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07 June 2005

"Everybody in the Bible is thought of as white It's reflected in all the Catholic statuary. We just say, 'Enough already.' That's simply not historically accurate. We are trying to challenge this Europeanization of the whole Bible, which is perpetuated even by the Vatican on one hand, Hollywood on the other," Cain Hope Felder, a professor of New Testament languages and literature at Howard University and an ordained United Methodist minister, said in an interview.
The text of the Original African Heritage Study Bible is the King James Version but, in a marked departure from traditional Bibles, it highlights all the passages that refer to Africa or Africans and includes commentaries putting such history and culture into context. It also contains maps of Africa and illustrations of Bible characters Moses, Jesus, Mary all with dark skin and curly hair.
What about Satan? I thought he was red?
posted by jonmc 07 June | 11:43
Pretty cool, and past time.
posted by omiewise 07 June | 11:44
I once tried gently convincing my poor old Grandma once that Jesus wasn't white. The cognitive dissonance and gear-turning was visible.
posted by loquacious 07 June | 11:49
I once tried gently convincing my poor old Grandma once that Jesus wasn't white.

And yet the only people named Jesus I've ever met were all Latin guys. You never meet a Jesus Kowalksi. It's a conundrum.
posted by jonmc 07 June | 11:53
You never meet a Jesus Kowalksi.

Now that's funny!
posted by tr33hggr 07 June | 11:57
jonmc - Satan's a pinko. Stalin, on the other hand...
posted by Smart Dalek 07 June | 12:04
They're all make-believe; they can be whatever color you want.

My Jesus is lavender with bright orange eyes. And a fuzzy tail.
posted by Hugh Janus 07 June | 12:08
You never meet a Jesus Kowalksi

indeed. but you meet plenty of gringos called Joshua.
posted by matteo 07 June | 12:08
I had a viewropa post that might be interesting in combo with this. (my "recent (and more scientific)" link there led to the same image as matteo's jesus link in this post.
posted by taz 07 June | 12:10
"What the hell are you getting so upset about?" he asked her bewilderedly in a tone of contrite amusement. "I thought you didn't believe in God."
"I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears. "But the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be."
posted by omiewise 07 June | 12:20
I neglected to mention that though my lavender Jesus walks around nude, he has a demure mammalian sheath into which his penis retracts when not in use.
posted by Hugh Janus 07 June | 12:25
What's the from, omiewise?
posted by loquacious 07 June | 12:27
I am not amused.
posted by James I 07 June | 12:32
Shush, you. Jesus is calling, and he's calling you gay.
posted by loquacious 07 June | 12:42
Catch-22. I'm reading it for the first time, and I cannot believe how good it is. This kind of thing is all through it, by which I mean, the use of negatives to completely change and expose expectations. It's very funny and very smart.
posted by omiewise 07 June | 13:17
The Jesus action figure comes in both black and white, no? Am I just making that up?

I once gave my mother a Job action figure for her birthday. It even has festering sores! I can't imagine why someone created this for a child, oozing sores and a desolate wasteland playscene. I guess Christians figure kids need to be needlessly freaked out at least once a day.
posted by grapefruitmoon 07 June | 13:31
You ought to buy the Lot action figure, it comes with two "fully" poseable daughters. I hear it sells like hot cakes in the bible belt.
posted by longbaugh 07 June | 13:35
One time my sister-in-law was talking about sending her kids to the "alternative Hallowe'en celebration they always have at their church - the kids are supposed to dress up like Bible characters.

My sister and I started joking about how the kids should dress up like some of the more unsavoury biblical characters:

- Jael with a spike
- Delilah with scissors
- Judas with a bag of quarters
- Salome with John the Baptist's head on a platter
- Adam and Eve, naked, with an apple

And so on. We thought we were hysterically funny, but my sister-in-law was NOT amused.
posted by Orange Swan 07 June | 14:15
Each Halowe'en, I dress up as my favorite Bible Characters: Bugs Bunny, Captain Kirk, the aforementioned furry Jesus, and Zizzu, a fanciful giant hand and foot simulacrum of dubious origins. It's quite a challenge to put on all the costumes at once, but I'm a Biblical literalist, and it shows.

Say it loud and say it proud: Jesus has a demure mammalian sheath!
posted by Hugh Janus 07 June | 15:29
*makes note of Lot action figure for future gift occasions*

Now the question is, when is a Lot action figure appropriate? Job is a no brainer. Someone's having a bad week/month/year/life, and a Job action figure fits in perfectly.

But... Lot? "So, your wife recently was turned to salt, I thought you might like this." I'm baffled.
posted by grapefruitmoon 07 June | 20:59
it's for the man whose house is surrounded by homos demanding sex. genesis 19:4-6
posted by quonsar 07 June | 22:21
kee-rist, am i the only non honky again?
posted by ethylene 07 June | 22:30
FL Police use Taser on 6 yoa girl || Why have my drop-downs disappeared?