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20 November 2018

Things I've learned from drivers. I used to have a career that involved a lot of travel so I was in a lot of taxis and limos. When someone drives you many of them feel they must talk to you. A lot. Here are a few things I learned.
Cigarettes don't cause cancer Zippo lighters do.

The knowledge of the Rosicrucians protects us from The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Also the Rosicrucians have coins that are a sign of achievement or something.

Freemasons killed JFK because Catholicism.

Zionists and the CIA did 911 because (WTF dude I can't even pretend to follow your thought process).

The moon landing was faked to piss off the Russians and make them look bad.

The post 911 grounding of flights proved that contrails\chemtrails are a real danger in some way.

Jesus was invented by the Roman Empire for reasons?

The Clintons, Knights Templar, assassinations something whaaa?

The Illuminati had Tupac and Biggie killed something something.

Aids was invented by Liberals to make Reagan look bad.

Rap was invented by the Republicans to keep the black man down.

Princess Diana was murdered by the CIA because she was pregnant with a Muslim baby (I think she may have meant MI6 but didn't really know the difference. Or not).

Then there was the time I went from Chicago to Milwaukee with a new sales guy. In that short drive I learned all about the Conspiracy Against White Men including ki**s, dy**s, ni**ers, po**h mon**ys, fem**ists, rad**al fem**ists, Clin**nites, Lib**als, s**d ni**ers, r** h**ds, f**s, and other stuff I don't bother to remember. When I got home I wrote up a memo to send to the COO and human resources the next morning. I never sent it as 450 of about 600 of us were fired the next day as the company imploded under an SEC investigation. A few years later I saw that this clown was still employed in sales with a big company. Apparently intolerance is no impediment to employment.

I also heard many personal stories of people's lives. Immigrants and refugees and of first time home buying and marriages of the driver or their children and pained stories from former warriors as they watched that day's start of a new war for vague reasons.

Have you learned from any drivers?
The stories you list are one of the reasons I generally stay politely quiet with drivers, pretending to sleep or answer email, or I just ask them about good places to eat or what food the area is known for. I don't like the feeling of being captive with someone with loony ideas that are probably not benign to me.
posted by Miko 21 November | 20:57
The very first Uber driver I had regaled me with the story of how, on his way to pick me up in the wee hours to bring me to the train station in Pittsburgh to travel back to NJ - he made a wrong turn and got stuck on train tracks. Yeah, I was a bit anxious on the drive to the station, but everything was fine and I made it on time.

Otherwise, I haven't got any good stories to tell, because, as Miko said, I stay politely quiet.
posted by redvixen 23 November | 17:55
So, what are we watching on TV these days? || Belatedly Sad Bunny - RIP Gman/Gabe