i actually need one of these--i'm so stuffed up my ears have closed.

Here's a nice spot on the couch with the TV remote, favorite magazine, drink, and laptop. Ease up on the dairy. taz'll be 'round soon with a back rub.

Oh dear God, the horror!

Q: Will it remove a bug that crawled in my ear?

A: No. Hold a flashlight towards your ear and the bug will crawl towards the light.

Fuck if I'm buying that useless piece of crap when I already have a flashlight.

Q: Can someone else use it on me?
A: No. This device is for self-use only.

Why?

To order online, send 2 emails with half your credit card numbers in each email.

People still do that?

For your security, your email is deleted from our computer.

Bwahahahahaha

Also - earwax is there for a reason - it is not supposed to be removed. Twigs, not so much.

It would be really gross if, instead of this stuff coming out your ear, it emptied down that tube that connects your ear canal to your throat.

Lucky for Self-Use Ear Irrigation Syringe users, that's impossible!

Are you sure? Is it in the FAQ?

Well, I guess it's possible if they have a ruptured ear drum or something.

Master Blaster?

I'm enjoying the slyly ironic retro web design look of the site...very clever.

No. Hold a flashlight towards your ear and the bug will crawl towards the light.

Can't I just put my head under a rolling bus?

Your brain thinks your swimming under water.

My swimming under water?

Uh, I call bullshit on the twig.

This device is for self-use only. - Why?

Probably because you could easily push too hard and hurt someone else's ear. It would be much easier to know what was too hard if it was your own ear. Though doctors perform this, I assume they are trained to not push too hard. It's not rocket science, but you could hurt someone without realizing, if you did this to them and didn't know.

Also - earwax is there for a reason - it is not supposed to be removed.

Well, yes, but this isn't for cleaning your ears every day. I've had this done by my doctor, which is nice, but inconvenient and outrageously expensive. If you don't have hearing loss or pain from impacted wax, you might not realize this is even possible; I certainly had no idea until I complained of ear pain to my doctor and he cleaned my ears, solving the problem. But it returns every 6 months or so for me.

Also, there's some interesting stuff on Wikipedia about ear wax and specifically removal, which mentions the syringe method used by doctors.

Thanks so much for the link Feisty, this is honestly going to save me a lot of money and pain. Site leaves a bit to be desired, though.