The last time I remember stealing was shoplifting toys as a kid. What really stuck with me was the shame of being caught by my parents and being made to apologize to each store.

I have evolved into an adult who is a bit obsessive about making sure I give back extra change and pens. I think I avoid even accidental theft because I've worked so often with people who are genuinely harmed, sometimes in really significant ways, when they are victimized by burglary or theft.

You mean stole some actual valuable stuff?

Late 70's. College. I was a graphic design major and discovered how easy it was to pilfer the occasional marker or sheet of Letraset press-type. That stuff was crazy expensive and I was a poor student. At least that's how I justified it. L.

I'm always stealing hearts. It's a curse.

"Stealing souls" is erroneous slang. I just collect what is owed.

I remember stealing a martini shaker from a restaurant in my 20s. But I didn't steal the lid so it was useless anyway. I think that was the last time.

Maybe I *have* stolen something since the last time I stole something.

I just "pirated" something. Does it count?

'80s. Used to steal toilet paper from the university rest rooms. Had a little screwdriver on my keychain that could pop the lock on the paper holder.

Well, there was the PS/2 model 80 that I took home from work in the 1990s from IBM and never returned when they fired me. I suppose that counts, but Fuck IBM.