MetaChat - Goodbye, Connor

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03 December 2011

Goodbye, Connor →[More:]Yesterday I found out one of our cats died. It's a long story and I drank a lot. Oh, so much. It didn't help but besides a headache it didn't really hurt, still got done what I had to do, etc.
He wasn't my cat, but he was a big, beautiful cat and he loved me and I loved him and now he is gone, just like that.
He was the only survivor of a litter of a kitten, his mother Winnie, born Cesarian section, the only one to find the working nipple. I think there are more pictures I haven't filed but here are Connor and Winnie. Connor in his Maine coon fluffiness walked with a kind of pushy march, nosed other cats out of the way to get what he wanted, was never hostile and once walked up to a deer. I think my parents and especially my brother are going to be having a really rough time with this. It was my brother who found the scared, abused Winnie and took her in only to find out she was pregnant, and then had to deal with the carnage of the birth.
I could go on, but really, I guess, I'm hoping for things that will help my brother, who has a lot of issues going on.
Maybe post picture of your pets past and present or whatever you think applies.
I will miss him. He was always very clear in communicating with me and knowing there was really nothing we could do makes it all feel like an odd stop.

post by: ethylene at: 16:47 | 22 comments

Hugs to you eth.

posted by arse_hat 03 December | 17:01

I'm sorry eth.

posted by brujita 03 December | 17:17

I believe that one of humanity's greatest virtues is that we develop such compassionate bonds with other species.

Sookie has been staying with the kids since Wednesday night but I should be picking her up today.

≡ Click to see image ≡

posted by Ardiril 03 December | 17:41

I'm so sorry, ethylene. What a good-looking boy he was.

posted by Senyar 03 December | 17:49

I'm so sorry.

posted by JoanArkham 03 December | 18:01

Never, never easy. This is the price we pay for receiving the love of wonderful animals. Thinking of you.

posted by bearwife 03 December | 18:13

I'm sorry for your loss, ethylene. He was a handsome boy.

posted by deborah 03 December | 18:57

Aw ethylene .. so sorry. It sounds like the two of you had an understanding and that is so precious. He was a very good-looking cat dude, quite stately and dignified. Sending hugs to you. It's so sad when it's over but you have to remember to also be glad that it happened.

posted by Kangaroo 03 December | 19:45

I'm so sorry, ethylene. Connor sounds like he was lovely fellow.

posted by fancyoats 03 December | 20:10

I so sorry, ethylene.

posted by bluesapphires 03 December | 20:50

Death just sucks, be it feline, canine, human, or whatever.

(Been around too much death lately.)

I am sorry (((ethylene))).

posted by danf 03 December | 21:46

posted by sperose 03 December | 22:09

I am so sorry ethylene.

posted by redvixen 03 December | 23:23

He was a beautiful boy.

Here's my Hope-a-dope.

posted by infinitywaltz 04 December | 00:16

Crap. I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you and your family. Our pets are so important in our lives.

posted by mightshould 04 December | 00:42

So sorry Eth - sending good thoughts your way.

posted by Slack-a-gogo 04 December | 00:50

A gorgeous cat. I'm sorry you're having to suffer this.

When I think about the place pets have played in my life, I often think of that Leonard Cohen line from Everybody Knows (off I'm Your Man 1988) "everybody's got that broken feeling / like their father their your dog just died"

They just get so close to us, and us to them.

Rusty, The Wonder Dog, died in 1997. I've not gotten another pet, took in a couple of stray cats while finding them a good home; I'm more a dog person than a cat person anyways. But a big part of me not having gotten another pooch is the ache in it when she died.

posted by dancestoblue 04 December | 03:56

Sorry Eth. My Maine coon, Zooey, has to go in for an ecocardiagram on Thursday.

posted by Obscure Reference 04 December | 09:23

So sorry to hear it. Wilson has epilepsy and a bad heart valve though hopefully a long life. But he is also nine and it will never be long enough.

posted by Glinn 04 December | 19:04

Sorry to be responding late, but I've been kind of withdrawn from the world for a few days. We had to let Saedy go last Thursday and I'm miserable. I feel your pain :( I'm sorry, ethylene.

posted by galadriel 05 December | 08:29

I have had the drunkiest weekend I have had in forever, and I am flat out shocked at how functional I can be while both drunk and hungover. I just keep expecting to be way more laid out than I am, and yet it's all been a long, dragged out exercise in avoidance, obligation, and indulgence in a way, without apparent consequence. There is just so much going on and yet I keep going. Weird.

Connor's autopsy showed that he had a ridiculously enlarged heart. He could have been sick for a long time without us knowing, or maybe it was a congenital issue that became exacerbated. He had pneumonia, spleen issues, all this stuff suddenly all at once right after going to a groomer where they sheared him like a sheep. For some reason, no one wants to ask if anything happened at the groomer and I haven't been able to get the number or any information and have been too busy and away--

After a crappy day of dragging my hungover ass around through all the necessary things, I'm surprised at how normal I feel right now. Loads of work to do but I don't doubt I can and will do it.

Maybe I'm just compartmentalizing for the sake of survival. So much happened this weekend that I don't have time to process. Things I should probably ponder and regret. So much stuff coming up that I could end up horribly or wonderfully or neutrally.

I'm just taking this moment to marvel at whatever this is right now.
And now back to the show.

posted by ethylene 05 December | 16:10

I'm so sorry, eth.

posted by tangerine 06 December | 02:35

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