"I bought his brain!"

"It's... okay... to play with dolls!"

"Time to deploy... the middle child!"

"I will cut you open like a wet bag of groceries and dance on your sticky bones!"

"And, isn't sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit."

I have two all-time favorite episodes:

"The Tick Vs. The Tick" (two parts) for such moments as...

"Can you destroy the Earth?"
"Egad, I hope not! That's where I keep all my stuff!"

"I am mighty. I have a glow you cannot see. I have a heart as big as the moon. As warm as bathwater. We are superheroes, men, we don't have time to be charming. The boots of evil were made for walkin'. We're watching the big picture, friend. We know the score. We are a public service, not glamour boys. Not captains of industry. Keep your vulgar moneys. We are a justice sandwich. No toppings necessary. Living rooms of America, do you catch my drift? Do you dig?"

"...so he says to me, you want to be a bad guy? and I say yeah, baby! I want to be bad! I says, surf's up, space ponies! I'm making gravy without the lumps!" (first words of a villain I liked so much I used his name for a sock puppet account... which is not a secret as I learned after I accidentally did a front page post under that account)

"Hey sweetheart, what'cha got in that Poodle Gun?" (Die Fleidermaus' finest moment, IMO)

and what sadly but almost appropriately became the last episode of the series: "The Tick vs. Education" (two parts), with guest voices Laraine Newman, Jim Belushi and Bobcat Freaking Goldthwait. It provided Eide's great "dolls" and "middle child" quotes and...

"I am an ice cream cone! Thanks to your incompetent irresponsible ice-cream-gineers, all my body fluids have become Triple Ripple Vanilla Road Monkey. I bleed Triple Ripple Vanilla Road Monkey. I sweat Triple Ripple Vanilla Road Monkey. I cry Triple Ripple Vanilla Road Monkey. I everything Triple Ripple Vanilla Road Monkey!"

"I'm not a villain, I'm vanilla."

"One of the sidekick's most important jobs is to keep the superhero in touch with reality. Because in this business, reality can be pretty hard to come by."

"I'm Gezundtitan. I'm allergic to almost everything including pine resin, airborne pollen and my own perspiration..."

"But what have we really learned? Well, for one thing, not everyone can know everything. Some people don't know anything. I myself don't know much. But I do know this... that, uh... well, the thing I just said."

and the delightfully derivative "And I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for those meddling superhero students..."

But my all time favorite single Tick quote is from "The Tick vs. El Seed": "I hate broccoli, and yet, in a certain sense, I am broccoli."

I like squirrels.

VILE MUCOUS