MetaChat - Please help ostracize a child.

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18 October 2005

Please help ostracize a child. I'm not enough of a dick to do this on AskMe (on MeFi, maybe)... But since the asker seems to want to come up with names that ensure a level of either persistant mockery or overt priveliged class association, I thought I'd post my suggestions here.→[More:]

Chauncy.
Gimbles.
Bloober.
Chewy.
Arrrrrgh.
Hinsval.
Heinie.
Percival.
Eustace.
Lord Wallawallawangermuffin.
Chadwick.
Rasilbone.
Stuvesant.
Nincivere.
Ruprect.
Unguent.
Ointment.
Benis.
Bagina.
Queen Mumpsy.

My girlfriend suggested "Hambone" and "Gidiot," which I feel are excellent names.

post by: klangklangston at: 15:09 | 52 comments

Percival

posted by jonmc 18 October | 15:12

Slagathor

posted by briank 18 October | 15:13

This totally doesn't match the overprivileged class association condition, and it uses Farky/SomethingAwful-style humour, but I still can't get over how funny I found the names on this page.

posted by bugbread 18 October | 15:14

Jon: Percival was on my list! (Look up, chief!)

posted by klangklangston 18 October | 15:14

http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/25729#406441

posted by Skrik 18 October | 15:16

well, slap my ass and call me Sally, so it is. Sorry, pardner.

posted by jonmc 18 October | 15:17

Slut Bun Wallah.

*slap* Sally!

posted by Specklet 18 October | 15:18

More:

Erwingo
Stultivish
Cramandere
McTwannings
Nippileto
Splissy
Traviggles
Plenary
Chufflington
Hongo Wittensmore

posted by klangklangston 18 October | 15:23

*sigh*

thank you

also, I'm getting to work on a brand new CCR anthology, which has brightened up a tedious workday. Jerry Garcia wishes he was John Fogerty

*wanders off singing "Down On The Corner"*

posted by jonmc 18 October | 15:24

Maximillian

posted by flopsy 18 October | 15:24

Tarquin Fin-tim-lim-bim-whin-bim-lim-bus-stop-F'tang-F'tang-Olè-Biscuitbarrel

posted by Slack-a-gogo 18 October | 15:27

Bartholomew Exploding Python Snakes On A Plane has a very regal air to it, I think.

posted by iconomy 18 October | 15:30

Blanket

posted by jonmc 18 October | 15:31

Apple

posted by AlexReynolds 18 October | 15:33

Lourdes
Rocco

posted by box 18 October | 15:34

Throatwobbler Mangrove

posted by agropyron 18 October | 15:35

Eugene Maximillian Glovelover the Third.

Or, what was the kid in Parenthood? Cool? Yeah, my son Cool! Hahaha.

And I am not commenting in that thread to save my time and Matt or Jessamyn's time to delete it because there's no chance I'd be able to offer anything resembling helpful advice to someone naming their children with those names. Sorry, gina.

posted by fenriq 18 October | 15:40

Adolph

posted by PinkStainlessTail 18 October | 15:46

For a boy - Harley Davidson. A girl? Crystal Methedrine. Can't get much classier than that. Or, of course, there's always Adolf Richard Hitler Nixon, for that uptown multiply named swing.

posted by mygothlaundry 18 October | 15:56

I have a pretty unusual first name and I fucking hate it. I grew up thinking my name was "what" with a middle name of "hey you" and a last name of "eat this, sissy"

*sigh*

and no middle name to fall back on.

posted by rumple 18 October | 16:03

I never thought Metachat would stoop to making fun of embarrassing names.

God!

posted by Hugh Janus 18 October | 16:14

MetaFilter thread on stupid baby names.

posted by kirkaracha 18 October | 16:15

Kal-El
Beavis
Butt-Head
Harry Peter
Harry Dick

posted by sisterhavana 18 October | 16:15

Almost forgot Jinger. Hey, it works for them.

posted by sisterhavana 18 October | 16:17

Hurf Durf Butter Eater?

posted by amro 18 October | 16:24

Loranine
Decky
Swingline
Polysorbate 80

posted by chewatadistance 18 October | 16:26

I met a T'Pring a few years ago.

posted by go dog go 18 October | 16:32

Boat. For true -> http://www.ijmc.com/archives/1998/May/07May1998.html

posted by urbanwhaleshark 18 October | 16:35

With all this barney, i've forgotten how to use metachat.

Nice and quiet in here tho :)

posted by urbanwhaleshark 18 October | 16:37

Name the kid Fetus.

posted by killdevil 18 October | 16:37

And I am not commenting in that thread to save my time and Matt or Jessamyn's time to delete it....

thanks!

posted by jessamyn 18 October | 16:37

Tick.

This is a topic I gotta put some serious thought to. My wife and I struck upon a girl name, no problem. Possible boy's names are confounding us though.

I'm looking for something overtly lower class and kinda trashy. Funny how much overlap there is between redneck names and trendy names from 1910.

posted by eatitlive 18 October | 17:00

There are some good ones here.

posted by sisterhavana 18 October | 17:02

I'm thinking Spuds.

posted by eatitlive 18 October | 17:20

Locknar.

("If baby's first word is Loc-Nar, is it time to worry?")

posted by loquacious 18 October | 17:24

NOBODY in this thread or the other suggested Wendell?

*sulks*

posted by wendell 18 October | 17:55

I never thought Metachat would stoop to making fun of embarrassing names.
You have no idea of the depths to which we will sink, given the right encouragement.

posted by dg 18 October | 18:31

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

posted by keswick 18 October | 18:40

More:
Spangalino
Whensly
Toddworth
Ghizander
Cobbswald
Stoat
Flinny

posted by klangklangston 18 October | 18:55

Kal El! pah. You'd have to be mental to call your child Kal El.

posted by seanyboy 18 October | 19:07

Igor
Boris
Vlad the Impaler
Egbert
Godolphin
Godawful

posted by mygothlaundry 18 October | 19:15

NOBODY in this thread or the other suggested Wendell?

We want the kid to be unpopular, not get murdered.

posted by PinkStainlessTail 18 October | 19:15

Gilgamesh is certainly old.

posted by Eideteker 18 October | 20:17

I can't be bothered to read the AskMe thread. Has NOBODY offered "Puddin' Tame"?

posted by yhbc 18 October | 20:46

I had a girlfriend once. No really, I did. Anyways, we were talking about kids and what to name ours. (Sadly we never had any). She thought Scabie Piles would be good.

posted by eekacat 18 October | 21:15

I favor traditional horrible names.

"Hi, I'm the ROU Xenophobe. These are my children. My son Herod. My daughters Lucrezia-Borgia and Salome. And the twins, Haman and Pilate."

Or "A Sniveling Little Rat-Faced Git," but you've gotta have the right surname for that as A Sniveling Little Rat-Faced Thompson just doesn't work.

posted by ROU Xenophobe 18 October | 21:22

Darth.

Fair dinkum, those aren't kids names, they're goldfish names.

.

posted by bdave 18 October | 21:55

Red Runnon Soares

posted by pliskie 18 October | 22:04

Poindexter--duh!!!

posted by amberglow 18 October | 22:07

a few from #mefi:

Gaylord Gluteus Penetratus the Third
Phineas Ebenezer McPumpernickel
Ezra Jebediah Dildoff
Methuselah Oswald Von Bandersnatch
Jeremiah Noahide Cooter

posted by Wedge 19 October | 07:40

Dildo.

posted by gaspode 19 October | 14:48

Daggins.

posted by Hugh Janus 19 October | 14:54

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