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I've been getting unwanted email from a sugar-free site, diabetics.com or something. The "unsubscribe" link contained in their emails doesn't work, so I've been writing them emails requested to unsubscribe me. I got a response back from this guy who said that I was removed. (He was also a little condescending, and insinuated that I didn't know how to work the link.) But I got more emails, and the link still wasn't working. So I wrote another email.
Me:
Re: unsubscribe
This is my third request.
Your "unsubscribe" button does not work, and I have been told by you personally that I would be removed from this list.
My patience is at an end. I have no interest in your products at all; I am not diabetic.
Please remove me from this list immediately!
Him:
ok...
dont know who you are, as this is the 1st time I have ever heard from you, I simply went to my website and "unsubscribed" for you.. and it worked!
no clue why you could not do this yourself....
I realize that receiving an occasional email from us could drive you to your wits end, after all I have sent over 1 email per month, and that is quite taxing on one's email account!
really we dont want you on our list....
and all i had to do was unsubscribe you email from the list... technology what a concept...
Me:
This is exactly what you said last time.
The link in your email to unsubscribe gives me a 404 error every time.
I don't appreciate your sarcasm. Do you think I would fabricate my story and my frustration?
As I mentioned eariler, I am not diabetic, but my aunt is, and I believe I'll CC her on this message in hopes that she will not patronize your website.
Him:
do what you must cc her is you wish, your email to me was not full of sarcasm but quite over the top in anger, if ONE email or TWO in a 60 day period is causing you a mental breakdown, i am sorry...
you have been removed
Me:
Wow. I was not angry but simply frustrated at receiving unwanted email.
I advise you to not take life so seriously.
Him:
i dont... your getting one or two emails caused you to say "My patience is at an end" that sounds like an amazing reaction to an email (that aint porn or drugs) for some sugar free candy..
I just don't want him to get the last word. Please hope me.
"Hey buddy. If every site I've visited and successfully unsubscribed from insisted on being as technologically backwards as you are, then I'd be wading through unwanted emails 24 hours of the day. Luckily, most of the websites I visit have competent administrators, so you're right, your insignificant monthly spam doesn't really cause me any problems."
Here's the deal.
I've asked you on several occasions to unsubscribe me.
I've tried to use your badly designed website to unsubscribe myself.
I'm still receiving emails.
So buttwad. Get a fucking grip and remove me from your mailing list before I get legal advice.
********************
okay pornporn drugs i like me wanta some can u giv me porndrugs me wantee good good i make good porndrugs can u hope me with porndrugs i ride bus good thanking you u you
********************
If you deny him a coherent reply, you raise yourself above the stupidity of the argument and his power disappears.
"Maybe you're right; perhaps one or two emails a month is really not a big deal. So, I suppose you wouldn't mind receiving one or two emails a month from a few of my associates?
You may not be interested in every product they are promoting, but since it's not a big deal, maybe you wouldn't mind at least taking a look at what they are offering? If you change your mind, and don't want to receive these emails for any reason, just go to http://www.address.com/optout.html to remove yourself from the list. Enjoy!"
Sir: I considered being sweet about your puzzling indifference to my simple request, but I didn't want to send you into a coma. So, I do apologize! Really, you have the nicest site ever, and a wonderfully unique spelling style that I'm sure wins you much approbation in the chat rooms you frequent. Oh, and have you seen kittenwar.com? It's sooooo cute! I think you'd enjoy it nearly as much as a heaping bowl of delicious ice cream, if only you could have one. Much love from your ardent admirer, Specklet.
I wonder if theres a problem with your email client?
Or if you're on a different list to the one he provides (e.g. an affiliate sending you emails)
I think this deserves more investigation before we go vampire bunny on his ass.
Yeah, I wasn't really gonna go vampire bunny, I just wanted something witty to say... And it's possible that there's something up with my email client, but he didn't unsubscribe me like the first time I asked. If I get another email in a month, I'll get medieval on his ass.
For now I think I'll go with insulting his administrator skills.
I think this deserves more investigation before we go vampire bunny on his ass.
Even if the unsub button does work the guy still acted like a douchebag. Specklet never asked to be on his mailing list which means that he doesn't confirm subscriptions to his list which automatically makes me suspicious of his email practices. She made several poilte requests to get off the list and was ignored. And when she rightfully got a little frustrated that she wasn't being heard the guy showed his ass. I have diabetics in the family and I buy gifts online but this is one business that will never get one cent of my money.
My reply (seanyboy, I hope you don't mind that I shamelessly cut and pasted from your comment):
Hey buddy. If every site I've visited and successfully unsubscribed from insisted on being as technologically backwards as you are, then I'd be wading through unwanted emails 24 hours of the day. Luckily, most of the websites I visit have competent administrators, so you're right, your insignificant monthly spam doesn't really cause me many problems.
Incidentally, are you familiar with the CAN-SPAM act? Might want to check it out.
http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/buspubs/canspam.htm
Specklet, was the unsubscribe link at the bottom of these messages split into two lines in your mail reader? That will often cause just this problem. You click the link but your mailer is only interpreting the first half of it (the part before the line break) as the URL, and the request comes back 404 because it points at something that doesn't exist. Kinda like this:
Will return a "not found" error if you click it. Some mailers do this with long URLs, and it can happen elsewhere along the line before it gets to you.
(He was also a little condescending, and insinuated that I didn't know how to work the link.)
He was a lot condescending and an absolute arsehole to boot. Kill him.
Don't get me wrong. The guy's a prat; he deserves to be played with.
Although, (And you'll have to forgive the "understanding" side of my nature coming out) the guy is a diabetic. And my experience of diabetics is that the diabetes can sometimes fuck with their brains and make them a bit ... short.
Hmmm. As someone who runs a few mailinglists over the past seven years where subscribers had to confirm themselves before being subscribed, and yet still receiving emails sounding much like Specklets first email there (about unsub link not working and emailing me about it before, even though I've never seen such a mail) I wouldn't do what that guy did. I learned to not say a word, just unsub people. Maybe send them (or have the system send them) a confirmation about the succesful unsubscribing from the list. I have no reason to believe that Specklet wasn't telling the truth, I'm just saying that a lot of idiots have pissed in the pool by not being quite so truthful (on both mailinglist admin and mailinglist subscribers end). In the end you're better off not even discussing it - just kill the unwanted mail some way.
Being on the receiving end of strange mailinglists that I knowingly never even considered subscribing to (the hostmaster adress is not an email I would use when subscribing to mailinglists, do'h!) I do these two steps:
1) Spamcop the mailinglist mails.
2) Ban the adress from email my server via sendmails /etc/mail/access list - often spicing up my reject message with cusswords. I keep it here if you fancy a larf.
I'd won an auction on eBay once and as a consequence ended up on some obnoxious mailing list. I tried to unsubscribe several times to no avail and continued to get at least one e-mail a day. Luckily one the great features of my favoured e-mail client, The Bat, is that it can filter e-mails before downloading them so I just put a filter on anything from their domain. Nifty.
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