MetaChat - TOMORROW (the future)

shouldn't i have a mortgage and a fiancee and a fast car and a receeding hairline and so on?

i fully expect someone to slap one of those vogue MISSION: NOTHING ACCOMPLISHED bumperstickers that i keep seeing on everyone's passat station wagons on my bottom when i'm not looking.

i hate all of you and your passats, by the way. you passat-drivers, you. everyone else: we're cool.

posted by sam 30 October | 22:27

Boo Hoo, junior. In just over a month, I'll be thirty five. Now, get offa my lawn!

And Happy Birthday.

posted by jonmc 30 October | 22:28

what are the cheap meals at IHOP like, jon?

posted by sam 30 October | 22:29

Hush up, whippersnapper!!!

posted by jrossi4r 30 October | 22:29

what are the cheap meals at IHOP like, jon?

Lumpy. They put 'em in a blender for us geezers, but the damn cooks keep getting the setting wrong.

posted by jonmc 30 October | 22:31

Aw, poor thing...turning 25. I feel for ya, kid.

posted by iconomy 30 October | 22:42

I was terrified when I turned twenty-five. But I compromised by getting my butt in gear somewhat (you know, make some goals) and by deciding to believe all those people who say your thirties are better than your twenties. Also, twenty-eight is one of the hottest ages for men--you have that to look forward to.

posted by dame 30 October | 22:47

Also, twenty-eight is one of the hottest ages for men

Really? I was hot seven years ago and didn't know it? Why dosen't anyone tell me these things until it's too late?

I compromised by getting my butt in gear somewhat (you know, make some goals)

Goals are overrated, unless of course, you're Wayne Gretzky. If you don't make goals, you don't have to worry about failure. It's a beautiful thing. Just orry about survival and fun.

posted by jonmc 30 October | 22:50

I think we have established that I am far more ~~afraid of failure~~ ~~afraid of being ordinary~~ ambitous than you, dear.

posted by dame 30 October | 22:56

Oh, you poor little sod. Hope you have a shitty birthday.

And turn that infernal music down!

mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble

posted by dg 30 October | 22:58

My mom often half-mournfully/half-affectionately mentions my lack of ambition. Ambitious people (in general, not talking about you) scare the hell out of me. I always wonder what they'd do to someone who came between them and their desires.

I dunno, my priorities are different. I just wan to go through life, hear as many peoples stories as possible and have fun doing it, and maybe make an interesting story of my own. Once, I thought I could be the author of great literature, nowadays I'd be satisfied to be a minor character in some.

posted by jonmc 30 October | 23:01

I always wonder what they'd do to someone who came between them and their desires.

Uh, yeah. It would be ugly. Let's not think about that.

I dunno, my priorities are different.

Okay, sam, there you have it. You must decide whether you will be ambitious or not. Then set goals or do not according to your decision. It is nonrevocable and you must make it before the sun sets on your bithday. Go!

posted by dame 30 October | 23:03

that's the only reason people'll ever do anything, anyway. just for the stories to tell.

posted by sam 30 October | 23:04

Nah. There's personal satisfaction. I mostly find the notion of telling stories a comfort when really bad/annoying things are happening.

posted by dame 30 October | 23:06

sam, tomorrow, you will become half MY age (in years; it'll take another month before you become exactly half my age) - if I ever meet you in real life, you're getting a spanking.

posted by wendell 30 October | 23:07

My favorite blues lyrics, coutesy of Robert Johnson:

"When I leave this town,
I'm gonna bid you fare...farewell
And when I return again
you'll have a great long story to tell.."

Material rewards and self-satisfaction are fleeting. As individuals and as a society, stories, be they historical or myth, are all we have.

posted by jonmc 30 October | 23:09

BTW, ages are NEVER rounded UP, only DOWN. So not only am I going to spank you 25 times, I'm going to force you to watch old tapes of Jack Benny, who claimed to be 39 continuously until he died at 78.

posted by wendell 30 October | 23:09

Oh, and based on your whining, you will get NO hip replacement, because YOU WERE NEVER HIP.

posted by wendell 30 October | 23:10

Also, as a record geek, I'm obliged to tell you that aman's best ages are 33 1/3, 45, and 78.

(some of the young uns wont get that)

posted by jonmc 30 October | 23:12

sam's a penname and it weirds me out when people direct adress me by it. i've used it for a couple of years for stuff, but it's still weird.
i have multi-ambitions. i suffer from ambition. i ambite to have a big old ranch with horses somewhere that's it's just miserable hot in the summer and bitter cold in the winter. also: whiskey, boats, lots and lots and lots of bookshelves. build electronics in the basement.
thank god i don't, however, suffer from the kind of thing that makes people think it's important to get to their ambitions. what's the point of crossing stuff off a list? then your list of interesting things is all messed up. i have always been an in media res sort: i'll come and go in the middle and never be bothered by ever really starting or finishing anything.

"
sam, [...] if I ever meet you in real life, you're getting a spanking.
posted by wendell 30 October | 23:07
"

thanks & all and i'm flattered but i'm also: spoken for.

anyway, to makr the passage of my first quarter century i have resolved (1) to leave my current line of work and find a new one. top choices right now are cowboy, lawyer, cowboy-lawyer, and chimney sweep, depending on how the lsat's go. also resolved: (2) invent new, delicious kind of sandwich.

posted by sam 30 October | 23:12

Also, as a record geek, I'm obliged to tell you that aman's best ages are 33 1/3, 45, and 78.

And 16.

posted by box 30 October | 23:13

Everything is fleeting, jon. The pleasures of ambition is there is always more work to be done and more satisfaction to be had.

posted by dame 30 October | 23:15

also resolved: (2) invent new, delicious kind of sandwich.

I think that's the most important. Please make sure it has a veggie version, kay?

posted by dame 30 October | 23:17

well, any truly delicious sandwich would have to involve either genoa salami or pastrami. Has anyone made a decent veggie facsimilie of either?

posted by jonmc 30 October | 23:19

Yes.

posted by dame 30 October | 23:19

I ask you this as a fellow Italian. Can genoa salami honestly be replicated by anyone? Capische, paesana?

posted by jonmc 30 October | 23:21

Yes.
posted by dame 30 October | 23:19

wait, am i supposed to take everything else seriously? i mean, after you say this?

what? something.

posted by sam 30 October | 23:26

Yes. The flavor people in Jersey are magic.

posted by dame 30 October | 23:27

Cowboy-Lawyer. Definitely.

posted by Carbolic 30 October | 23:31

I prefer, uh, hard dry salami to genoa. Am I not a true Italian at heart? I weep. I also look forward to turning fifty.

posted by WolfDaddy 30 October | 23:31

nota benne: pastrami is not a meat, it is a means of preserving. thus one can have various different pastrami'd meats. or, say, pastrami'd anything else.

i feel obligated to point out this possible vegetarian loophole. even if i think it is wrong. wrong.

and i think it should be stopped.

posted by sam 30 October | 23:34

Pastramied tofu for all California-bred Italian-descended girls! Hurrah!

posted by dame 30 October | 23:36

I'm bummed that jonmc is only slightly older than I am. I always thought he was an elder.

But I take comfort in the fact that he is much more curmudgeonly.

posted by jrossi4r 30 October | 23:38

"
Pastramied tofu for all California-bred Italian-descended girls! Hurrah!
posted by dame 30 October | 23:36
"

it's things like this that make me want to drive a minivan and eat at sizzler.

and hell, i like tofu.

posted by sam 30 October | 23:41

Why, sam? What is so wrong with both wanting pastramied tofu and knowing whence comes such desire? If it makes you feel better, I also live in Brooklyn and have tastes that can we qualified as "hipster." Do you feel dirty now? Do you?

posted by dame 30 October | 23:43

"
Cowboy-Lawyer. Definitely.
posted by Carbolic 30 October | 23:31
"

isn't it bizarre how much i like living in texas? i was convinced it would be the worst. i like prefixing everything with the 'cowboy-.' i just went cowboy-grocery shopping. i got cheerios.

posted by sam 30 October | 23:43

dear dame,
please examine my old personal webpage at right over here. i haven't had access to that account for nearly two years, but i feel like it should answer any and all questions.

IT'S DAMNED NEAR PREMENISCIENT.

posted by sam 30 October | 23:45

Oh. And I thought maybe we could be friends. Back to pastrami-ing that tofu.

posted by dame 30 October | 23:53

fuckin' kids.

posted by keswick 31 October | 00:12

Also, as a record geek, I'm obliged to tell you that aman's best ages are 33 1/3, 45, and 78.

Vinyl nerd. Me, I'm waiting until I'm 74!

posted by stilicho 31 October | 00:33

My experience is that getting older is a lot more fun than otherwise advertised - even with replacement parts - so long as you're mindful about what you really want out of your stay on the Blue Planet and have a sense of humor about the shit that inevitably goes down. And down it will go.

On the other hand, there's so much more to being happy and fulfilled than what's mapped out for you by others, that exploring the possibilities can be half the fun.

And I apologize now if this sparks another tedious tirade from dame about happy fascists.

posted by Frisbee Girl 31 October | 00:45

Dude, be as happy as you want. Clearly you still miss the point of that phrase. Then again, it does prove my suspicions about you.

posted by dame 31 October | 00:55

Quarter-century man!

It's not so bad. I'm going to turn 30 next March, and I'm going to quit all my bad habits. Like drinking and being dirty and so forth. Twenty-five isn't so bad at all. I liked it.

posted by interrobang 31 October | 01:34

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HEE HEE HEE HO HO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
BWAH!
HA!
*cough cough wheeze*

posted by quonsar 31 October | 01:56

old old old.

posted by sam 31 October | 09:28

isn't it bizarre how much i like living in texas?

Yes, hon (ha! I kill myself!), it's bizarre beyond imagining. I lived there for six years.

Anyway, I hope you have the Hoppiest of Burfdays.

I shall be 40 in 13½ months.

posted by deborah 31 October | 09:53

hipsters make me want to buy a minivan and eat at Sizzler

That was my line from mefi.

posted by jonmc 31 October | 10:02

no way? i knew i read it on the internets but i thought it was from olde english or something like that. that's around when i was finishing up undergrad and had to move previous front pages back to deep and unreachable status.

sorry for the lack of a credit line. i suspect i'm getting that second hand from someone else, though: by mid2004 i think i'd mostly stopped reading mefi.

a strange convergence indeed.

posted by sam 31 October | 11:20

don't sweat the credit, dude, I'm flattered that someone's digging on my little quips.

posted by jonmc 31 October | 12:19

Keeping with the Pink Floyd meem from the following post:

And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind
you.
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun.

I hope that passage gives you nightmares. Have a great birthday. If you still can.

P.S. jonmc... yeah, I get the record player references. But then again, I'm older than you.

posted by Doohickie 31 October | 13:09

The sun is the same in a relative way
but you're older.
Shorter of breath
And one day closer to DEATH.

posted by Doohickie 31 October | 13:11

(I was listening to Pink Floyd when I was eight; it screwed me up more than drugs ever could.)

posted by Doohickie 31 October | 13:12

You say that like it's a bad thing ;-)

posted by dg 31 October | 16:44

30 October 2005