the beatles on ed sullivan.

porno.

Perhaps not the greatest, but the most memorable:

1) Watching an Audie Murphy WWII movie one Saturday afternoon (in the early 1970's) with my folks when a commercial came on for a douche product. The room suddenly became quiet and remained so for a while. I dared not look my parents in the eye. Even more memorable for me was the fact the term "douche bag" was the insult in my high school.

2) During a college football game back in the 80's, the roving camera man was in front of the cheerleaders when a guy lifted up one of the girls. The camera went with her, right up her little cheerleader skirt. It was obvious she had been less than diligent with the razor. The announcers were strangely quiet during the entire thing until they switched to another camera.

Sitting on the couch with my first very serious and live-in boyfriend, having an increasingly uncomfortable discussion about what in, many people's minds, was our inevitable married future together. He thought I was just scared and would get over it, I thought we were too young and wasn't so sure that I wanted to 'come to my senses' just yet. The tv was on, but the sound off and I glanced at the screen to see the words: "GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN."

Yeah. Not exactly the greatest thing I've ever seen, but it sure as hell left an impression.

"What is the greatest thing you have ever seen on the boob tube?"

Boobs, duh.

About three years before Blair Witch, I was up watching late night tv, and saw the same thing done, but with some 25 people in a big old country house having a party, and with aliens. And it was some freaky shit.

Actually, it's the scary movies that stand out as tv experiences. The Power, when just a little kid. Later, Fright Night and Poltergeist.

Other than that, an excellent documentary series on ants.

A penguin. Standing. And it wasn't stamped "property of the zoo" anywhere on it.

That shrinking white dot when you turn it off.

0. england defeating argentina in the last world cup. i was in london and it was EXCRUCIATING. but worth it.
1. the simpsons. h.j.s. in the garage, being criticized for never completing anything he starts. he refutes such criticism, but moves some object or another to reveal a robot made out of a pail with brooms for arms that drags itself across the floor (cf j. goldblum, 'the fly') plaintively calling 'Faaa-theeer. Give. me. legs.'
2. the first few nights of the jimmy kimmel show. the first night there was an open bar for everyone. the second night just for the talent. the third night, i think, just for nobody. snoop dogg was on every night getting absolutely ridiculous.
3. the last democratic presidential nomination debate. topic: n. korea. my boy j. edwards says something about not being engaged with korea in a process. he sounds reasonable and intelligent. j. kerry speaks next, and ~corrects edwards with something along the lines of 'no, we're engaged, but we're not engaged properly,' at which point all of sudden edwards' southern shows but for serious, he does this weird inverted arm grab where he's holding his hand upside down and grips kerry's bicep as he wags a finger at him and s./n. carolina's at him somethiing that when i do the imitation sounds like 'engaged en-gd engaged aint engaged ain't proper engaged.'
all the white guys are weirded. the. eff. out.
al sharpton was cool with it.

in no particular order, btw.