It can be done, but you must have patience. Assuming you are in the U.S., you must enter one of these branches of military: Army, Marine Corps, or Air Force, serve with distinction and, 20 or 30 years later, achieve the rank of "Major General", at which point you will automatically know how to write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform.

Alternatively, you could just switch launderers.

if you're lucky, the man will suddendly disappear, and maybe an English speaker will replace him

It seems your laundry is being run by members of the axis of evil. You need to inform the DHS as it could be a front much like that in The Man From Uncle. Once the DHS invade and regime change has been achieved don't be surprised if it turns into a Starbucks. You'll still have wrinkly clothes but at least you'll be safe and you'll have a delicious cup of coffee.

Hey, ortho.

Enter the words you'd like translated into the "name" field, then hit inscribe.

aw... it only translates up to four letters at a time. sry.

What you need is cuneiform "sign lists".

You can't just write cuneiform. You have to inscribe it in clay tablets, then bake them, then transport them (carefully!) to your laundry. Make sure not to leave your instructions in a shirt pocket, as dryers are hell on terracotta.