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01 July 2022

How's everyone? How about an old-fashioned 3-point update? The political sitch in the US is total shit. On top of everyone being burned out from work, personal losses, and the pandemic.

THe most important thing is to stay connected with one another. Fighting despair and alienation by connecting. I hope you're all well. Despite the slow rate of posting here, there are still lots of us who check in regularly and keep these relationships alive in our hearts. Thinking of you all on this quiet night.

So, let's do a 3-point update.
1. I had a good therapy session today. Been going for 4 years and wondering if anything was taking. Might be reaching a point where I can actually deal with my own emotions and have some sense of sovereignty in my own life.

2. Work has run me ragged this past year and more. I successfully launched my own business (awesome) but also learned that I have a whole lot of poor time management skills (thanks AdHD). So it's been a fire drill from day one. Finally hit a point where I'm carrying only 2 major projects, and can reflect on how it's going. I need some breathing room!

3. It's starting to be full summer here in the mid-Atlantic. I've yet to have that real Beach Day where you get the full day of sand and sun and multiple dips in the water interspersed with naps on the beach. But it'll be soon. I've had a number of ocean dips but they're more of the rapid-in-and-out to say I did it kind; so excited for the full long ocean swims that are to come.

posted by Miko 01 July | 21:45
I learned that mid-Atlantic is not meant as the imaginary place where the accent comes from. :-)

The 'sitch' in Europe is also not good. What with a war of attrition going on and new cold war starting and a possible energy crisis next winter...

Staying connected that's important in life. I've been wondering recently how you all are doing.
Personally I've been feeling very disconnected from everyone and everything. So that's not so great.

I did join a herensociŽteit though. A chance to wear my suits and ties etc. A bit like a studentenvereniging for the middle aged.

I too started my own business 3 years ago. So I should give myself a little pat on the back.
posted by jouke 02 July | 01:39
1. I am doing okay. My job situation is fine, and I recently applied to do compressed hours, which means that over a two week period involving 10 work days and a total of 70 hours, I instead do the work over 9 days and get one day off every two weeks. My boss works those hours, and can't see any issue in me doing it either. I work from home, my job is task-based and so I don't have any managerial, training or other responsibilities that would make it difficult to do that. Having another 24 days off a year would be so good.

2. The United States' regression to a Taliban-like theocracy (in some States) is terrifying. I am so sad and fearful for you. It's going to get worse, for sure, and I think the rule of the mob will prevail, given that the left does not embrace violence in the same way as the fascists. By the time they decide to fight, it'll be too late. Here the Govt is a mess of corrupt, lying, uncaring turds, and the shitshow that is Brexit is finally having an impact now the Govt can no longer blame Covid for everything. I am lucky that I have a good job and low outgoings, but I am noticing how much more expensive everything is and it's really worrying. So many people are on zero hours contracts at minimum wage and were already stretched to the limit without the massive rise in the cost of rent, utilities and food. But the tactic of divide and conquer is working for the Govt, blaming unions and immigrants for the problems they themselves have created and, indeed, nurtured. Hell in a fucking handbasket.

3. But on the bright side, I have booked a flight to NY to visit my peeps in late October/early November. I'm hoping the difficulties with staffing at airports will be over then and, in any event, it seems airlines prioritise long-haul flights so fingers crossed I'll make it. I have missed my friends so very much.
posted by Senyar 02 July | 06:38
1. I am facing the dynamic situation of mom's dementia getting worse. It's been gradual until these last two weeks in which it's jumped to needing an adjustment in meds...we're at the last option prior to being in a care facility. I am stuck at her home until....whenever. it's been a big challenge for me.

2. The heat and humidity of Summer is upon us. Uggg.

3. Work is becoming more sparse; we've had three big projects pulled because of the economic downturn. I live pretty frugally but haven't quite recovered from loss of income during the lockdowns. I am concerned but am just keeping my head facing forward.
posted by mightshould 02 July | 16:21
Ach mightshould, that must be really tough.
My own 88 yr old mother has progressive Parkinson. She still lives by herself.
But the steady decline is undeniable. Something is going to happen. And it will likely be soon.
I'm a bit apprehensive about what's coming. But there's no going around it ofcourse....
posted by jouke 03 July | 02:25
1. I just celebrated my 25th year as director of the church handbell choir. In my honor, they commissioned a piece by one of the top handbell composers in the country. I must be doing something right. Come to Boston in the fall to hear the premiere!

2. My sister is coming to visit next week. I will spend the whole time making sure my mother and sister don't kill each other. Sigh.

3. Being single continues to cripple me. There is always someone prettier or richer. I don't even say I've hit rock bottom anymore, I just wallow around at the bottom of the well and focus on things that are necessary, like my job. And the handbell choir I guess.
posted by Melismata 03 July | 19:13
That is awesome about the bell choir, melismata. Will there be a video for those of us who can't make it?

I am totally with you on being single. I'm not even bothering looking for someone anymore, as I know that what I am and what I have to offer someone has so little currency in a world where youth and beauty are so highly prized and I am no longer young and have never been anything other than plain of face. But the loneliness is crippling sometimes, particularly as I have no family to speak of - a sister I don't speak to and long-distant cousins I rarely see. Just having someone to make me a cup of tea, or ask me about my day would be beyond treasure.
posted by Senyar 04 July | 08:33
Hello all! I am so heartened to see so many once familiar to me names! It has been many years, so how to begin to update.

1. During the pandemic, I had a stroke. I am okay, and felt very lucky to be in various programs of physio, occupational therapy, and mental health for over a year while I recovered. I still have access to many programs as a part of managing my chronic conditions. Funded by the government, though my medication is covered by my work insurance.

2. I had a job that I loved but had to quit because of an abusive co-worker. There was legal action, and they are no longer in the industry. I found a new job, a bigger job that has its ups and downs, but it is definitely more up than down. I like all the people, I feel like I have agency, and that I get to enact on my values every day. Of course, being in live performance, the pandemic and uncertainty continues to be a challenge.

3. My parents aged rapidly in the pandemic. At ages 83 and 84, they did not cope well with the isolation and lack of mobility. My mother is mostly home-bound and is not in a good mental state to try to do things that will help her feel better. My father has dementia but is otherwise in good health. He is on a wait list for a home, as it is increasingly a challenge to manage his care. We have come a long way, as at the beginning of the pandemic, my parents would not allow food/groceries to be delivered to their condo, and now, there is a PSW there 5 days of the week, and they accept food and meal deliveries happily.

Otherwise I am mostly okay, though it has been a heck of a time!!!!
posted by typewriter 05 July | 22:31
1. Tired and yet full of restless energy. Lonely but really just kind of sick of people. Empty inside but full of so many... uh, things. Wanting to be a potato and just do nothing but wanting to chuck everything and go off with no destination in mind (I have done that before.) In short arse_hat is a land of contrasts.

2. Dealing with estates is grinding and I just want it to end. Please make sure you have your will up to date and be sure everything that can have a beneficiary does have one and is up to date. It will still suck for whoever has to deal with your estate but it will be easier. Oh, and don't think that if you don't have a lot of money or stuff it doesn't mater. It really does.

3. Ginger showed up and is all sucky and wanting my attention but fearful because he is a feral cat and he does not know why he wants to be near me and it's all because of a weepy right eye. I wanted to take him to a vet so I came in to get a carrier but then I remembered I only have the one big enough for a 50 lb. dog. I gave the last two I had to crack whores. I don't want to see an animal suffer because of the poor decisions of it's human. I have 3 traps but I would rather take him in a carrier so I have to go buy a couple of carriers but I also have to go and sit at a government office because I need some information and when I call the number the wait is always 90 minuets to 2 hours and the message on the phone tells me I can avoid the wait by signing up online but when I did sign up it told me to call the same fucking number that told me to sign up online before I can do anything and fgfhjafguyreauyrnbvcbjhxcvbhxbvxbvdsbujhvdXbvbh!!!!!!!!!

4. Having serious executive function issues. To those who have dropped me an email I do love them and will respond. Sometime. really i will

posted by arse_hat 05 July | 22:47
Oh and I had a video chat with my granddaughter who is now 12 and she is also now over 5 foot 9.
posted by arse_hat 05 July | 22:52
Ow, a stroke. That must've been tough. Hope you're recovering well.

Good point about making my will. I've been meaning to for a while. Since I live alone I really should.
posted by jouke 06 July | 12:49
I made my will a few years ago, and my lawyer was this charming elderly man who spent a lot of time telling me fascinating stories about his career, which mostly seemed to involve juicy divorce cases. In between stories he would mention what additional information he needed to write my will, and at the end of our meeting he said that I could email that information to him. I looked around his office and saw no computer or electronic device of any kind, not even a typewriter. I'm thinking, how the heck are you going to receive this email?? I suppose I was really emailing an assistant or secretary -- this guy clearly hadn't moved beyond about 1972. It was a very entertaining old-school experience, but I sure wouldn't want to work for him.

Now since jouke is in Europe, I picture him meeting with somebody straight out of Charles Dickens.

3 points: I am doing a lot of gardening, I am reading a lot of books, and I am working on spending less money and saving more money.
posted by JanetLand 06 July | 16:18
1. So fucking done.
2. It seems that I don't exist since about 1995 according to a branch of the government.
3. The above explains issues I have been having for years and I just want to nuke everything.
posted by arse_hat 08 July | 01:44
Late to this thread but here goes:

1) I paid off my house! (I own a manufactured home, but it's a doublewide mansion and it's now mine, all mine!) It still hasn't really sunk in yet - this is only the second month I don't have to write that check.

2) I am burned out at work. I honestly don't mind wearing masks because I think my b*tch face will scare people. They are incredibly entitled and rude these days! (I work in a supermarket.)

2a) I have been dating someone for almost two years now, and work gets in the way of having a life, lol. He's closer to retirement than I am, and it's frustrating. There's so many things we enjoy together, but never enough time to do them)

3) This is not my news, and it's not to be shared, but my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was detected very, very early; she's had genetic testing and I'm not at a higher risk than any other woman; it was removed three days ago in a lumpectomy, and so far it looks like any further medical won't be necessary. Keep your fingers crossed.

It's so good to see you guys here.
posted by redvixen 08 July | 17:31
Even later than redvixen! Things are good here and I'm grateful. In no particular order, off the top of my head:

1) Betty the puppy was a chaos machine for well over a year, but now at 16 months she's turning into a really solid, sweet dog.

2) My much-loved, omnicompetent boss will be retiring soon. I will take on at least some of her job. I will miss her not just because my life will be more complicated, but also because she is frankly terrific.

3) I'm still not writing as much as I'd like, but thanks to item 1, I'm at least reading a lot.

Take care, everyone. ❤️
posted by tangerine 10 July | 16:47
Walked over to see the fireworks tonight. || End up lying on my face going ringy dingy ding dong