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29 July 2005

I ate potted meat 4 hours ago... ...and now I don't feel good.
What is potted meat, exactly? Or is that one of those questions I'll regret having answered?
posted by bmarkey 29 July | 21:14
Here's the ingredients: mechanically separated chicken, partially defatted cooked pork fatty tissue, partially defatted cooked beef fatty tissue, vinegar, less than 2% of salt, spices, sugar, flavorings, sodium erythobate and sodium nitrate. A 3 ounce can cost me twenty eight cents.
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies 29 July | 21:20
was it expired? the can dented?

bmarkey: this stuff, i think
posted by amberglow 29 July | 21:21
Think SPAM, bmarkey, and watch all your regrets come true.

Go get you a 7UP, darling, and then sleep it off. And next time you want something potted, try a nice spider plant!
posted by melissa may 29 July | 21:21
Nope, it just was what it was. Does that stuff actually expire? I am in Idaho right now Melissa, potted is more than just an adjective here, it's a state of blonde-haired life.
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies 29 July | 21:23
mechanically separated chicken, partially defatted cooked pork fatty tissue, partially defatted cooked beef fatty tissue, vinegar, less than 2% of salt, spices, sugar, flavorings, sodium erythobate and sodium nitrate


Those are some hard-core eats, my friend. You are brave.
posted by bmarkey 29 July | 21:27
If I die, you can have my stuff bmarkey. Just give my spider plant to Melissa.
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies 29 July | 21:29
of course it expires--everything with meat in it does, eventually.
posted by amberglow 29 July | 21:30
You're right amberglow, the can says on the bottom "Best used by Nov042007". Although that doesn't exactly mean it would be expired, just less tasty.
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies 29 July | 21:34
Not to sound crass, but I also want your collection of vintage erotica, particularly the postcards labelled "French."
posted by melissa may 29 July | 21:34
I already had you earmarked for the postcards labelled "Albania".
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies 29 July | 21:36
A friend of mine used to collect that stuff.

My advice: Don't eat anything that's collectible.
posted by mudpuppie 29 July | 21:44
it really shouldn't be in your stomach anymore, so there's no point in trying to puke. do you have the jruns? I'd take an imodium, then.
try drinking a nice warm herbal tea, maybe pop a Maalox

sometimes I just eat an apple, peeled, and feel better
posted by matteo 29 July | 21:44
Shouda had a tin of Vienna Sausages, or as they have always been called in my Southern family, Vy-eeen-a Sausages.
posted by bunnyfire 29 July | 21:46
Man, I hope I don't have the jruns, I'll NEVER get rid of them.

I got a can of Vyeenas too bunny, just working up the nerve to open them up.
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies 29 July | 21:52
maybe save those for tomorrow?
posted by amberglow 29 July | 21:55
Or next week.
posted by bmarkey 29 July | 21:58
or just keep it on the back of a shelf in case of emergency. : >
posted by amberglow 29 July | 22:00
Or maybe just, y'know, bury them in the backyard.
posted by bmarkey 29 July | 22:02
or feed it to a neighbor's dog who always bites you or something?
posted by amberglow 29 July | 22:06
Well, they're barbeque flavored. How is a person supposed to say no to that?
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies 29 July | 22:06
They have barbecues in Vienna? I did not know that.
posted by bmarkey 29 July | 22:09
they bbq all those Vienna Boys Choir kids when their voices change. ; >
posted by amberglow 29 July | 22:17
Hence the sausages. And the circle is complete.
posted by bmarkey 29 July | 22:19
lol!
posted by amberglow 29 July | 22:20
Partially defatted cooked beef fatty tissue??? What the hell is that? Yes, yes, I understand that it's obviously some fatty beef tissue that was previously more fatted than it is now, but what does it all MEAN?

No, no, I've changed my mind. I don't want to know. Don't tell me. Please. I'm so sorry, never mind.
posted by puddinghead 30 July | 00:15
I can't believe no one's linked to Steve, Don't Eat It yet.
posted by puke & cry 30 July | 00:18
OK, I'm back. I also don't want to know about the partially defatted pork, so don't tell me about that either. Was this an actual food product that one can just go and buy like a regular person? This is allowable under the regulations of civilized countries?

Doesn't sodium nitrate explode? Thus the jruns? OK, that's it. I'm not talking about this anymore. Sorry. Really. I'm dropping it now.
posted by puddinghead 30 July | 00:20
POTTED MEAT FOOD PRODUCT: Made By, For, And With Assholes.
posted by puke & cry 30 July | 00:27
i bet it really is dog food that they put a new label on.
posted by amberglow 30 July | 00:35
oh gross

(thanks, aptly named puke & cry)
posted by amberglow 30 July | 00:42
puddinghead: I think it's sort of a conceptual food. You're supposed to think about it - where it comes from, how it's made, etc. - rather than actually consuming it. As DeepFriedTwinkies as discovered.
posted by bmarkey 30 July | 00:52
Just one last thing, then I'll move on, but I am also agitated by the MECHANICALLY separated chicken... what is that, for the love of God? I can't even bear to think about it. Like, what, this is too gross for humans to touch? I don't know. I don't want to. This whole Zen of concept food is just to much for me.
posted by puddinghead 30 July | 01:54
From puddinghead's link:

Potential Health Effects
----------------------------------

Ingestion:
May cause gastroenteritis and abdominal pains. Other symptoms may include dizziness, bloody diarrhea, convulsions, and collapse. Purging and diuresis can be expected. Small repeated doses may cause headache and mental impairment. Rare cases of nitrates being converted to the more toxic nitrites have been reported, mostly with infants.


Well now I have to try it.
posted by bmarkey 30 July | 01:55
But did you eat it on a twinkie?

You could scoop out the creamy filling and replace it with meat.
posted by loquacious 30 July | 07:29
Mechanically Separated Poultry is a paste-like poultry product produced by forcing crushed bone and tissue through a sieve or similar device to separate bone from tissue.

source

wikipedia adds "at high pressure".

so they take all the chicken bits they can't use, crush them up, and squeeze them in a metal box with a mesh at one end. whatever oozes out is "mechanically separated poultry".

yummy.
posted by andrew cooke 30 July | 09:56
In short, this is the stuff nobody could nerve themselves up to putting in the sausage.
posted by warbaby 30 July | 10:07
aww, man, i was finally trying to put fome food in my facehole
this was all very amusing but not good for the appetite
posted by ethylene 30 July | 11:11
so they take all the chicken bits they can't use, crush them up, and squeeze them in a metal box with a mesh at one end. whatever oozes out is "mechanically separated poultry".

They also use some of that stuff in McNuggets, and in most chicken products in a cute, unnatural shape.
posted by amberglow 30 July | 11:24
Well, I have survived the day and am intrigued by the concept of a Twinkiedog, although not enough to actually try one. I will bribe a teenage boy to try one I think, they will eat anything.

posted by DeepFriedTwinkies 30 July | 12:05
good to hear, Deep : >
posted by amberglow 30 July | 12:55
Thank goodness you're OK, DeepFriedTwinkies, I had visions of you exploding. Could you have a salad next time?
posted by puddinghead 30 July | 17:58
of course it expires--everything with meat in it does, eventually.

You mean I'm a gonna die!!??!! :-(
posted by Cryptical Envelopment 30 July | 19:28
sorry, CE--but yup. You're even slowly decomposing as we speak. ; >
posted by amberglow 30 July | 19:44
Howcome the Farscape people, || Come and show off your massive Broca's Area!

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