Becoming friends with a person otherwise romantically involved. →
[More:]Some of the answers to this AskMe question got me wondering whether I am out of step with contemporary opposite sex friendship mores in a heterosexual context.
So, people of MeCha...
If you are a man who's committed to a woman (dating or married), and another guy she doesn't know well "reaches out" and invites her to coffee, with an eye toward developing a friendship, how would you feel about that? Are you okay with her going?
Likewise, if you're a woman in a relationship with a man, and another woman reaches out to your guy for coffee or whatnot ... are you cool with that?
Assume for the sake of argument that the new person inviting your guy/gal for coffee is a "contender" in terms of appearance, requisite fitness, style, personality and smarts ... In other words not someone gross or weird to make them no threat.
Some of the answers to that question suggest the OP should invite the woman to coffee and develop a friendship even if she's involved with another guy ... I admit I may be a bit stodgy and possessive, so maybe I'm out of step ... But what about the rest of you?
(I know that when I raise this issue people might say "well how do gay people have friends then?" And while that is a good point, I just have a sense that gay culture is somehow different ... they've dealt with this in a way that heterosexuals have not worked out yet.)