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29 August 2019

I'm mostly okay with being single and living alone but ... [More:]... this has been a really tough week and sometimes it's Just. Too. Damned. Hard. to go it alone. It's days like today when I could really use someone IRL to help me shoulder the burden.

That is all.
I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like you are in a rough patch. Sending you whuffles from across the pond, Senyar. I hope things improve soon.
posted by msali 29 August | 11:26
It's been a perfect storm of a number of things, and it's all got on top of me this week.

First, work stress following a meeting I couldn't avoid with someone who's bullied me for years. He used to be my manager and his bullying at the time was so bad that people I barely knew commented on it. I try to avoid having contact with him, but this was unavoidable. It's led me to second-guess everything I'm doing, which in turn has resulted in me being unable to produce any work this week. I was so nervous of this meeting that I recorded it on my phone, because past experience has taught me not to trust this person at all.

I also had a horribly stressful work experience a few weeks ago which I've still not recovered from. I can't talk about it as it involves legal issues (not of my doing but which I got caught up in due to the failures of the people in our legal department). But my physical safety was at risk in a way that was totally unacceptable and which nobody responsible has acknowledged or apologised for. It made me realise - even more than I already knew - that my employer only pays lip service to caring about its employees.

On top of that, it looks increasingly likely that I'll be laid off in March next year, just as the economy is tanking due to Brexit. I am 60 years old, six years away from when I can draw my pension. I don't know how I'll compete in the job market against kids half my age. The UK is so expensive, even now when I have a good job. If I lose my income, I dread to think how I'll manage. My job is very 'niche' and I don't know how transferable my skills will be.

I've also got some worries about health. Following a routine smear test, I had my BP checked and needed to wear a BP monitor for 24 hours last week. My BP turned out to be normal, but the monitor flagged up an issue with my heart. I had an ECG today and I have yet to talk to the GP about the result but I saw the printout and it looked very uneven. I don't feel unwell in any way at all (apart from being too heavy). But if I got sick, there's no-one to take care of me.

And the political maneuverings of those Tory cunts who don't care that they're about to launch the UK into economic and social chaos that will last for decades has been the final straw this week.

I feel sad and lonely and scared. I have friends - good friends - but sometimes all you need is someone to make you a cup of tea, give you a cuddle and tell you they'll take care of you and everything's going to be all right.
posted by Senyar 29 August | 16:31
Whuffles and hugs. I hope things seem a bit lighter soon.
posted by arse_hat 30 August | 21:21
Oh shit Senyar, that's a lot on your plate. I am so sorry, I hope things look up for you soon. Fuck bullies and extra fuck the Brexit Bullies.
posted by msali 31 August | 09:58
That's bad crap all around...and I feel your pain. I'm in a slightly similar situation with my jobs cutting back (2 hours of work last week) but at least it's humane - not like your abusive situation.

And I also have niche skills and am a non-desirable old.

We need a commune more than ever. We need a place of mutual support and caring where somebody has the ability to give hugs, bring you soup, bake brownies, offer loving kindness.

posted by mightshould 31 August | 14:17
I am beyond sick and tired of everyone telling me that I donít need a man to be happy. I do. I really, really do.
posted by Melismata 31 August | 20:39
Belinda Bedekovic Queen of the keytar. || Architectural Digest tour of Liv Tyler's brownstone.