MetaChat - Not Nearly the News!

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29 March 2012

Not Nearly the News! I had this idea for a fun collaborative writing exercise, based on a post on a friend's facebook wall. →[More:]

You start off of a prompt, and come up with a fake news story based (loosely) on the prompt. Then, at the end, tack on a prompt for the next person ("Meanwhile, in Kuala Lumpur..."; or "Now, in financial news..."; etc).

His post:
This week...

Which I followed up with:
‎...a cargo vessel containing a shipment of over 400 million marshmallow Peeps wrecked off the coast of Fiji. The marshmallow fluff absorbed the sea water, creating a new continent known as Peepiji. No word yet on how the UN will treat this new sovereign land.

Meanwhile, in Vienna... [now you go!]

post by: Eideteker at: 10:14 | 8 comments

...operagoers were stunned at being bombarded by bored supernumeraries with chunks of asiago cheese and bread crusts at a performance of Don Giovanni. Officials determined that most of the cheese was still edible and donated it to the Salzburg Home for the Tall.

Meanwhile, in Grosse Pointe...

posted by JanetLand 29 March | 10:31

...authorities were surprised to discover Al Capone alive and well and living in the Grosse Pointe Bluffs Senior Centre. Representatives for Mr. Capone claim he has never made his whereabouts a secret, and has happily resided in Grosse Pointe for over fifty years. Mr. Capone moved out of his residence on Shady Oak Lane when his wife passed ten years ago, at which point he entered the Bluffs Senior Centre. Mr. Capone was not available for comment.

Meanwhile in Hong Kong...

posted by msali 29 March | 10:42

A poliboro member from neighboring Guangdong province* proposed cutting the tallest buildings in HongKong into 10-story pieces and distributing them "evenly and fairly" across a 10,000-square-kilometer area. He was immediately relieved of his authority and sent for "reeducation" to the Foxconn factory in Shenzhen. His associates were quoted saying "what a Guangdong".

Meanwhile, in a Los Angeles suburb...

* real name, I looked it up

posted by oneswellfoop 29 March | 14:54

. . . . the local tailors announced a week of free tailored suits for all first time visitors. Planeloads of people wearing poorly fitting clothing began to land, day and night. Suspicious of the sudden influx of foreign strangers, China put its navy on high alert. A world crisis began to develop. Fortunately, the tailors were able to provide a 3 day turnaround, the now well dressed tourists left, and things subsided. Until the next time. Meanwhile, in Kathmandu . . .

posted by bearwife 29 March | 15:04

...a cavalcade of backpackers high on life, altitude sickness, and Nalgene bottles descended on the annual Yenya festival in palanquin chairs bedecked with marigold chains and a rainbow of streamers. A miraculous thermos of yak-butter tea was passed around, reportedly remaining full to the brim even after reaching the Scottish contingent, traditionally the thirstiest of all. This freaked everyone out.

Meanwhile, in Buenos Aires...

posted by mdonley 29 March | 17:42

...demonstrations broke out over the dispute between Pepsi and Coca-Cola. Opposing sides marched for over 14 hours yesterday, but were unable to meet to broker a peace deal. Local authorities are on high alert, and suggest stocking up on carbonated beverages.

In other news, the sporting world was shocked today when...

posted by Eideteker 29 March | 20:11

It was revealed that Tim Tebow is secretly a Muslim and has lied to the American people about his religious ties, including his claim to being a devout Christian and he is not a natural-born citizen of the United States.

Meanwhile in the GOP primaries...

posted by arse_hat 29 March | 23:54

...fearing that infighting during the primaries might derail the defeat of Barack Obama, the GOP called upon the Pope for spiritual help. Vatican scholars dug deep into the Banned Book section of the Vatican library and utilized a tome called (in the vulgar language) The Book of the Tri-fold Horror.

Calling upon Satan (for only the 5th time this year) the Pope caused Romney, Santorum and Gingrich to be melded into a single hideous presidential candidate. They became Ron Paul.

In other news, a shocker in the world of astronomy today...

posted by Splunge 30 March | 09:20

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