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21 June 2005
Quick! Somebody say something funny! It's an emergency!
Very animatedly tell someone that you just heard a really hysterical knock knock joke, and ask them if they want to hear it. Of course they'll say yes, and then you excitedly tell them to start. So they say "knock knock" and you ask "who's there?", with a look of breathless anticipation on your face. The expression on their face when they realize that they don't know what to say next (and that they've been had) is great.
Once there was this kid named Butt Itches and he went to the store and then he went out in the street and he was hit by a car and his mom came running out of the store and she yelled "Oh oh my butt itches! My butt itches!"
via a 6 year old girl & long since decided on in my household as the best joke EVAR.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman rob a bank. They are being chased down by the cops and they duck into the back garden of a nearby house. Spying a shed they run to conceal themselves inside. They spot three large sacks and decide to climb inside and wait until the heat is off.
Moments after they have hidden themselves a burly policeman opens the door to the shed and sees the three sacks propped up amongst the garden tools. He walks up to the first sack containing the Englishman and gives it a sharp kick with the toe of his shoe.
"Woof!" barks the Englishman.
"Hmmm, a dog. Well, there's no need to look in there then" says the diligent British bobby and moves to the second sack which he kicks with his other boot.
"Meow!" mewls the Scotsman.
"I see. A cat. Well, I'm after armed robbers not animals abusers so lets try this last sack and I'll be on my way." He swings his baton at the last sack at which point the Irishman, having heard the other two shouts "POTATOES!"
A minister, a lawyer, and Michael Jackson were on a lifeboat fleeing a sinking ship. As the ship was going down, they noticed some children still on the ship's deck.
The minister said "We must save the children!"
The lawyer said "Ah, screw the children!"
Michael Jackson's face lit up and he said "Do we have enough time?"
photo by splunge
photo by TheophileEscargot
photo by Kronos_to_Earth
photo by ethylene
