10. Not actually a Captain
9. Not nearly as snarky in person
8. Knows all the lyrics to several Tom Waits songs
7. Can make a flute from a drinking straw
6. Am taking a cooking class
5. Need to leave for my cooking class right now.

10. I have very hairy toes.
9. I actually enjoy leg cramps.
8. I have a soft spot for sentimental kids entertainment.
7. Ever since I saw a Bic pen commercial as a kid, I've always wanted a banana costume.
6. I really like original malt flavor ovaltine.
5. I couldn't tie my shoes until I was seven.
4. I almost died of the croup at 2.
3. I havent been on an airplane in 16 years.
2. I ate my first salad at age 34.
1. I suck at video games, except Centipede..

where are yours, Fris?

1. I have several tattoos, but any MeChatter I meet will only get shown one.
2. When i was a kid, I read the whole chronicles of narnia in one sitting
3. I began university as a French major, and switched to neuroscience at the end of my first year
4. I once ran a half marathon
5. My paternal grandfather died the day I was born; my maternal grandfather died on my 15th birthday
6. I represented NZ in contract bridge (under 25)
7. I met my husband in the first 24 hours of living in the USA

damn this is hard

8. If given a choice between chocolate and ice cream, I will always choose ice cream
9. I have bungee jumped 3 times
10. I have made out with a boy from every continent (except antarctica)

jonmc? you enjoy leg cramps? eessh.

10. I can sing along with just about any 1980s pop song.
9. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue.
8. I'm a lightweight--two beers and I'm hugging people I don't know.
7. I'm a hugger.
6. I was once tracked home by police dogs. (Teen angst, rocks, windows. You know the drill.)
5. I have a Master's degree in History.
4. I'm afraid of reaching out to open a door and having someone open it from the other side, jamming my fingers.
3. I was once engaged. She cheated on me.
2. I watch an average of three movies a week.
1. I almost died of anaphylactic shock when I got my tetanus booster shot. If I need another one, they'll have to pretreat me for anaphylaxis and hope I don't die.

(1a. I don't like leg cramps, but sometimes I make my foot cramp up because it feels good to stretch the cramp away.)

oh, man, gaspode. I can't believe you got married before Antarctica. So close!

10. I am Charro
9. I have zero magazine subscriptions
8. Have performed dozens of surgeries
7. Sweet tooth
6. Tea not coffee
5. I am not a doctor
4. Do not play one on TV
3. Coochie coochie
2. Lied about the surgeries
1. Glad to be here

10 Things You Don't Know About Me:

10. My last name (except jonmc and maybe dame, I forget).
9. My Social Security Number.
8. My biggest fear.
7. If it's really my birthday.
6. If I ever really had a chicken named "Chicken Friendly."
5. What my deal is with commas.
4. Where I hide the bodies.
3. Name and Phone Number of any ex-girlfriends.
2. Why my written spanish is so poor and idiomatic.
1. What I put in the punchbowl.

(1a. I don't like leg cramps, but sometimes I make my foot cramp up because it feels good to stretch the cramp away.)

That's exactly why I like leg cramps (calf ones specifically).

Also, I am a hugger, too (believe it or not) and I get gooey and goofy around babies and puppies.

*waiting to read Frisbee's!*

I have tried to reinvent myself as a hugger after a childhood of not really being touched very much (yet turning out relatively normal, I think). It's surprisingly difficult.

10. I wanted to be Madonna when I grew up.
9. I also wanted to marry Bruce Springsteen.
8. Commando is one of my all-time favourite movies.
7. I used to get rides home from school in police cars, having met the officers when they were moonlighting as bouncers and I was clubbing while underage.
6. I can't cook meat without burning or undercooking it.
5. I like my steak well-done.
4. I cry over phone-company commercials. And the Ikea lamp ad.
3. I almost blew my thumb off with a firecracker when I was nine.
2. When I was 18 months old and holidaying in Melbourne, I ran away and the police found me on the bank of the Murray River. Apparently I didn't want to take a bath.
1. I used to be able to swear in every eastern European language.

I was the same, gaspode. I'm more touchy-feely now than I was a couple of years ago, but it still feels weird.

- I can sing Le Marseilles.
- My youngest brother is mildly autistic, along with other learning disabilities.
- I've got risotto making and tart baking down pat, but I still have trouble cooking chicken all the way through on a BBQ.
- My cell phone ringer is a clip from an Andrew Bird song.
- I saved a friend's life with a wrestling move.
- I'm an I/ENFP.
- I collect matchbooks.
- I wear two silver rings on my right hand, one of which can't/won't come off.
- I call the ugly yuppie box condominiums going up all over Chicago "condoliths."
- I've got a MeCha crush on the ladies of MeCha, 'specially mudpuppie and taz.

1. There is a small spot on my left leg that is completely numb due to injuries I received in a car accident when I was 16.
2. I can't sleep unless I have a pillow to hold in my arms.
3. When I was very young I nearly died when I fell and hit my head on a brick fireplace.
4. I ran away from home when I was a teenager.
5. I am afraid of lightning.
6. I had my very first french kiss on the dance floor at my ninth grade formal
7. I have a small birthmark on my elbow.
8. I once let a friend color locks of my hair with red permanent marker.
9. I am related to the man who invented Noxema
10. I am not bitter that I have not seen cent one of that sweet sweet Noxema money

10. I secretly believe in destiny & coincidences & signs & weird magic shit like that.
9. I've been married & divorced twice & had a baby when I was 19.
8. I read really fast, so fast that I usually go through books in one or two sittings.
7. When I was a kid I rode horses every day and competed in horse shows & even won ribbons.
6. I dropped out of high school in March of my senior year even though I was a National Merit Scholarship finalist.
5. I wrote 350 pages, or roughly half, of a science fiction novel once.
4. I lived in Spain as a teenager, dealt hash, babysat, worked as an artists model & was a b-drinker in a bar in Terreno to make ends meet.
3. I was offered a modeling contract when I was 17 but I was too scared to do it.
2. I'm a really good cook.
1. Every so often I have bouts of deep depression and have to take medication to knock myself out of it.

Not to be anti-social, here goes:

1. A snake has fallen on my head before.
2. My bumper sticker reads "Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole".
3. A field hockey ball hit me in the crotch once.
4. A good friend always says to me "You're one screwed up bitch but i love you anyway.
5. I have a scar on my face that required 65 stitches. My head went through a window.
6. I have used a pit latrine before.
7. I once lived in a little town where i was the only black person in the entire town .
8. I've tasted cat meat before (tastes like chicken).
9. I eat weetabix with jam instead of sugar.
10. I don't have a penis!

10. I'm typing this from a cubicle near Dulles airport.
9. My mother was born on March 17 so my middle name is Patrick.
8. I have passed on my left-handedness to all my offspring
7. I have four TVs in my living room.
6. How many times I shouted 'fire' in a crowded theater.
5. Pull my finger.
4. When I was five, I fell out of a moving car onto a busy street and ended up nose to bumper with a Caddy in the next lane.
3. My father was involved nuclear bomb tests in the 50s and worse tests in the 80s.
2. I smell popcorn and buring hair.
1. I actually *do* have an anus.

1. I once stashed a gun on the Mexican border.

2. I've been electrocuted twice and three times have been inside buildings struck by lightning.

3. I have a super rapid heart beat and have been on medication for it since I was nineteen.

4. I've never held a baby.

5. My family gives me a hard time because, as my mother points out, "she never was very good with scissors."

6. My brother and I were mostly estranged for 7 or 8 years, but are now really close.

7. When my college roommate (a childhood friend, still a friend) moved out of our apartment, she left me with the hamsters. I didn't want to move with them to my new apartment. I took the nice one to the pet store, and let the mean one go. I always told her that the mean one escaped; never actually fessed up that I turned him loose behind the dumpster.

8. Two of my teeth grew in fused together and are basically one tooth.

9. I've never actually acted on a crush (and I've had many), except passive-aggressively.

10. I've conquered a few addictions, but still suffer from others.

(on preview -- me3dia, you made my day!)

Some of you may in fact know the following...

12: My partner and I have been together for 10+ years.
11: I was once stopped by the police (along with other ruffians) for stealing some ice.
10: I can't read music.
09: I nearly failed out of math in high school, despite an "A" in it the previous year.
08: I once borrowed a car without permission.
07: I don't know my lineage/ancestry.
06: I almost didn't get to go to the college I was accepted to because of #09; and I only applied to one.
05: I'm over being allergic to wine.
04: I am late for an appointment right now.
03: I am a decent dancer. Others agree.
02: I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote my thesis.
01: I have been a camp counselor.

1. I used to have a photographic memory. When I was 22 I blanked on a vital piece of information when, literally, a life was at stake. My memory's been declining ever since.
2. I can't stand the smell of beer or coffee and think they both taste like shit.
3. I've saved the lives of 3 people, two of them with words.
4. I had a sister who died when I was 10 (she was 15). My other sister is a standup comedian.
5. I know the date when my life divided and became what it is now, which is very different from what it was then.
6. I once dated a Russian Spy. When she was caught, I was interogated (or, thoroughly questioned) by CSIS (Canadian FBI).
7. I like mashed potatoes.
8. I've never hit on anyone (and by that I mean asked out a complete stranger).
9. After splitting when I was 2, my dad tried to reenter my life when I was 24. I didn't accept his calls. I think he's dead now.
10. I have 4 given names and I hate them all. The drunk gave them to me. One day I'll change them, if only just to have no ties to him.

Meet Nick, he's from Antarctica.

1. I drowned when I was a child.
2. I'm supposed to be a vegetable ( or in a persistent vegetative state to use the popular lingo of the day)
3. I used to have religious visions
4. I used to be a preacher as a child and had a small following
5. I ran a small thieving ring of children when I was young.
6. I have broken the bones (one wrist, one arm) of 2 very close friends in accidents.
7. I consider myself somewhat reluctantly social.
8. I don't think I draw or paint very well, and that nags at me.
9. I love love love to sing along with my stereo
10. I used to have several stray dogs as pets and I used to let them pull me on roller skates.

1. I love dogs, but get scared of big ones I don't know.
2. I nannied the same kid from the time he was three weeks old until he was five. I haven't seen him in years, but still talk about him all the time: my beebee Ian.
3. I used to be able to salsa dance real good, but need to brush up on my skills.
4. I love my full name.
5. I have a fake, removeable front tooth.
6. I cry at almost every movie I see.
7. I was in the movie Parenthood.
8. I accidentally broke my little sister's ankle while towing her on my bike and feel guilty about it to this day.
9. I have a thing for tall black men.
10. I really wish I had waited to have sex until my second boyfriend. The first one was a psycho.
11. I'm pleasantly surprised that jonmc is a hugger.
12. I tell people I'm car-free because I'm environmentally conscious, but if I could afford a car, I'd have one.

01. I have two tattoos.
02. My nose is pierced.
03. I burned my hand playing with matches when I was six. I had a bad burn but never told anyone 'cuz I'd get beaten.
04. I'm the only one in my immediate family (brothers and parents) that's never been in jail.
05. I'm also the only to not have (or had) a substance abuse problem.
06. I almost died of tonsilitis - several times.
07. I've only recently started telling my family members that I love them.
08. I have a better relationship with y'all than I do my father.
09. I was born the exact day Walt Disney died.
10. I was six the first time I ran away from home.

1. I have no brothers or sisters
2. My parents are Irish (hey! Irish people using contraception!)
3. I wanted to be a graphic designer but wasn't good enough
4. I can't touch type despite spending two months in a secretarial college and taking numerous other courses.
5. I've been on Crimewatch (a programme where the police ask for help with unsolved cases)
6. I play guitar. Badly.
7. I'm punctual
8. I didn't realise until I was sixteen that most peoples family lives suck - nobody told me!
9. I got married in a castle.
10. I'm just a rather dull chap

Um, so I don't know why I did twelve things instead on ten.

bigger sharable secrets cache specklet?

Perhaps safetyfork influenced you.

mudpuppie, remind me to not hang out near you in an electrical storm.

11. The guy who sold Amy Fisher the gun she used to shoot Mary Jo Buttafucco was a college freind of mine.

That's it! Damn you, safteyfork!

mygoth, what's a b-drinker?
And mrs.pants, I think you draw amazingly fantastic! That is you with the sketchbook, right?

yeah it's my sketchbook, but I'm really finicky or batshit neurotic, which means that my dissatisfaction can only push me to do better right? right? (crosses fingers)

I've got ten "bits" of information about me. In my pants.

mygoth, what's a b-drinker?

I wondered that too, mygothlaundry. 'Splainy!

this is rather interesting.

1- when i was a kid, i rode horses in rodeos. i was a barrel racer and i hung out with the bull riders who were twice my age.
2- i'm weirdly proud of the fact that i'm the oldest person in most of my classes.
3- i can't stand avocado. i actually have some crazy food texture issues...i can't eat rice pudding, either.
4- at 24 years old, i'm considering getting braces on my teeth and i'm disproportionately terrified.
5- as a kid, my friend and i had this huge scheme to run away, but the night we were supposed to do it, she chickened out.
6- i couldn't drink beer for a long time because when i was about 4 and thirsty in the car, my dad made me drink his beer and i hated it.
7- my ex-step-mother took my first dog to the vet and had her put to sleep while i was on vacation just because.
8- i love movies, but have a problem actually sitting down to watch any of them on my own.
9- i'm afraid of the baltimore metro system. especially at night.
10- i let the vines grow up the fence in my backyard just because i know it pisses my neighbor off.

10- i let the vines grow up the fence in my backyard just because i know it pisses my neighbor off.

Amatoor. Back in Bridgeport, I had neighbors who had fucking tree saplings growing in their damned gutters.

Oh yeah.

11. I have fucking tree saplings growing in my damned gutters.

(One of the benefits of being a renter is that the gutters aren't my responsibility.)

OK, but do you live across prom a place called "Justice Liquors," that specializes in fortified wine and flavored malt liquor, and do you have insanely skinny women in Camaros pulling up to your house at all hours.

(note: I never knew for sure what was happening in that house and never asked. They did have an angry bulldog, who barked all the time until Pips sweet-talked it, then it left us alone.)

1. Taciturn.

No, but for a while there was a drug-dealing hooker living in my next-door neighbor's garage, and that has to count for *something*.

/derail

1. In a humorous skit for my high school talent show I played a vapid beauty contestent "Miss Southern Belle"

2. My husband calls me "poopy", and I call him "poopy", too

3. I don't drive, and never got a driver's license

4. I have had a private trip in a blimp.

5. I have eaten in many four-star restaurants, but never paid for it.

6. I love champagne

7. I was a very lazy student; in fact, in my senior English class I didn't do my term paper, and should have failed - but the teacher let me take a make up exam for it, so I made an "A" instead.

8. I have a scar that runs the whole length of my forehead, but the doctor did such a good job of stitching, almost no one ever notices it

9. When I was 12, I won a "Daughters of the American Revolution Good Citizenship" award

10. As an adult, I won the top ("Best from all Categories") Press Club award for one of my articles

PS: I think a "B drinker" is a girl who is paid by management to sit in a bar and get guys to buy them drinks / spend lots of money - but usually the girls are really served ginger ale, or just very, very weak drinks.

1. I'm writing this from a private computer lab.
2. My parents are still together.
3. All of my aunts and uncles have had a divorce, Except for the two that never got married.
4. I am a terrible procrastinator, but I can write a very good paper at a rate of more than a page an hour when I want to.
5. I don't understand all the fuss over chocolate.
6. I currently live with my two best friends in the world, 2 pretty good friends, and four strangers (that's 9, if you're counting).
7. My best friend in high school and our mutual good friend came out to me on the same day. They had been dating for 2 months.
8. I won't say something behind a person's back if I wouldn't say it to his/her face (but I'll say a lot to someone's face).
9. I think "say it to his/her face" is a weird expression.
10. I try to be a stickler for grammar, but I secretly can't spell.

1. I have been electrocuted three times;
2. I have been set on fire once;
3. I have two areas on my body with no feeling from work-related injuries;
4. My mobile phone ring is "London Calling";
5. I have only ever broken one bone (toe) and it still has not healed after about 5 years;
6. My Father was a cop;
7. I have two separate nails on my right big toe as a result of an industrial accident;
8. I find it hard to come up with original thoughts but can adapt other peoples' ideas;
9. I once sliced off the top of my sister's little finger during an argument;
10. A MeFi member once saved my life.

Taz has it right, although I never knew what it was called until years later when I read about it in a pulp novel. The bar was in Terreno, outside of Palma de Mallorca, and the American fleet used to come in. Because my friends and I spoke English, we worked for this bar sort of luring sailors in and then they were charged about twice or three times the normal price of drinks. In return we drank free whenever we went there. Some of my friends got to the point where they would go through the guys' coat pockets & wallets & stuff but I never did that - although I never ratted them out, either. The sailors by and large were total assholes. I finally met a decent one - and I got the bar to give him free drinks for the rest of the night & return all his money. I did it for about 4 or 5 months then when the owner of the bar tried to take it up a notch - a fairly serious notch - I quit and never went back there again.

Okay, I wasn't going to say anything, but some of you have claimed to have been electrocuted and some of you claim to have drowned. I think you mean, respectively, you received a strong electrical shock and you almost drowned.

Specklet's right, of course. I forgot that the whole origin of the word "electrocute" is related to the invention of the electric chair: electricity + execution = electrocution. Thanks Edison!

11. Specklet is a pedant.

Why yes, I'd love to wear specklet around my next on a little chain...

*checks spelling*

never mind.

*resists making crass comment about wearing specklet*

1. I can sing.
2. I am six foot two with eyes of blue.
3. I started smoking because I thought it would lower my voice. I'm still waiting.
4. I'm a closet "Desperate Housewives" junkie.
5. I taught Neil Patrick Harris how to drive a stick-shift. car!
6. I moved out and became independent at the age of 14.
7. I have visited every state in the Union.
8. Earthquakes don't scare me. At all. I actually like them.
9. I'm not fazed at all by nudity.
10. I have more comic books than you.

1. The hardest part of being single for me is the lack of cuddling.

2. I am nearly twenty-six and I still cuddle with my mom.

3. I met my father once when I was nineteen. I wasn't impressed.

4. My family is convinced I like platform beds and hate lofts because I have fallen out of bed twice. Once my mother was in the room and she couldn't stop laughing. Also, when I was little, I would get out of bed to sleep on the floor.

5. I threw the most wicked tantrums as a kid, and I was once thrown in a cold shower for it.

6. I am constantly editing everything I read, including your posts. It makes me angry when people repeat the same word in adjacent sentences. It makes me angry when I do it too.

7. I find it really difficult to be friends with girls, even though I'd like to.

8. I really have a thing for English accents, especially Yorkshire ones.

9. I deflowered an Icelandic boy,

10. I am terrified of not living up to my potential.

10. I have more comic books than you.

I'm sure but do you have any copies of Peter Bagge's Hate!? I ask because I am Buddy Bradley made flesh, which would make you Phil (if you've read the comic, you'll get it).

1. Even though I'm a dog trainer, I don't like dog slobber. Cooties, you know.
2. My tongue is abnormally short, and whenever I go to the dentist, he calls everyone in the office over to my chair to see it.
3. I've worked as a bike messenger in three cities.
4. I can fit my entire fist in my mouth.
5. I can't remember the last time I went a whole day without drinking a cup of tea.
6. Until I moved away to college in Oregon, I had very, very strong Boston accent.
7. I love all of my immediate neighbors and consider them good friends.
8. I got kicked out of Catholic school in grade 9.
9. At age 30, I got behind the wheel of a car for the first time.
10. The first time I drove solo, I hit an off-duty state trooper's brand spanking new Ford F150. When I apologized and told him that I had earned my driver's license only two weeks before, he did not believe me.

4. I can fit my entire fist in my mouth.

Well sure, you've got all that room in there with your teeny tongue.

1) I have been in a zombie/porn movie and have a striking photo on IMDB. I was never naked in it.

2. I like comic books but it's only a recent development (and I only like the one I think are mature)

3- I've been skydiving, and i thought it was dull.

4: I have a jade Tiki thing around my neck. It was a gift and i have no idea what it represents. When asked, I just say it's from South America. I've never been but i hope by saying that I give the impression I have.

5= I feel I am a pop culture aficionado but i don't watch tv.

6* I spend too much time on the internet. making up for it

7+ I never learned to spell and I am just starting to figure it out.

8# I like to *be* different and quirky, but i never feel I *am*

9' I love clever performance art

10! I wish zeppelins were still all the rage

*wonders if joelf really thinks Tikis come from South America*

10. Frankly, I'm pretty boring (oh, wait, you knew that!)
9. I'm still in the process of buying a car (oh, wait, you knew that!)
8. I lost a lot of weight this year (oh, wait, you knew that!)

....I won't bore you with the rest of a list, cuz you already know it anyway.

Well, I don't know #4, so perhaps you could just spill that one?

1. I do not have a spleen.
2. I have autographed books from Anne Rice, Carl Barks, and Matt Groening.
3. I can still water-ski slalom at 44.
4. I am 44.
5. My father was on television commercials for 40 years.
6. I learned RPG2 and COBOL before my uncle told me that computers were a dead-end career and advised me to go to law school.
7. I am currently unemployed.
8. I played the Frank N. Furter role in a high-school classmate's home-movie "sequel" to the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
9. I am a Freemason.
10. Some of you may already know some of these things.

10. I have made out with a boy from every continent (except antarctica)

Now there's a boy I'd like to meet.

10. At 18 I ran for mayor of my hometown, while wearing a clown wig. I got 17%.
9. In the old neighborhood, my nickname was "The Professor."
8. My license plate is "THE MOON"
7. Growing up, my omther took me once a month to a psychic research center.
6. Most of my friends are lesbians.
5. One lesbian couple asked me to help make a baby, so I have a 2 y.o. daughter.
4. My third book comes out in March. Eh.
3. I really, really love Morningstar fake bacon.
2. When I go to a dance club, I find a dark corner where I can write about dancing.
1. I can only make lists like this when drinking.

Most of the people accessing this page are people I know, and who are by now bored by information they have probably heard a dozen times. That is why I will give out my deepest and most darkest secrets.

1 - I am an alien from the planet Xlor 5 and we are ruled by the all mighty ZYBLORG (hail ZYBLORG).

2 - I am also a secret agent with the earth government. I bet you thought earth was ruled by separate countries! HA!

3 - I started the whole U.F.O cover up.

4 - I can travel through time by using my magic haggis.

5 - I "morph".

6 - I killed JFK.

7 - My favourite food is pizza.

8 - I dwell in my underground empire plotting to take over the world.

9 - I knew the REAL Mork and Mindy(Nanu Nanu).

10 - I am immortal and omnipotent.

Moonbird your life is an inspiration to me. bravo!

12) Moonbird is someone I'd like to meet.

3. I was once engaged. She cheated on me.

1. me too, she cheated with my ex-best friend...
2. i was once homeless and unemployed for two years and change
3. my first name
4. whether i am an innie or an outie
5. I've been to every state in the union except hawaii and alaska
6. i was born on the cusp of aires and pisces, the vernal equinox...i'm convinced this is why im bipolar...my parents also considered naming me 'vernal'...i thank the gods every day.
7. i can tie cherry stems in a knot faster than anyone i know *wiggles eyebrows seductively*
8. i played Oliver in Oliver at age twelve...the apex of my life in hindsight
9. i've been mostly vegetarian for 12 years (excepting the years i was homeless and unemployed, i was a freegan then...meaning i ate half eaten sandwiches off of peoples plates...)
10. i have never been beaten at trivial pursuit (specifically genus 1, but my record for the others isn't too shabby)

I will probably have to read this whole thread from start to finish when i have time...as i have no computer of my own and am constantly going through internet withdrawal. unfortunately i have replaced part of my addiction to you all with beer

9. i've been mostly vegetarian for 12 years

Waitaminute...I fed you a pastrami sandwich. I feel like Fagin corrupting Oliver Twist now....

Schyler, I'm throwing down for some Trivial Pursuit action. i too have never been beaten (although, we'll have to find a culturally neutral game to play).

I'd wipe up the floor with both your asses.

1. I am about to have a roommate for the first time in my life.

2. I am TERRIFIED of spiders.

3. My ears have been pierced since I was a year and a half old. I can go months without earings and they won't close.

4. Finding out my IQ is one of my greatest regrets.

5. There's a inch deep dent in my left leg the size of a quarter.

6. I have never met a person who has more surgical metal in them than me.

7. I know all the words to just about every Clash song.

8. My cherry stem record is three knots in one.

9. I have a sister, two older half brothers who are both named after Lord of the Rings characters, and two younger stepsiblings.

10. I originally went to college as a painting major.

10. I have appeared onstage in nothing more than tights and a dance belt. (This was not by choice – I made an especially vigorous arms-open-wide gesture and the rest of my costume exploded. Fortunately, the show was a comedy.)
9. I burned the corner of my right eye on a hot cookie sheet. On the upside – no more crow’s feet!
8. The smell of lilies makes me nauseous.
7. Gene Kelly told my mom I was a cute baby.
6. I am distantly related to the Hershey family.
5. I despise their shitty chocolate.
4. I accidentally stuck the tip of my thumb into some liquid oxygen and got frostbite.
3. I have only been east of Denver once.
2. Animals and kids up to the age of six love me; adults, not so much.
1. I have had drinks with Jenny of “867-5309” fame.

1. I have 7 tats, one of which is a semi colon.
2. Been married 4 times, the last one lasting only 12 hours.
3. No sense of smell although I can still taste.
4. In college, I supported myself by writing stories for the True Romance family of magazines.
5. I am banned from ever entering Canada.
6. On three separate occasions, I have stopped dating women who use improper grammar.
7. For three years, I was employed by the owner of the Mustang Ranch to conduct background checks on applicants.
8. I have staged 4 professional operas.
9. I had an affair with one of the Love Boat stars.
10. I cannot sing on tune.

I have 7 tats, one of which is a semi colon.

Oh. Can I have your babies now? Even though I hate babies? I have an ampersand and the semi-colon is next.

I'm developing cancer of the semicolon, myself.

Why do you think I got the tat, dame? It was either that or move to Iceland.

DeepFried, darling, was it Isaac? Please say it was Isaac.

Also:

1. No way.
2. Nevermind.
3. Nope.
4. Nyet.
5. Now this one time...ah, forget it.
6. Nuh-uh.
7. Nah.
8. Nein.
9. Nunca.
10. NENE!!!!

Chicken.

That's me.

11. I have a crush on all of you

3. My ears have been pierced since I was a year and a half old. I can go months without earings and they won't close.

Me too! (well, I was 4 years old, but who's counting)

1) When I was a kid I used to bang my head against the wall for 10-15 minutes before I went to sleep.
2) I have never read a novel by Anthony Trollope.
3) I am ashamed of everything I've ever written.
4) I find it very difficult to sustain recollections of a happy memory without my brain summoning up a time I did something horrible for balance.
5) I am thoroughly convinced that I was an asshole for the first 25 years of my life. The last seven have been slightly better.
6) I quit smoking four years ago.
7) I was in an improv comedy group with Eugene Mirman when we were both in college. I got in on my first audition. Eugene only made the cut on his third try. He has proven that he wanted it more in the long run.
8) I often have to remind myself that I am actually a conscious being, not a character in a book, movie, or other person's life. This and number 1 really make me think I should visit a neurologist sometime.
9) My paternal grandfather was a 33rd degree freemason.
10)I can not leave a scab alone.

Bonus 11): I had my left nipple pierced on television as a favor to a friend. I haven't worn a ring in it for years.

*sticks tongue out at jon*

*does something more private to the twinkies*

1. First try at college? I flunked out the first semster. Made up for it later, but still, almost no one knows this.
2. I can lead most known sea chanties.
3. I play an excellent game of darts.
4. My greatest ambition of the next year is to learn to surf.
5. My Mom was one of the last people to interview Cary Grant before he died. (No, I don't know how many have interviewed him since he died).
6. My first stage performance was as Mother Goose in first grade. It involved carrying a large, painted, plywood goose. Sometimes I feel as though I'm still carrying it...
7. I own dozens of bras, but not one of them is white.
8. No matter how I plan, I can't go to bed at a reasonable hour. I'm an intractable night person.
9. There is a list of songs I flat-out refuse to play for people, no matter how they beg and tell you how it's their favorite song that their dad used to play them when they were small. I won't do it.
10. Until I was 25, I didn't own a car. I walked, biked, or took the train everywhere. Apparently this is mind-blowing in some regions.

...in regard to the original post: One of my oldest friends and I spent New Year's 2000 on a windswept and frozen Martha's Vineyard. After a long night of partying in bars, we woke up New Year's Day, had breakfast, and repaired to the Newes to watch football for hours. Being hung over and tired, we were kind of at a loss for conversation. We decided that we should ask each other trivia questions about our lives - things much like those that appear here. It was fun and incredibly interesting - and that's after I'd known this person intimately for 10 years. We named the game "Wooden Nickel Trivia" becuase the bartenders there give you a wooden nickel with each drink. Everytime you failed a question, you lost a nickel.

I recommend this game for any couple that's been together a long time.

DeepFried, darling, was it Isaac? Please say it was Isaac.

It was Isaac. Please enlighten me why it was though.

*does something more private to the twinkies*

*swoons. faints. conjugates several irregular verbs.*

I can so totally beat all of y'all's asses at Trivial Pursuit.

10. I can't even think about the song "Boots of Spanish Leather" without tearing up, which is why I only listen to it every couple of years.

9a. I have an extremely large collection of books by Jack Vance, many of them signed, most of them first editions, and all of them very beautiful. I bought Jack Vance a beer, the second time I met him. He told me that I was "a prodigy", because I was young at the time. Maybe it was the beer talking.

9b. I'm only missing a couple of his pseudonymously written titles, and I can't afford those. I'm confident that I'll own them some day.

9c. Both times I've met Jack Vance, I've called him "Jack", rather than "Mister Vance".

8. I used my art to snare my girlfriend.

7. I spent about a year working in a shack in the woods, polishing doorknobs and hinges, restoring the metalwork on the Wisconsin state capitol building's east wing.

6a. I can play and sing most of Leonard Cohen's early songs--from "Songs of Leonard Cohen" through "Songs of Love and Hate" on the guitar.

6b. I do a hilarious Cat Stevens impression.

5. I was in a student film about child abuse when I was five, in Montreal, Canada. I would love to get a copy of it, but the two guys who made it were college students that lived below my parents; I don't think I'll ever find out who they were.

They put rouge on my cheek to make it look like the nice woman who was my "mom" had hit me, and I got a yellow Tonka truck as "payment". My family went to the university and watched the film--a little 8mm affair, but I don't remember much about it.

4. I used to drink coffee, but now I drink black tea.

3. I'm more in love than I've ever been in my life, and this time, it's decidedly different than it's ever been before--no niggling doubts whatsoever.

2. I have written an unpublished young adult novel that's pretty good.

1. I would like to live in a lighthouse somewhere dark and rainy, writing young adult novels and drawing and playing music.

1. I was once an extra in a Civil War movie, back when my hair and beard were MUCH longer.

2. When I was very small, I thought cars were alive like animals.

3. Pat Buttram, who played "Mr Haney" on Green Acres, was a very close relative of mine.

4. I never saw real snow until I was in my 20s.

5. I've met the Dalai Lama.

6. I've never broken a bone, but have knocked out three different teeth in two different accidents.

7. I'm a serious-to-the-point-of-nutty cat person.

8. I despise talking on the phone.

9. I'm the only person in my immediate family who DOESN'T have insomnia.

I can go months without earings and they won't close.
I have a hole in my left ear which I have not worn an earing in for about 10 years, but I sometimes horify people who don't know by sticking things like paperclips through my earlobe.

10. I have made out with a boy from every continent (except antarctica)

Now there's a boy I'd like to meet.

mr pedantic-pants kenko strikes again :)

*sigh* I mutilate the english language constantly. Love me, love my fuckups.

Can't say I'm a MeCha-er, but this shit is fascinating. I'll add my 10:

10: I've hand-modeled for the packaging of a turkey-caller

9: I've fooled around with a Congressman's daughter

8: My sister disappeared for 2 months on a pot/lsd binge.

7: My parents took their frustration about that on me

6: I was in France the night they won the World Cup in '98 (I danced in a fountain and shared a bottle of red wine with a girl in a sports bra)

5: I've also had the (not technically, but may as well have been) finace cheating with the best friend thing happen to me

4: I grew up watching yhbc's dad's commercials

3: I've had an argument about socialism in the booth that Karl Marx and Frederick Engels supposedly used to argue in (according to the plaque at the pub)

2: My father's a second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, a multiple marathon runner, and an alcoholic.

1: I know where Dallas Maverick Josh Howard lives.

2. I can't sleep unless I have a pillow to hold in my arms.

I've been trying to break that habit for years. I don't have the pillow, I feel like my arm that is supposed to be on top of it is in the way somehow. I have no idea how I got into the habit to begin with.

Wow, you guys are interesting. I think you already know too much, but I'll try-

10. My IQ is only because I am good at taking tests.
9. I am very private in person, and sort of shy.
8. I have a terrible temper, but almost no one knows.
7. I don't like to wear jewelry except for one earring that has been in for decades.
6. I truly have no sense of direction. I am always lost.
5. There is a twenty-eight year age difference between my two best friends. They don't know each other.
4. I hate to play games. It's just bad for everyone involved.
3. I had an article in the American Journal of Nursing.
2. I had my pocket picked in the elevator of the Eiffel Tower.
1. I drive like a maniac, but considerately.
0. I love you guys. Really, I do. You make me laugh, you lift me up, you make me think. I love hearing about your lives.

10. I am intensely jealous of mygothlaundry's #7. I love horses.
9. Until a few months ago, I was hypersensitive to red peppers.
8. I try to go to the opera at least once a year.
7. I can read 2 dead languages.
6. And speak 3 living ones (with varying degrees of sucess).
5. I'm a very skilled knitter.
4. I've never been further west in the US than Eastern Indiana.
3. I've performed in Carnegie Hall.
2. I can't read music.
1. One of my dearest wishes is to learn to play the harp.

For dg:

4. I have no appendix. It was removed when I was 9.

1. I currently have six piercings, two of which are visible when I'm dressed.
2. Aside from hiking-, running- and cycling-specific footwear, I pretty much only wear clogs.
3. The first time I went to college, I flunked out. The second time, I received a scholarship for my poetry.
4. As a teenager, I accidentally cut my thumb down to the bone. I've never completely regained feeling in it.
5. I have been hit by cars while riding bicycles on three separate occasions.
6. When I was doing grad-school coursework, I worked in an adult movie theater.
7. I've got somewhere in the neighborhood of 2000 records and CDs.
8. In an average day, I smoke three or four cigarettes.
9. I wear a beard.
10. Nobody I know is willing to play Trivial Pursuit with me any more.

This is a really interesting topic. Here's mine:

10. I won school spelling bees in second, third, fifth, and eighth grade.

9. I was in one episode of The People's Court in 1998. I was in the crowd at the Manhattan Mall and commented on the verdict of a case.

8. I have never broken a bone in my body.

7. I never learned how to ride a bicycle.

6. I was a virgin when I graduated high school.

5. One of my exes ran for Congress in 2002, as a third-party candidate (not in my state). He lost.

4. Both my parents were elected officials in my town: my mom was on the library board for 25 years, and my dad was a village trustee and then mayor.

3. If you do a Dow Jones search under my real name you'll find stories I wrote when I was an intern at Advertising Age in 1994.

2. My great-uncle, whom I never met (he died before my dad was born, I think) invented Rit Dye. (No, my family does not see any of that money.)

1. I believe in reincarnation.

I sense a MeCha trivial pursuit tournament coming on... (I too am reigning champ among my acquaintances. But I fear I'd lose to y'all.)

10. I once drove cross-country to Joshua Tree National Park, wrote a "goodbye" letter to the girl I loved and buried it in a Partegas cigar tube under a bush. Didn't take, though. I married her five years later.

9. I once wrote a screenplay that was shown around all over Hollywood. Every now and then I'll hear a joke in a movie and swear that it's mine.

8. I probably have more useless information stored in my head about "Saturday Night Live" than Lorne Michaels does.

7. When I was in High School I was the president of the "True Love Waits" club and the "Just Say No" club. I was also the president of the French club and I bankrupted the club when I spent four years worth of dues to take some of the club members to Europe. One of the highlights of my trip: I urinated off the top of the Eiffel Tower.

6. The first time I picked up a dead body, it was in the middle of the night, at an old plantation home that I later found out was built by my great-great grandfather. My lifelong dream is to own that house one day. At least four people have to die first, though.

5. I once participated in a national Elvis Impersonators competition in Memphis, TN.

4. If a bee or wasp stings me, I will die.

3. One Mardi Gras, on a bet, I ate nothing but KFC hot wings for three days and drank nothing but gin. I ate 98 wings. My goal was 100, but I gave away my last two to a girl who flashed me, but then turned out to be 14.

2. When my best friend's brother committed suicide in high school, I called her every day just to tell her I loved her. For a whole year. Even though I had to make twenty calls from Korea and Japan, I never missed a day.

1. My father was in "The Long Hot Summer" starring Paul Newman. You can see him standing in the background during the church picnic scene. When AMC did a retrospective on the film two summers ago, I was interviewed as an "expert" on William Faulkner and the movie and was featured in promos for the film. I couldn't believe how fat I looked on TV.

10) I once played the voice of Death in a cartoon about a seal born with human hands.

9) My younger brother is dating a Playboy model.

8) Earlier this month I was commissioned to write absurdist subtitles for the Turkish version of The Jeffersons.

7) Don Henley bought my childhood home to use as a clubhouse while he builds his gargantuan rock star palace.

6) My name appears in the movie MVP 2: Most Valuable Primate.

5) I love cats but am now allergic to them. D’oh!

4) My favorite foods when I was a kid are still my favorite foods: Pizza, Hamburgers, Tacos.

3) My father once edited home movies for the Philadelphia Mafia.

2) I can’t get enough of Melissa May’s song ‘Girls Sing.’ It’s Great!

1) Fans of Canadian Television take note: this November I am moving to Degrassi Street.

1. I grew up a block away from Bob Dylan. His mom and my mom were friends.

2. I've been married three times.

3. I had a contract put out on me once when I lived in Asia.

4. I'm diabetic.

5. I am really bad at remembering people's names.

6. I have an irrational fear of garbage disposals but I am pretty much over my fear of pencil sharpeners.

7. I halucinate when I take codeine in cough medicine.

8. I cannot tolerate the gas they give you at the dentist.

9. My first car was a '67 Cougar XR7.

10. Both of my brothers were grown and moved out of the house by the time I was born.

I would love to read ColdChef's screenplay.

1. My mother died of lung cancer.
2. I still smoke.
3. I fear any kind of drain / plughole / pool filter inlet.
4. I listen to AM radio.
5. I moved from a city of 1 million to a country town of 500, out of a desire to spit in the face of the population drain.
6. I will never drink Midori again.
7. I learnt the violin for 8 years, then quit it for the electric guitar.
8. When I was 11, I was so pissed off at another kid bullying me that I tried to beat his head in with a tent peg.
9. I love crunching ice cubes in my mouth.
10. The night after I met my (now) wife, I didn't sleep a wink.

1. I would have been Judith had it not been for the Donovan song.
2. The short form of my name is for Winston Churchill's mother.
3. I can not STAND being called by its first syllable.
4. I'm afraid of geese.
5.I share a birthday with the Unabomber.
6. I co-narrated the Betsy Ross story in front of the whole school in second grade.
7.I broke my collarbone when I was twelve.
8. I wanted to be Peter Pan when I was five.
9. I dressed up as Alex from A Clockwork Orange for Halloween my senior year in high school.
10. I'm allergic to jasmine and gardenias.

13) I've always been terrified of being trapped in a bathroom stall.

sorry to be over-indulgent, but i meant to include it on the original list.

Count me in too for Trivial Pursuit!

mudpuppie, you should move here then, where doors of toilet stalls must either open outward or have enough space inside to open the door even if there is someone slumped on the floor in front of the great white telephone to God. Even toilets in houses must either open outward or have doors that can be lifted off from the outside to avoid someone being trapped inside.

I too am a champion Trivial Pursuit player. One of my flatmates and I, as students, spent one weekend memorising the answer to every single question. No one knew why we were so goddamn good.

1. I have only ever been to two funerals.
2. I had two fingers amputated by lawnmower when I was 3.
3. Many people have independently concluded that I am a vampire.
4. I sneeze in sunlight.
5. I have read every James Bond novel written by Ian Fleming. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang was my favorite.
6. I have degrees with honor in Nuclear Engineering and Computer Science, I held various federal clearances for 20 years, I know how to never come up positive on a drug test.
7. My exwife actually believed I was possessed by a dead girlfriend.
8. With only 6 credits remaining toward a degree in German Literature, I dropped out of Penn State and enlisted in the US Marines.
9. Chances are very good that I will never fully repay my student loans.
10. I hate lima beans.

mischief, I've never been to a funeral or a wedding. No, really.

I would love to read ColdChef's screenplay.

Me too.

We need to find some kind of online Trivial Pursuit thing to do together. I consider myself "good", especially considering my #7 (lazy student).

and, good to see you, ufez!!!

How do people get to go through life without knowing anyone who dies? I have been to 9 funerals - 6 friends and 3 family.

1. I was born the same day that my alma mater was hooked up to ARPANET.
2. Both my grandfathers had last names that were invented not inherited, but for different reasons.
3. I prefer fruit to chocolate.
4. Several of the station break announcements for Captain Kangaroo were films of me as a kid.
5. I'm a 22nd generation American.
6. I recorded an album with some classmates when I was 12 and have done nothing musical since.
7. Growing up I was absolutely convinced and resigned to the fact that I would die at age 29.
8. I am 35.
9. I learned German with such a hick accent that when people ask if I'm fluent I lie and say no.
10. I have a secret collection of Star Wars action figures carefully packed in sealed monitor boxes in my mom's garage.

I know that I asked the question and then I got swept up in other things (read: workworkwork) before I could answer, but you guys are pretty incredible. Seriously, y'all: that's quite the list.

I'm also glad that cali is 35 because I just met her and she's a keeper.

10 Driving terrifies me; I've never had my license, nor have I taken the test. But bicycling in Downtown Los Angeles traffic excites me. I'm insanely good at driving games or go-kart tracks. I'm a skilled and careful off-road driver, even with a stick. The first time I drove a stick it was natural to me. Nonetheless, "normal" driving bothers me to the point of panic. It has hindered my life a great deal, but then, I'd probably be dead if I did drive. Being in a car at 50-60+ MPH on a freeway or busy street bothers me more than being in a plane. I get lost in thought and distracted very easily. I have piloted my bicycle into stationary, immobile objects in thought trances. But not lately.


9 I never graduated High School. I never even obtained my GED. I did obtain an AA in commercial design which is worth about as much as toilet paper. My IQ test scores range from 150-200, depending on the test and how alert I am. In grade school I tested at 191. I don't feel particularly smart or clever - much of my life feels like it is viewed through a sort of weird fog or mediated removal - and I certainly don't feel educated. I was nearly a straight F student from about the 2nd grade until I was "let go" from high school, except for a sprinkling of A+ grades in classes that interested me and/or teachers I had crushes on. I've made several teachers cry in frustration with my underachievement - and it bothers me to this day. I've also had them throw things at me. Things like desks.


8 I've never been hospitalized for anything. But my teeth are an unmitigated disaster and have been a source of nearly constant pain for more than five years. The rest of my health has been nearly flawless. I rarely get sick or catch cold.


7 I love to cook and I'm good at it. I frequently eat raw garlic. I love yogurt. I love whole cereals and oats. I don't think I could live without milk or cheese. I know I couldn't live without whole grains and cereals. I consume a nearly unbelievable amount of tobacco, coffee, and vodka on a weekly basis.


6 I met William Burroughs briefly. One of my oldest friends is related to Ray Bradbury. I read "1984" in the third grade, then I read it again. I've spoken at length with Laura Huxley, wife of the late Aldous Huxley. Nearly everyone in my immediate family is a published author including myself - but only barely. Most of my extended family are published authors as well. My favorite fiction author is Theodore Sturgeon.


5 I've been truly homeless more than three times in my life. I've eaten food from dumpsters. I've slept behind them. I've slept on roofs, in parking structures, in abandoned buildings, in ditches and under bushes. I once lived more than three months next to a freeway in a dirty hooch. Many of us in the camp lived off of thrown out McDonald's food - which does not spoil, even unrefridgerated. I however, I became very sick and probably almost died, possibly from pneumonia or scurvy. I started smoking there, and really started drinking there. Some friends found me lying more or less comatose and probably saved my life with a large sack of canned citrus juices.

The last time I was homeless was about 3 or 4 years ago. I lived in a gorgeous, slightly unspoiled arroyo and coastal canyon within 1 mile of my work at a university in one of the wealthiest (per-capita) cities in the United States. I kept my job, showering, shaving and doing laundry at various and slightly illicit places on campus. I found it very blissful and comforting, not to mention profitable.

I've never panhandled or begged.


4 I've seen things while stone cold sober that I can't rationally explain, including humanesque apparitions, objects moving when they shouldn't and unidentifiable objects in the sky - though I also believe these things aren't intrinsically related. I openly believe that thought and mind set can possibly effect objective reality - whatever that is. I openly believe that the manifestations of "love" and "hate" are tangible, real things. Likewise, I believe in "genuinism". I also am pretty firmly agnostic. There's something wholly "other" there - but not necessarily watching over us or influencing us. I believe that the universe is ultimately unknowable and that the universe is ultimately very strange.


3 Most of my family is multigenerational Mormon (LDS). My ancestors on one side descend from the infamous Donner Party. I started having serious doubts about the LDS church (and modern Christianity in general) before I was 8 years old - the age at which they baptize you if you grow up in the LDS church. Yet I still went through with it so I wouldn't break my grandfather's heart. I pretty much considered myself to be non-conforming or non-practicing from that age forward. Yet I've been in the Los Angeles and Salt Lake City temples and have done the "baptisms for the dead" ritual where they baptize ancestors by proxy. I even did four years of seminary and bible study. The Bible is really fucked up, except for the cogent bits that say "Be nice to each other".

I once had a particularly skeezy Sunday School teacher who was an LAPD detective who wore shirts too small over his enormous cop-gut tucked into his downward-pointing western belts and buckles who was very subtly but frequently lecherous with the young girls in my class. I enraged him to the point of pulsing neck and forehead veins, red faced with flying spittle and thrown chairs by asking the question "Is it wrong to think about Jesus or God when you masturbate?" It made me ridiculously happy to know I nearly killed him with his own outrage. I was twelve. He was an unrepentant asshole, and I've never felt bad about it.


2 I've done and experienced a fair number of deviant and non-mainstream things, sexual and otherwise. I've pierced myself; Once with a safety pin through my nipple. It took 3 hours and two trays of ice cubes. I don't have any tattoos. I've seen a naked man suspended horizontally by dozens of flesh hooks. I once watched a man pound a nail through his penis. I've never been to an orgy or swinger's party, or had a three or moresome. I've kissed more than one guy on the mouth. Once or twice on drunken dares at a really young age. Once out of curiosity or loneliness as an adult. Guys are icky and stubbly. I frequently wish I was a girl so I could be a lesbian and wear skirts and not shave. Pants suck. So does excessive amounts of body hair.


1 I'm almost 32 and I still really have no idea "what I want to do with my life" except wander and slack. I'm honestly surprised I lived past thirty. I have serious doubts about the stability of the United States and it's economy, as well as the stability of modern life in general. I also have very strong doubts about the validity and meaningfulness of it, if not at least the amount of honest satisfaction to be gleaned from it. My strongest yearning of all is for a probably unattainable utopia of fairness, sharing, creativity, knowledge and collective human growth. Sometimes this yearning makes me cry.

Late to the party, but...

1. My first celebrity crush was Olivia Newton John.

2. I have worn my front teeth down 30% thanks to grinding them and chewing ice.

3. My cats are named after a Charles Bukowski character and a Bill Hicks punchline.

4. Ever since I was a kid I have drawn toasters and blenders.

5. My wife refuses to play Monopoly with me because I've taken all the fun out it. (If you're ever in Chicago and want to play Monopoly, call me)

6. I've met the Stones, Seka, and McHammer. But not at the same time.

7. I'm a compulsive office and art supply buyer. I have a house full of abandoned notebooks, pens, folders, and travel bags.

8. I can remember thousands of bits of trivia about my favorite bands but I can't (accurately) remember lyrics.

9. I've never surfed, but I regularly read surf magazines and have watched every surf movie NetFlix has (or it's in my queue waiting).

10. I've never seen Gone With the Wind or an episode of 30-something, LA Law, Melrose Place, or ER.

1. I once fell/jumped from the back bumper of a tractor trailer headed for the highway at about 35 mph.

2. I once fell 20 feet from the top of an ancient Roman aqueduct.

3. I once started a fight that ended with three people in jail. I left immediately after throwing the first punch.

4. I once started a fight that ended with a soldier restoring the peace by climbing to the top of a boulder and firing three shots into the air with his M-16.

5. Twice I have been in deadly earthquakes while abroad.

6. I saw a man get electrocuted (yes, to death) when I was a kid.

7. I can set up your electric guitar so it plays like a dream. I can also fix your amplifier [zzzzZAP!].

8. In Christmas movies, whenever the kid delivers the "God bless us, every one" line or its equivalent, I cry.

9. I have been involved in an incredible love story.

10. I, like Slack-a-gogo, am a surf-obsessed non-surfer.

I'm going to do this again for real, instead of as a joke:


10) I own more than one gun, however I keep no guns in my home.

9) I have never shot an animal or a human being.

8) I have saved my own life and the lives of my family while sailing in the virgin islands and off the atlantic coast (Hauling down sails to avoid running into a sheer cliff after the engine failed with a strong lee wind while parents decided to commence loud vituperative informal divorce preceedings and narrowly avoiding collision with a nuclear submarine illegally running submerged except for its "sail" in costal waters)

7) My parents are divorced.

6) I have a younger sister who I love and worry about.

5) I very badly miss my godmother who died about two years ago, she was the most gentle saintly Irish woman I have ever know and she was capable of magic.

4) I have won two fights and lost one fight (badly) all the rest of the fights have been draws, according to witness consenus.

3) I know what Robin Williams smells like.

2) I am related to the world heavyweight champ boxer Ingemar Johanson who kicked the ass of and then had his ass kicked by Floyd Patterson, I am also releated to Greta Garbo.

1)Kurt Vonnegut once said I was "full of shit."

Sorry, Specklet. I thought twelve would go well with my 'failing math' comment. :)

For my penance, I will share more details I'm shy about:
16: My family used to own a bitchin' camaro until an old lady rear ended us. Then we owned a yellow station wagon for like 8 years.
15: My sister and I once made super hero costumes out of notebook paper and tape. I was twirling around in said costume, got dizzy, fell against a heating grate, and had to go to the emergency room to treat a large cut over my right eye. The doctors all made fun of me and my costume. I think I was about 5 or 6.
14: Technically speaking, she's my half sister, though she's not half a sister!
13: I once stuck Light Bright™ pegs up my nose and had to go to the emergency room to have them removed. Then, (oops) I did it again.

I too am down for the trivial pursuit.

i love this thread.

You all know that I am wicked good at anything with trivial in the title. Trivia is the very water that rushes past my gills.

To quote Cecil Adams: Trivial Pursuit? That's the story of my life.

Accurate quote: Trivial Pursuit--let me tell you, there's the story of my life.

Here's 11:

-When I was seven, practicing dressage for an upcoming show, I fell off and under my horse. She stepped on my head, breaking nine teeth and knocking me out. I still have the bump to show for it.

-Moths freak my shit out. So do large things in the water when I'm in the water next to them.

-I dream in color, but not always in English.

-I started going gray at 13.

-Without intending to, I once ate sushi every day for 1 year and 5 months. Best long term gustatory experience ever.

-I'm compelled to touch and smell nearly everything. Museums are an exercise in frustration for me.

-Souffle - no problem. Instant jello - complete failure. I don't know why.

-I have no sweet tooth to speak of, but I love salt. The best salts I've had include a pink salt from Peru and a blue salt from France.

-Growing up, wanted to be, in no particular order: a mailman, a truck driver and an astronaut.

-My first research and public speaking project was in the 3rd grade. I was assigned trilobites. I did my research and wrote my bit, but the day before psyched myself out and turned it over to my back up. When I watched him give my presentation, I knew I could have done so much better and felt bitter regret for the first time ever. I've known regret a number of times since, but never for not stepping up to the plate.

-Though disinclined to violence, I love the sound of breaking glass.

One Mardi Gras, on a bet, I ate nothing but KFC hot wings for three days and drank nothing but gin. I ate 98 wings. My goal was 100, but I gave away my last two to a girl who flashed me, but then turned out to be 14.

ColdChef, you are my idol.

And I'm not really a MeChatter either (until this morning), but:

1. I've been to about thirty-five states and I think twenty-eight countries.

2. I once was on a plane with Biff Henderson, in an elevator with former Secretary of Energy (and current NM governor) Bill Richardson, a different elevator with Angela Lansbury, an airport shuttle bus with Tommy LaSorda, in a bar with Chelsea Clinton (who spanked us in bar trivia), on a sidewalk with her father, a restaurant with Kathleen Battle, and at the adjacent urinal to Harvey Keitel. (I resisted the urge to look over -- I'd seen it already.)

3. I was on Jeopardy! in 2001.

4. I despise Brussels sprouts. Even when cooked with Julia Child's recipe, they're icky. So I've given up on them.

5. I was born in West Virginia, and thus know the difference between a hillbilly and a redneck.

6. I've interviewed They Might Be Giants, as well as many far crappier bands.

7. Things I wanted to be when I was a kid: a fireman, an NFL player, a dermatologist, an oilman.

8. I am none of those things now.

9. I nearly died in a boating accident ten years ago.

10. I can be a grammar and usage Nazi, but still get mixed up sometimes on "lay"/"lie".

Wow, loquacious. Thank you for sharing so much. Everybody.

I never graduated High School. I never even obtained my GED. I did obtain an AA in commercial design which is worth about as much as toilet paper.

Me too! ...Although, I did go on to get a BFA... Which so far has allowed me about two and a half years of work in my field.

I want to play Trivial Pursuit with you guys.

992 I once threw a paper airplane in Reno just to watch it fly.

You all are fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.

This is fascinating. I have questions for everybody later. Wow. A little staggering, some of this is.

Yeah, now we have to have a thread dedicated to every person and go over their lists with a fine toothed comb, and extra probing questions.

I'm kidding. Maybe.

1) I, too, cannot stand the smell of lilies. Like death, it is to me.
2) Since a very young age, I have had to periodically fight off hypochondriac notions that I was suffering from a degenerative brain disorder.
3) Long ago, before my marriage, I made love to the wife of my then-best-friend. The friend had a tacit understanding that such was taking place at the time. At last google, they are still married, with children, living in UT.
4) My life has been a near-continuous stream of obsessions with various topics and people, punctuated with troughs of mild depression between.
5) I love to write, but do not write often enough.
6) At a very young age, I ran into a lake shouting "I can swim!". I could not.
7) In high school, I had a beard and was the guy who made the liquor purchases.
8) Long ago, one of my obsessions (see 4) was firearms. I cannot imagine owning, or wanting to own one now, yet I could still field strip a M1911A1 from memory.
9) In my pre-Columbine junior high, my then-best-friend (different from 3 above) developed an elaborate plan to raid our school and nearby mall with explosives and gunplay. All involved knew it was a fantasy. If we were jr high students today, we would be arrested.
10) I have tried marijuana three times, and gone the paranoid way each time. I have never tried any other drugs, except my first love, alcohol, whom I revisit regularly.
11) My wife and I have been married 10 years this past summer, and I am shocked at how fast it has gone and that I actually do love her more now.

1.- I hate talking on the phone.
2.- I use an average of 1,000 minutes monthly on my cellphone. This is only outgoing calls.
3.- I scored 1,589 out of 1,600 on my SATs.
4.- I flunked out of college. Twice.
5.- I finished college in seven years, spent about three of them drunk (see #4)
6.- I'm not shy, but I'm a very quiet person.
7.- I have over 500 numbers on my cellphone, all of them from friends.
8.- Once in Vegas, I gambled for 19 hours straight, while drinking all the time. At my average of three drinks per hour, I must have had close to sixty drinks. I never remembered how much money I lost.
9.- I haven't done any work all morning.
10.- I despise Instant Messaging.
11.- Even though I mostly lurk (see #6), I check MeCha and MeFi at least twice a day.

1) I shave my chest and my pubic hair - I'd take it all off if it wasn't such a hassle, because I really don't like body hair except for on the head, but then I think about how cold the Illinois winters can be . . .
2) I had a foursome once with a buddy at the time, his girlfriend, and another friend of ours. It was a great time.
3) I am borderline obsessive about sex.
4) I used to steal LPs from the local Christian bookstore.
5) I stole from my church as well.
6) I love the smell of campfire, or lilacs.
7) I would die for my wife in a heartbeat.
8) I smoke lots of the herb, maybe too much.
9) I'm back from our honeymoon.
10) I'm a bit of an exhibitionist, and loved walking around at the spa in nothing but a robe.
11) I'm vain.

Good point, gaspode, but can I at least ask why the hell you didn't find someone in Antarctica to make out with, just to round it out (as it were)? And how does one make a flute from a straw? Those were the two biggies and I'll leave it at that.

11. I've been to one funeral/rosary. I didn't know her, she was a co-worker's mother. Several family members have died but for various reasons I have not been to any of the funerals/memorials.
12. My test scores were so high in fifth grade I could have graduated high school. I also test fairly high IQ-wise (146) but all I know is that I don't know much.
13. I never graduated high school nor received a GED. I quit in 12th grade with one credit to go.
14. I'm related to Bing Crosby, Helen Hunt Jackson and Stonewall Jackson.
15. It was unintentional the one and only time I tried an illicit drug - I was eight and it was a pot brownie.

This is truly fascinating, bunnies. I wish we could have a big meetup and chat about all of this and more.

6. I was a virgin when I graduated high school.

I got that beat: I was a virgin when I met my wife (and we're still married after 21 years and she's still the only one I've had sex with).

1. I can wiggle my ears.
2. My brother and sister are possessed by a evil entity.
3. I believe every word of Carlos Casteneda.
4. My dad told me,weeks before he died, that heaven and hell is right here in this life.
5. Henry Miller is one of my heroes.
6. My grandmother stopped talking to all her children when one of her sons died. (she was an American Indian and believed her words killed him.)
7. I used to ride my motorcycle on acid. (i won't get on one now.)
8. I simply dropped my life and cut all ties to photograph in the Rocky mountains for 4 months.
9. I like where I am right now.
10. I lived in a school bus and mail van for seven years,in both the city and the wilderness. The gypsy life was very good.

Because others ansewrs compel me to do so:

6. I was a virgin when I graduated high school.

Me too. I was pissed. But I made up for it by scoring twice in my first semester of college.

I also test fairly high IQ-wise (146) but all I know is that I don't know much

I had one test that said mine was 145, one said 127. You can refer to me as either "genius" or "dumbass," as per your caprice.

Also, I'm not (even distantly) related to anyone famous or interesting. I come from a long line of prosaic middle-of-the-roaders.

10) I have tried marijuana three times, and gone the paranoid way each time. I have never tried any other drugs, except my first love, alcohol, whom I revisit regularly.

I've used marijuana well over a hundred times, although unless it's accompanied by alcohol, it makes me paranoid. I've done acid twice, cocaine three times, and Percocet and Vicodin on occassion.

Marijuana, out of the very many times I have used it, made me paranoid exactly once (about 8 mo ago), and the experience was so horrible I have avoided it ever since.

I don't put a lot of trust into IQ tests, jonmc. I've met some pretty stupid "intelligent" people and vice versa. I do regret my lack of education, not my lack of diploma. I'm always working on educating myself.

I sometimes regret my lack of drug experimentation. Mostly because I have no real reference point when people are talking about it. My family has a really strong history of addiction, so it's just as well I've never gone done that road.

Doohickie, I am so glad that you're still here. That's really romantic.

Oh, puddinghead,.... I'm sorry 'bout that. I've felt bad interacting with you here ever since I tried to say a crush on another woman was harmless.... and it wasn't. I guess I live in fairy tale land.

Now I think I probably come across as pround of my premarital chastity. But at the time, I was just this guy who couldn't score.

Doohickie, I never gave it a thought. I have crushes on other people all the time that I don't act on. It's part of being human on many levels, mostly good (I think it keeps one hawt). Things are falling apart for another reason altogether, as it turns out. That was just a symptom.

And about you, I wasn't thinking in terms of chastity. I was thinking how lovely that you belong together in that way. I love that you love her.

Garsh!

Okay, enough of this mutual admiration. And absolute NO crushes.

Okay?

I sent a friend to this thread as I thought it was fascinating. She agreed and said, "I can't believe you didn't tell them that you don't use soap." So, there it is. I hate soap. (Though I do use shampoo on my hair and toothpaste on my teeth and occasionally soap on visible filth. But using soap daily, in the shower? I think that's disgusting.)

Thanks again to everyone for posting on this thread. It's been much fun and I've gotten the biggest kick reading what people have shared. I also love that a number of new voices piped up and fancy the thought that I perhaps popped a MeCha cherry or two.

I've said it before an I'll say it again: rockstars, all y'all.

FMD! I only just found this thread. I will have to lay a day or so aside to actually read it.

If I haven't contributed can I still be a rockstar? I admit it's just for the chicks...well....and the money. Just for the chicks and the money. Well, I'd like to throw a tv out of a window. So, it's the chicks, the money AND the tv. I will retune return.

peacay, you've been a rockstar from the very begininng, rest assured.

1. I can turn my toes underneath my feet and walk on the tops of them. I used to do it all the time as a kid just because I could and as a result I had large, thick calluses on top of several of my toes. I eventually broke the habit.

2. Halloween is my favorite holiday but I have not done anything fun on Halloween since my early teens. I never could think of anything that was worthwhile. Costume parties sounded stupid, as did just about anything else I could think of. Once or twice I watched horror movies with a friend but it was extremely unsatisfying and boring to me. I keep saying that I will at least decorate in front of the house and let kids trick or treat or something, but I never seem to have that much free time until winter rolls around. I still would like to do that, or at least SOMETHING this year, but I have no ideas. I do however go all out for Christmas and I buy more lights and decorations every year. Last year it took me several days working most of each day to get everything up.

3. I love sunflower seeds. I can buy a big bag full of them and they will be gone in no time at all. I could become as big as a blimp just eating sunflower seeds and drinking Mountain Dew, both of which I try to avoid as much as possible.

4. I like storm chasing although I didn’t go any this year. I saw my first tornado on top of a flattop mountain (the largest, I believe) in Grand Junction, Colorado. They were talking about the tornado on the radio when I went into a gas station and a truck driver inside was listening and ranting about how Colorado did not have tornadoes, despite everyone seeing it.

5. Over the last few years I have spent most of my time and money on my gardening hobby. I have planted hundreds of trees, shrubs, bulbs and perennials. I am working on a website cataloging all of my plants, picturing them and describing their growth habit/requirements/etc. But with hundreds and hundreds of plants it is taking me forever just to get a page set up for each of them. I haven’t had time to work on it at all lately, I hope to get back to it when the cold weather hits. I keep the tags that come with plants I buy and currently have five shoeboxes full of them.

6. I didn’t go to high school. I started having a lot of problems with my stomach/digestive system, excessive tiredness and anxiety in junior high. I quit in the second semester of the ninth grade. I had all sorts of tests ran on me, the only things they found wrong with me were an enlarged spleen and low thyroid level. I eventually saw a doctor who slapped the chronic fatigue syndrome label on me and that was that. I hardly left the house for several years because I always felt terrible and it made me too nervous to even go out to eat. As the years passed my energy levels improved although even now I do not feel as good as I did before this all began.

7. A few years ago I stopped doing much of anything with my friends and began more and more of a “loner” and found activities to do without others around. Driving at night was one of my favorite things to do and I would sometimes go driving from midnight or so until three or four in the morning. I enjoyed the dark and the quiet, and the traffic-free roads. I was staying up all night most of the time and sleeping during the day, so I was usually either doing that or out walking around in the dark, which was never too bright since I used to live outside of town and it was not infrequent that I heard packs of coyotes crossing the road a quarter mile from my house. Since that little phase I have mostly kept to myself and although I’m not so antisocial now, I have found it impossible to relate to other people in quite the same way as I once did and it would be a miracle if I were to ask someone out on a date at this point.

8. I have never been inside of a bar or nightclub.

9. I have a thing for natural redheads.

10. I have never tried to dance.

11. I hate spiders, especially when I encounter them in the house. I can pick up snakes with no problem and I can look at spiders outside and not be too bothered, but if I see one in the house I freak out and kill it as soon as possible, and I practically come unglued if I am working outside and a spider gets on my leg or something.

12. Empire Strikes Back has been my favorite movie for as long as I can remember, although I didn’t like the Prequels very much.

13. I have never seen the ocean.

14. I have only been bowling once and my first roll was a strike.

15. Being around cigarette smoke, even for a short time, has roughly the same effect on me as a sinus infection or head cold and lasts a day or two afterwards.

16. Although they should be moving soon, I live about a block from the family that has been mentioned on Metafilter several times because they have over a dozen kids and keep having more.

I would like to get slowly and pleasantly drunk with many of you, even the non-drinkers. This is my highest compliment.

taz:

2. My husband calls me "poopy", and I call him "poopy", too

Me too. I never ever thought I would admit that in public.

this really is the most fascinating thread ever. : >


1. I cry also when other people around me that i know cry. (i don't even have to particularly like them that much either)
2. I do tons of things right-handed and badly even tho i'm left-handed, bec. there was no one to teach me how
3. I'm one of the clumsiest people around, and stumble just walking down the street if i don't pay attention.
4. I have never even held a real gun, nor do i ever want to, let alone shoot one.
5. I've never lived in a house--only apartments--so have never mowed a lawn or had a backyard or anything like that.
6. I've never lived anywhere outside NYC (and didn't even go away to college).
7. It took me more than 10 years to get my Bachelor's--went mostly at night and worked all day.
8. I was exempted from Columbia's School of General Studies English Comp class due to a (fabulous) essay i wrote about the social scene and critiquing at FIT's cafeteria (back in 87)
9. Almost daily i wonder what the friends i had back then would be doing with themselves if they were alive today (only 3 out of 20ish of us still are).
10. I can pick up pencils with my toes. : >