very limited.

She is important to my life because she taught me that all people deserve respect and consideration starting with taking the time to listen................................... .................some........................................................times....... ...............................................................................it............... ................................................................................................ ..takes...................................................................................... ................some....................................................................pe ople......................................................................................... ...........longer...................................................................to...... ................................................................................................ .............say...............................................................................

the same thing.

This will sound ridiculous, probably, but the closest thing I've ever had to a death in the family is a girlfriend cheating on me.

No one I've ever really cared about has ever died--my family is totally not one of those "extended family" kind of families, so I don't have any experience at all with death. The closest experience I have to yours is a girlfriend cheating on me, and I was miserable and wanted to die.

I know I'm lucky.

So, what I did was to watch lots of horror movies. I rented all the scariest movies I could find, and watched them alone and with headphones, in the dark. They were a fantastic distraction.

...oh, and also, I'm naked right now.

?!? p;z .gga!

?!? p;z .gga!

Wha?

dude:?!? p;z

Just trying to make your day better, mr t.

I'm so sorry mr t. I don't think there's too much to do, except everything mygothlaundry said. Be gentle to yourself for the next while, whatever you end up doing. (as in crying's okay and not crying's also okay. Staring at the walls for hours is okay and so is going out partying.)

When someone close to me died he was someone close everyone around me. There was no one to talk to because everyone was going through the same thing. An online group of friends would have been helpful.

Thank you all, I really do appreciate your words. I'm just going to stumble off, so...

*strident cries from stage left*.

Maybe you can choose to do something in her memory... it could take almost any form. Pick something you are good at or like to do, and create something for/about her. It could be art, a photo album or online gallery, a song you write, a mixtape, a memorial site, time spent volunteering for a cause, a memory book, a poem, a piece of furniture you make...

Do something that both distracts you, yet also focuses on her, and take your time with it. But it might be a bit early to jump into something... Just see how you feel. I wish you the best, mr t.

I'm sorry for your loss mr t. Don't let anyone tell you that the way you're grieving is wrong. It's no one's business but your own. And I've found the pain never lessens - you just get used to it.

Take it at your pace, mr t. Warm thoughts your way.

My condolences, mr t. Definitely be gentle to yourself and let yourself mourn however you need to. But don't be self-destructive. There is a good book called The Grief Recovery Handbook, by John W. James and Russell Friedman. I recommend it.

I have buried many friends over the years and the way that we usually deal with this is to get everyone together after the funeral and get falling-down drunk while talking for hours about all the good times that we shared with that person. In the old days they called that a wake. Not sure if that helps.

I'm sure I copied it from somewhere, but I have always taken the view that the funeral is to mark the passing of the person and the wake is to celebrate their living. Not sure if that helps, either, but the important thing is not to dwell on the fact that they died, but remember that they lived.

*hugs mr. t.*
Nothing you can do other than whatever you need to do to get through it. It does get better, though. I promise.