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CASPER VAN DIEN!

posted by Smart Dalek 29 June | 17:43

Ben Affleck.

posted by amberglow 29 June | 17:43

I second Affleck. bad, bad juju

posted by matteo 29 June | 17:50

Keanu, or however he spells it.

posted by PinkStainlessTail 29 June | 17:59

Do Stephen Dorff and Stewart Townsend count? They might just be horrible actors.

posted by dualaction 29 June | 18:11

Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise.

posted by carter 29 June | 18:46

Tom Cruise, Sharon Stone and Freddie Prinz Jr.

posted by arse_hat 29 June | 18:53

Even in Collateral?

posted by kenko 29 June | 18:55

Have not bothered to see it.

posted by arse_hat 29 June | 19:01

Keanu and Tom Cruise.

I also cannot take anything seriously that Brad Pitt's in, if I see it in a theater. At one point during the awful "Troy", all I could think about was that I was watching a fifty foot tall Brad Pitt head on the screen.

posted by interrobang 29 June | 19:06

Christian Slater and Patrick Swayze.

posted by mudpuppie 29 June | 19:09

What about actors that are consistently in good movies, but you still hate them anyway, and wonder how such a horrible actor could be cast in such a wonderful film? Like Katie Holmes or Liam Neeson.

posted by muddgirl 29 June | 19:13

Cruise is pretty good in Collateral, but I think it's cause he was playing himself(crazy borderline sociopathic robot), ditto for magnolia. Plus he's got the whole top gun and risky business thing going for him, cult classics, so bad it's good. Slater in Heathers was magic, Swayze in Road House, Neeson in Next of Kin but those are once again cult classics. Neeson was brilliant in Michael Collins, however. Pitt in Se7en was pretty good, I think he's too pretty to be accepted as a good actor, but I find him ok, not brilliant (but he does irk me for some reason). Affleck is poison, but I bet somewhere down deep an OK guy, just poisoned by money and J Lo. For me it's Dorff fer sure, bad news bears all around. Russel Crowe, despite the fact that I liked him in LA Confidential, Master and Commander and Romper Stomper is the person who most makes me ill and spoils movies for me.

posted by Divine_Wino 29 June | 19:23

Liam Neeson

Oh yes. I'm so happy to know that I am not the only person in the world who thinks Neeson is a terrible actor. I hear people gush over him and I just don't get it. I want to grab them and shake them and yell, "Didn't you see Next of Kin? Patrick Swayze acted rings around him for Pete's sake! Patrick Swayze!"

posted by LeeJay 29 June | 19:28

But Neeson has a huuuugggggeeeeee peeenasssse! So he wins.

posted by Divine_Wino 29 June | 19:32

I also get a major Scientology stink out of Kevin Spacey, but I don't know why. He's an awful actor, though. I gon't get the appeal.

Oh, and I don't understand why James Woods is thought of as a good actor, either.

posted by interrobang 29 June | 19:32

Weird - I just watched Dog Soldiers.

posted by seanyboy 29 June | 19:41

besides the point:
i saw part of the trailer for King Kong and all i could think was "why is Jack Black in a pith helmet with Adrien Brody?" and then "oh, Peter Jackson"

which is the inverse reaction to wondering who the hell the guy playing Mr. Fantastic is.

i do have Cruisephobia but it doesn't stop me.
oh, yeah, Capser is a stopper. i don't know if i've been ever able to give him a chance.
Same with Steven Segal and Van Dammmm.
i can't watch Bush in more than ten second clips.
Jim Belushi is a sign of badness but that's sometimes good.
Angel's Dance is a bad movie i heart.
But that's probably because i like Sheryl Lee.

posted by ethylene 29 June | 20:05

what's their faces too, from SNL--Jimmy Fallon! ugh! Will Ferrell!!!!! uggghhhhhh!

and David Spade, Rob Schneider, "Corky Romano", etc...

posted by amberglow 29 June | 20:18

Mickey Rourke, but that's too easy. (Though I liked him in Diner.)
Even when Tom Cruise is an asshole, he's too "Tom Cruise" about it. Those types of characters should at least be compelling, if not likable. He's just... himself.
Oh, and Dennis Miller-- I know he hasn't had many movie roles, but that dj he played in Joe Dirt made that already horrible movie twice as vile. If he manages to get another talk show I'll cut my cable line.

posted by maryh 29 June | 20:42

dennis Miller has way overshot his miller time

now i feel bad for sean pertwee
he's never gonna have that maggie smith role in "clash of the titans" now

posted by ethylene 29 June | 20:53

Tom Hanks, Jim Belushi, Dan Ackroyd, Seth Green, Coln Farrell, Jude Law, Bett Midler, Cher, Stephen Dorff, Mary Steenburgen, Andie McDowell, Vin Diesel, Robert De Niro post-1989 and with the exception of Heat, Nicole Kidman in a comedy, Natalie Portman with the exception of Beautiful Girls, Harrison Ford, Pauly Shore, most of the cast of Empire Records, Joan Cusack, Jim Carrey, Jerry Seinfeld, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sting, Robin Williams, Rob Schneider, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Rene Zelleweger, Mel Gibson, Ann Magnuson, any Culkin... I could keep going.

In addition, I won't pay to see movies directed by Joel Schumacher, David Cronenberg, Tom Shadyac, Don McKellar, Atom Egoyan, Bruce Macdonald, Patricia Rozema, and Taylor HACKford or films written by Akiva Goldsman or Joss Wheadon.... though I'll watch them for free so I can make fun of them later.

Sure, most of these people have exceptions, but my money's usually on "shit" and I'm usually right.

posted by dobbs 29 June | 20:54

ok, go after bruce Campbell. i dare ya

posted by ethylene 29 June | 20:57

i have never given eric roberts a chance

posted by ethylene 29 June | 20:58

I'm sure people will disagree, but Bill Murray. His glibness is just incredibly off-putting to me (his work with the immensely more talented Gild Radner in the "Nerds" sketches on SNL notwithstanding).

posted by jonmc 29 June | 20:58

i have never seen a rambo or a die hard
and seth green tries, dammit, or use to
i doubt he's gonna go all nicholas cage on us
ann has a life
and don't hurt Don mcKellar or i have you get some canadians to visit, eh?

posted by ethylene 29 June | 21:03

i have never seen a rambo or a die hard

The first Die Hard is actually a lot of fun, since Bruce Willis' reluctant hero shtick hadn't become a cliche yet, and there's a few genuinely hilarious moments. I'm just sayin'.

posted by jonmc 29 June | 21:05

Drew Barrymore
Meg Ryan
Don Johnson

posted by iconomy 29 June | 21:19

I just drank a shot of Ukranian Honey-Pepper vodka that I picked up in Brighton Beach (NYC's Little Odessa) this weekend. That stuff is easily the roughest shot I've ever done in my life and I've done Bacardi 151 shots. The aftertaste is nice, though.

posted by jonmc 29 June | 21:43

So you're saying that Honey West and Sgt. Pepper Anderson are lousy actresses?

posted by iconomy 29 June | 21:48

No, he's saying that he's a drunk, in a thread about actors.

posted by interrobang 29 June | 21:50

Ah, Sgt. Pepper Anderson can put me in cuffs anytime. Angie Dickinson is one of the original MILF's.

It's MetaCHAT, interrobang, that means we're free to babble, since it drains the babble of the mothership.

posted by jonmc 29 June | 21:52

interrobang, we have to schedule another metachat meetup at the scratchpad!

Oh, and Kevin Costner usually guarantees suckage too. Except for Bull Durham. Mmmm the toenail painting scene...

posted by iconomy 29 June | 22:05

I would love that, iconomy, but every time I go there now, I get this message that the scratchpad is limited to 35 users, and it's exceeded that!

posted by interrobang 29 June | 22:07

Me too, but I think it's just busted. It _always_ says that now. The other one (the original one) now has color! And 4 separate scratchpads. But I can't remember the link. It's around here somewhere...

*peeks under tea cup*

posted by iconomy 29 June | 22:13

Oh, and Kevin Costner usually guarantees suckage too. Except for Bull Durham. Mmmm the toenail painting scene...

That's also one of the few movies I've managed to tolerate Tim Robbins in. "This underwear feels sexy. Dosen't mean I'm queer, though."

posted by jonmc 29 June | 22:13

iconomy, why not get in on the mefi postcard swap?

It's not as collaborative and fun and immediate as the scratchpad, but there are fewer swastikas and penises.

Also, the other scratchpad is here, but there are always too many people there.

posted by interrobang 29 June | 22:21

dobbs, did you dislike De Niro in Ronin? I thought he was good, but I watched it several years ago.

I'll add Andy Garcia in any small movie. Really bad! In the big movies, his influence is neutralized :)

posted by halonine 29 June | 22:31

What, no Ray Liotta?

posted by George_Spiggott 29 June | 22:36

Uh, Goodfellas?

posted by jonmc 29 June | 22:40

Yeah, Ray Liotta sucks, and so does Goodfellas.

posted by interrobang 29 June | 22:43

Well, that was a cogent criticism.

Liotta was the leat interesting part of that movie, but Goodfellas was a brilliantly articulated retort to the Godfather flicks, instead of showing Mafiosi as benevolent despots, it showed them as they two-bit thugs they were. So, In that sense the movie was a triumph.

posted by jonmc 29 June | 22:47

If you mean a triumph of maintaining a long line of movies glorifying Mafia slugs as anything close to human beings, then sure.

posted by interrobang 29 June | 22:51

Did we watch the same movie? Pesci's character came across as a homicidal psychopath, and DeNiro's as a pathologically greedy maniac. There was none of the Robin Hood pretensions that Coppola proffered. But, YMMV.

posted by jonmc 29 June | 23:03

if you were up with joe pesci screaming in the background on tv it doesn't have the same impact.
lots of people have never sat down an watched whole movies all the way through any more, or on a big screen.

i think i enjoy stuff the most when i have no reference or expectation associated with it, anymore

Richard Harris is not just Dumbledore
but he could be known just as a great talk show guest

posted by ethylene 29 June | 23:08

grew up
the die hard thing is just my knowing auto reaction
i know it'll happen one day

i'm so glad i found Withnail and I without any associations.

posted by ethylene 29 June | 23:10

halonine, yeah, DiNiro was the best thing about Ronin, which was a good idea for a film but weakly written and seriously dumbed-down in post production, probably on studio orders. Though come to think of it most of the performances were good, apart from Sean Bean's overplayed poseur-of-fortune.

posted by George_Spiggott 29 June | 23:12

this is funny because what i wanted to do for seanyboy's birthday was have everyone find a Sean.
three so far

posted by ethylene 29 June | 23:16

I'm with iconomy on this one, toenail- wise. I want to hear some other actor do that "slow deep kisses" thing, since Costner doesn't do a thing for me.

posted by puddinghead 29 June | 23:26

I do not remember anything good with Rene Russo. And although I realize most people disagree with me - I never like movies with Kevin Spacey.

posted by weretable and the undead chairs 29 June | 23:30

i dislike Spacey too, but i don't think he ruins movies--they're always sappy and bad to begin with.

posted by amberglow 29 June | 23:33

Not exactly a cast, but I will no longer watch remakes. No, not even King Kong. Especially not King Kong.

posted by PinkStainlessTail 29 June | 23:36

Sean Young, except for Blade Runner. And Dune.

posted by taz 30 June | 00:08

So basically, everything's "shit" with exceptions?

posted by puke & cry 30 June | 01:10

or visa versa
depending on if you wanna puke or cry

posted by ethylene 30 June | 01:19

i don't think i wanna really know why jimmy fallon and carson daly have jobs

posted by ethylene 30 June | 01:24

To the person who said Eric Roberts sucks, go watch "By The Sword". It's a cheapo fencing film with F Murray Abraham and it rocks. It also has Mia Sara (who you may remember as Sloan from Ferris Bueller's Day Off).

Sean Pertwee is excellent in Dog Soldiers and also hilarious in 51st State. You are all a bunch of whining bastards. That is all. You may commence the poop flinging.

posted by longbaugh 30 June | 01:30

p&c - actually, I just wanted to crank up the "sean" level of the thread for ethylene, though I do think Sean Young is a terrible actress.

posted by taz 30 June | 01:31

Sean Pertwee is excellent in Dog Soldiers and also hilarious in 51st State. You are all a bunch of whining bastards. That is all. You may commence the poop flinging.

See, you've missed the point. I'm not saying Pertwee is a bad actor I'm just saying that every movie he's every been in has sucked like a Dyson. The guy is cursed.

posted by dodgygeezer 30 June | 03:05

people and their pole positions
throw up that sutherland shot again

posted by ethylene 30 June | 03:35

and i think that russell crow has done some fine acting but i just don't wanna look at him for a while
(it's indie time, russ. go fund the oz machine)

posted by ethylene 30 June | 03:38

How am I missing the point? Both those films are great. I also liked Equilibrium.

posted by longbaugh 30 June | 03:42

one point is i said

i have never given eric roberts a chance

not eric roberts sucks ass

he has had the bad luck to want to work without good material

F Murray got to be in Amadeus but some people think he's the guy in that sean connery movie

posted by ethylene 30 June | 03:53

i just remembered i've seen that movie
i wonder if mia sara can dance

posted by ethylene 30 June | 04:00

Yeah, Ray Liotta sucks, and so does Goodfellas.

nuh! I disagree vehemently.
But I don't even think brad pitt is bad, most of the time. plus he's easy on the eyes :)

tom cruise is just right in magnolia, but any movie where he plays someone you're supposed to like or take seriously is hopeless.

ben affleck and matt damon both irritate me. whatsitcalled, their hahvahd movie, was alright but not nearly as good as people made it out to be, and robin wms was terrible in it. Robin williams probably should have shut up after mork, or maybe garp.

oh, tom hanks is pretty annoying too - mostly because he goes nowhere with a role. He's just completely neutral. I usually really like sean penn & bill murray because I like the personas they bring (though I can imagine if you didn't like those personas the flick'd be ruined) and then real actor actors, like maybe dafoe or gary oldman, who can blend in, but someone like tom hanks is the same guy in every movie but he's a totally uninteresting, flat, boring guy.

but sometimes we judge unfairly based on later performance. I once accidently saw a serious movie with ted danson in it - and it was actually pretty good (the onion field).

posted by mdn 30 June | 10:43

But I don't even think brad pitt is bad,

He was great as Floyd in True Romance.

posted by jonmc 30 June | 10:51

Pauly Shore, Rob Schneider (and I liked him on SNL!), David Spade, Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Tom Green. Adam Sandler most of the time, though I liked The Wedding Singer.

posted by sisterhavana 30 June | 11:08

Jon Voight's been stuck in middling-to-poor material...

posted by Smart Dalek 30 June | 11:47

Jeff Fahey comes to mind.

Madonna, with the exception of Dick Tracy.

In addition, I won't see anything with Paul Anderson's name on it (I mean the director of Event Horizon, not the director of Magnolia).

posted by Prospero 30 June | 12:35

I'm so late to this thread. And I'm totally going on a tangent from the Goodfellas stuff above, but has anyone heard Pesci's cover of Got to get you into my life? [mp3] It's not half bad.

posted by frecklefaerie 30 June | 13:33

Well, he can carry a tune, but the "ooh" part is unintentionally hysterical. He also did an album of psychedelic music in the 60's, which I've never heard but I bet is interesting.

posted by jonmc 30 June | 13:41

but has anyone heard Pesci's cover of Got to get you into my life? [mp3] It's not half bad.

is this a joke/reference I'm not getting? The file I downloaded is an older black woman singing...

posted by mdn 30 June | 17:18

i hope you meant to be funny, mdn
it did get me to listen to it

not half bad at all

posted by ethylene 30 June | 20:50

Sorry for being late to reply, I figured Goodfellas was more of a big movie, and I meant to exclude it. I was thinking of Andy Garcia in movies like "Modigliani" and "Just the Ticket". "Twisted", "Desperate Measures", and "Steal Big, Steal Little" are supposed to be bad, too. *hides*

posted by halonine 01 July | 21:32

29 June 2005