1. Mom fell a week ago, and we ended up in the Emergency Dept, where after a 6-hour extended stay, we were informed that she had a minor fracture of her hip; and since she could bear weight and use a walker, they sent us home with only the information that it wasn’t something that could be fixed with surgery or other intervention; it just has to heal. So, I have been sole caretaker.

2. I haven’t worked since then, and only made one brief visit to my home. Thankfully, my neighbor is willing to feed the kitties. I have many new seedling transplants that I put in the ground the day before this happened, and when I was there, I notice that they did not survive without my being there to water them because the weather has been brutally hot and dry. Pretty sad about that, but, oh well. The remnants of tropical storm “Fred” should bring some rain. And since it’s getting towards the height of tropical storm season, I am worried about getting my place ready for storms. All the standard life stuff with a bit of extra difficulty in the mix.

3. Understandably, most home-care agencies are booked solid. I have finally scored an initial visit from one agency to perform an initial assessment; set for the middle of next week. The first in-home care opening that they can fit into their schedule is the later part of September. Until then, I have to keep things afloat. So, I am just going hourly (instead of say-by-day), and hoping that she gets back to some even level soon enough that I don’t lose my retail job. I am considering bringing my kitties to stay with me at Mom’s, but they do not get along with her very old and frail kitty. We may all just need to suck it up and make that happen somehow. Life kinda sucks, but I am managing for now.

1. The greyness of this summer has got me down. We've had very little consistent sunshine, lots of rain and long stretches of days with cloudy skies. In the garden nothing has grown as it should. I am at war with slugs. My courgettes (zucchini) produce flowers which die, and no fruits develop. My tomatoes have fruit, but still green. I might get a ripe tomato by October at this rate. Meanwhile, blackberries that aren't usually ready until September are ripening. I am sure climate chnage is to blame for this, but rather than our summer getting hotter this year (as it has in many parts of the world), it's been much cooler than last summer.

2. I have a consultation on Thursday to see about getting lens replacement surgery. I thought I'd have to pay for it myself, but my ophthalmologist mentioned about 2 years ago that I have the beginnings of a cataract, so my insurance may cover it, other than a supplement for multifocal lenses. (It wouldn't be covered on the NHS, as it's not bad enough yet, but my employers provide private health insurance.) If it's not covered, I'll pay for it. I really hope I can get this done, I am just about done with glasses, and I can't see well enough with contacts.

3. I am so sad about things going on in the world over which I have no control but which are causing untold misery to millions of people. Covid, Afghanistan, Brexit, Haiti. Sometimes it really feels as if we are living in the End of Days. I try to focus on the small things I can do to help people, and be a loving, kind person as much as I can be.

4. A friend is coming for lunch tomorrow and I am making an Indian feast - baigan achari (a sour/spicy eggplant curry), tadka dal (lentils tempered with spices), cauliflower pakora and onion bhajis (both kinds of fritters), pilau (spiced) rice, roti (flatbread) and pickles. I love to cook, I am methodical and measure out all my spices for each recipe, put them in tiny pots next to their main ingredient so everything is ready to go, and I listen to a podcast or music while I cook. Cooking for me is an act of love.

Things are Not great, Not terrible, to borrow a phrase. Here we are doing much the same as we have been since February of last year but feeling a bit better as my wife was vaccinated at the end of 2020, me in June, my son in July, and now my granddaughter got her first a little over a week ago. She is only 11 but anyone turning 12 before January 1st is now eligible so things are looking a lot less scary.

I am still just tired of social media, what remains of media, and America in general. (To be fair to Americans the world has lots of tiring loud mouths it's just that the U.S. is the biggest voice so they get the brunt of my disgust.)

Media, social or otherwise, is tiring because the tail always seems to be waving the dog. A survey of my province asked about a vaccine mandate. 68% "fully support" it and another 14% "mostly support" it. The overwhelming majority fully support such an action and more are mostly on board with it but of the dozens of replies to the news story only 2 supported the position. Those two replies linked to reasonable scientific support for such a position and both were relentlessly attacked.

I still don't go out much but when I do everyone has a mask on and 98 percent of them have it on correctly. People try to stay apart even in close store aisles. People are trying to do right but most everything in the media and from the little I see of social media amplifies the braying assholes.

The really sad part is many elected people, businesses, and organizations, seem bent on not offending the loud minority. Taking half assed measures and not saying "we follow public health best measures for the greater good."

My surgeries have been healing nicely and my back injury is slowly getting better so mostly I am just tired of the bullshit. Maybe I'll write more about cats. I don't know though as communication seems less and less useful in an overly connected age. Someone sent me this It explains a bit of it but doesn't really dig in to the performative aspect of things.

TL/DR: Not bad, a bit tired.

mightshould being sole caretaker is too much. I hope you can get support soon.

Senyar, we have had a banner tomato year. We have been eating them and my wife has taken some to work and I still put up 8 litres of sauce a few days ago and all from 2 plants.

Hugs to you all.

Hey guys, I'm glad to be seeing everyone again... it's been awhile. I've noticed that after I started taking my new meds it's had that kind of an effect on me. Everything's seemed to have slowed down. My doctor said that this would happen, and I might start to miss the ups and downs I'd been dealing with most of my life--either slumped in bed not able to move, or just raring to go and not giving a damn.

I don't know where my country is headed in regards to covid. They, the doctors had said that the third wave would be peeking in September/October but everyone is acting as if nothing happened a few months back when people were dying left and right.

Other than that, just have my confidence to work on and not lose hope at the drop of a hat.

arse_hat: had watched this the other day and really enjoyed it. Maybe you haven't seen it so thought I'd link it for you.

Senyar, I love the fact that you like Indian cooking so much. Two of my favourite Indian dishes are Biryani and Butter Chicken so the next time you're in my neck of the woods the treat's on me. Hope you get the eye operation soon and everything goes well.

mightshould, my father had the same accident a couple of years back so with good care I'm sure your mom will be okay. I remember using a walker when I was recovering from my accident so I'm glad she's got it to help her around the house. The weather here is just the opposite of what it is there, and the monsoons are giving us a good thrashing. (:

Not well, unfortunately. My head just can't cope with the mess we call "society" anymore, and I've been falling deeper into the depression pool. I normally manage to stay in the shallow end of the pool, but I'm definitely in the deep end now.

I really feel the need to get back into therapy, but I just can't manage the cost of a copay each week. My insurer now offers no-cost tele-health counseling, though. I've done tele-counseling before and it really didn't click for me, but that "no-cost" part is very attractive.

You have to use a therapist/counselor from a provided list of people, and that's where I run into problems. I've been advised by a couple of friends (who are counselors and are familiar with what goes on in my head) that I should definitely look for a psychologist or psychiatrist. Unfortunately, the list provided by my insurer is mostly LCSW's or something called Certified Mental Health Counselors (whatever that is). There are few actual psychologists/psychiatrists, but they all feature "christian counseling" as one of their specialties. Ugh. I just can't.