That is strangely fun.

I'm not sure what perverse instinct led me to try that out*, but HURRAY! The simulation of my body at my actual height and weight and approximate body shape is startlingly realistic, but I'm able to view it more objectively than I can in the mirror and see that, hey, that's really a very attractive shape.

I would never have expected that something called "model my diet" would leave me feeling positive about my fatness.

*I'm a big** believer in Health At Every Size, but I've been struggling for years to fully internalize that belief when it comes to my own body.

**Ha!

I'm really enjoying setting it to the maximum weight and making wise cracks in the manner of a James Bond villain as I push the update button (e.g. "From Hell's heart I flab at thee!").

I am surprised at how nice my current stats look on the model, but honestly it looks better on her than it does on me in real life. IT's an idealized version with good posture, evenly distributed weight, great skin, and minimal sagging. That's not even my RL starting point, so the projected end point looks a lot more remote.

Also, I took the end point down to 70 lbs. and that's not realistic either. It doesn't seem to go there.

IT's an idealized version with good posture, evenly distributed weight, great skin, and minimal sagging.

I AM NOT EVEN HEARING THAT. I LOOK IDEALIZED JUST LIKE THAT. (Did you try shifting the body type? That's how I got it to look, well, a lot like me in my boy shorts and camisole. I'm a lot jigglier but hey: jiggle!)

Actually, the thing that had such a positive effect for me was comparing this height and weight to what I always think of as my "fighting weight": the strapping, healthy weight I was for a few years before I was injured and lost some mobility and gained some weight. On the model, that lower weight looks about like I looked in the most flattering photos from that time, but it doesn't look remarkably different from the model at this weight. That felt good to see on a model, because it's completely impossible to see when I'm actually looking at myself.

Unrelated, but about posture: in the grocery store yesterday, I was standing at my tallest while scanning the aisles for The Fella when I suddenly thought... hey, lady, you used to stand like this all the time. I was a tall child and a tall teenager, and my mother (who had also been a tall child and tall teenager, and who was no lavish with compliments) used compliments to reinforce my habitual straight posture. She'd spent her youth trying to shrink down into herself and she was so happy to see that I didn't.

And then I got injured and lost some some flexibility and mobility, which has the effect of making me stand less tall and straight. But I'm making a conscious effort to stand taller today, and I'm hoping I can regain that habit. It makes a huge difference in how I feel and, I noticed yesterday, in how people meet my eyes.

I'm not sure why, but when I had blue streaks in my hair last year, I stood taller, too. Maybe it's time to do that again.

(Also, Miko, if you are inviting me to take a gander at you in camisole and boy shorts in real life to see how it differs from the model, then BOW CHICKA WOW WOW.)

My current weight (175) and vague goal weight (155) look exactly the same on the personalised model, to my eyes (and she suspiciously lacks the spare tyre that currently accompanies me, though it's smaller than it used to be). The difference between my weight two years ago (205) and my current weight is a bit more marked, though.

The model has lovely ankles, whatever size she is. I don't think I'll ever have elegant ankles and have *almost* resigned myself to that fact...

That was...educational. Strangely inspiring. Less depressing than I thought it might be, too.

(Also, Miko, if you are inviting me to take a gander at you in camisole and boy shorts in real life to see how it differs from the model, then BOW CHICKA WOW WOW.)

Heh - always a vote of confidence! Thanks. I think what this proves is partly that even if you show me an objectively pleasant reflection of my appearance, I'll be able to find a way to read it negatively. ;(

Yeah, in the closet. That's a real confidence builder, right there.

The waist is smaller than mine at the weight I should be.