Ghosties and ghoulies and things that go snort in the night →[More:]The Christmas before last, my tenant Andrew went to Montreal to spend his holidays with his family. One night, when he was staying at his brother's place, Andrew's brother and sister-in-law went out for the evening, leaving Andrew to babysit their two small daughters, who were then 3.5 and 1.5. At about 9:30, the girls having been in bed for hours, Andrew had fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV. He was suddenly awakened by the sound of his older niece screaming at the top of her lungs. He got up and went running into her room, and asked her what was wrong.

His niece, who was shaking and crying and generally terrified out of her little wits, said, "Uncle Andrew, there's a monster out there!"

Andrew said, "Oh no, honey, there are no monsters out there."

His niece said, "Yes there is, I heard him! He goes [SNORT..SNORT...RASPY BREATHING]!"

Andrew had heard complaints about his snoring many times in the past, but he'd never actually frightened anyone to tears before. At worst, he alarmed me once when I was in the laundry room and heard a sound I couldn't for the space of a few moments place, and I've always been glad there are two floors and several closed doors between our respective bedrooms.