This isn't online (where I tend to walk away when my head gets that buzzy full-of-wasps feeling), but I said something pretty rough to a loved one this week: "I love you but right now I don't like you very much!"

I'd been trying to (and been blocked from) physically walk out of the room for several minutes at that point because I knew I was too angry to engage kindly or rationally, but that's not an excuse. I feel pretty rotten right now --- for a whole lot of reasons, but that little outburst didn't help.

I got in trouble just the other day for telling people to stop picking on Taz in MetaTalk. (By other users, not the mods.) Man, do some people hate change!

As for the rest of the internet? Good lord. I think back in 1999 I participated in a Simpsons forum where I very self-righteously declared, "Smithers really is gay!" (Thankfully, that has fallen to the bottom of my Google search, but it's still there.)

Man, do some people hate change!

I have long been one of those change-haters! (Though, for whatever reason, I'm usually when mods are added/changed/assigned], probably because I honestly believe that mods know best.)

But in the last few months, I promised myself that I would accept online changes with an open mind and give it a few weeks before I decided whether I like or dislike them. It was a good lesson to impose on myself.

And I'm sure there's some rotten stuff I'm done online that dropped off my emotional map into the unmapped land of denial.

I just this morning shut an entire set of tabs, slammed my laptop and decided to go play with the cat instead of posting to a bike forum I frequent, because I was about to post a pissed-off screed in response to some conservative muppet going on about some right-wing nutjob, and the exact words I was about to use were "so-and-so is an unrepentant asshole who needs to eat a bag of dicks and then die in a fire!" so trust me I get it.

I've hit post on so many misguided diatribes, o yes I have. I've probably got a thousand and one recipes for crow. it helps me sometimes to remember that just like I have good and bad days, these things tend to run in cycles. The interwebs in general definitely has its moments of Just You Put That Manifesto Down And Go Outside, Dammit.

I'm thinking right now that the holiday stress deal, coupled with the current state of US political affairs, coupled with crappy weather keeping folks inside, is probably contributing to an uptick in ragey GRAR around sites with a majority of US/North American membership.

And I'm sure there's some rotten stuff I'm done online that dropped off my emotional map into the unmapped land of denial.

oh god, if I remembered all the stupid shit I've said on the internet, I'd have to just shoot myself right now.

DOOP DE DO CATS ARE WEIRD DEEDLEY DO...

I just this morning shut an entire set of tabs, slammed my laptop and decided to go play with the cat instead

WHOO HOO, that deserves a high-five! Restraint can be hard to come by; good for you.

My self-censored MeFi moment today prevented me from making a follow-up joke to this one about papercuts in a book store. I've deleted a number of potential comments recently, feeling that they would only add to a derail. I felt stymied at the moment as I wanted to vent, but I think it was better for all, as I'm not very good at following up on MetaFilter comments, and I'd keep thinking about what I wrote.

My blow ups usually happen because I've been restrained at the wrong times. So instead of saying "I disagree/I'd rather you didn't/I'm offended by" after the first or second offense, the third or fourth one is met with a kitchen sinking rant that seems like it comes out of nowhere to the recipient.

Like others have mentioned, I've deleted tons of comments after running them through my "will this piss them off" filter. Or because they're just noise.

Also - I really like Elsa's description of what anger feels like!

when my head gets that buzzy full-of-wasps feeling

Folks, it's a long-standing policy at MetaChat that this is not a place to bring over interpersonal drama from Metafilter or any other site. If there's a personal dispute going on, you should talk to each other about it directly, either on the site in question or via email. I'm deleting a few comments in this thread but leaving it open for now.

I said some really mortifyingly snarky shit in my early Usenet days (1993-1994), all under my real name, unfortunately. On the bright side, nobody gives a shit, which goes for most of us, however hot our temporary flare-ups might get.

Now I'm not sure if I had a commented deleted or if I just forgot to click Post. DRAMA!

The mods had to delete a couple more comments overnight, so as of now this thread is closed. Again, please don't use MetaChat as a place to hash out disagreements from MetaFilter or anywhere else. Thanks.