1. The mister's heart surgery that was scheduled for tomorrow was cancelled a few days ago. One of the meds he is on has sent his thyroid out of whack. We don't know when/if it will be rescheduled.

2. He has to work out now whether he's going back to work or going onto long term disability.

3. Stress levels are through the roof, so much so I'm having anxiety driven chest pains. Wheee!

Oh, I'm so sorry, Deborah. Here's a capybara hug for you.

Oh, hugs all around, y'all. Sorry today is so hard for you two. I'm sending love your way.

My determinedly-positive list of three:

1. I am the kitchen ninja! Pumpkin coffeecake, whole wheat sandwich bread (plus two loaves of dough frozen to bake up later), pie crust, refried beans, homemade flour tortillas, AND I washed every dish and scrubbed down every surface except the floor, which I'll do later.

2. I won a copy of Sweet Auburn Desserts from Serious Eats. So there's something to look forward to in the post!

3. The Fella's long-awaited vacation started today, HURRAY HURRAY FUNTIME FOR BOTH OF US, except it turns out he still has do a bunch of busywork all day and then interview someone this evening for his column. I am gently refraining from mentioning to him that "vacation" means "not working." So we'll have a nice Vacation Dinner tonight and that can be the official start of vacation.

*whuffles Senyar and deborah*

1. I have negative motivation to work on school things. I know that I only have just a few more weeks to go--but damnit, I want to be done! I only have 3 papers left to write (one of which is due on Thursday, oops) for my current courses and I have to hear back about my portfolio being accepted or not. MUST. FINISH. STRONG. I always slump at the end of the semester and that seriously bit me in the ass in terms of the GovDocs fiasco. But fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck papers.

2. Pops and I had some serious grownup conversations this weekend, which always amuses me. It seems like he's slowly starting to treat me more like a motherfucking adult. He tells me that his goal is for me to be in the 1% and how he wants to leave his real estate empire to me. (I told him that my given profession guarantees that I WON'T be in the 1% and that I hate people and would be a horrible landlord and he should give it to my brother, and he replied 'your brother can't even balance his checkbook'.)

3. I hit a deer last night. Luckily, I wasn't going that fast and I swerved to avoid it as best as I could (since there was no shoulder and a telephone pole right in front of me), so I only have minor damage to the driver's side front fender. The deer did get up and scamper off into the woods, so I hope it's okay. The car is drivable as long as I don't turn the wheel really hard to the right and/or go over bumps. I called pops right afterwards and he came out and checked to make sure the car really was drivable and told me that since I have comprehensive car insurance that I only have to pay the deductible and they'll fix it. Of course, I was totes freaking out about that because I don't exactly have much cash saved and when I talked to the insurance person later, they told me that my deductible is $50.

1. Trying to tie things up before my vacation. Drafts of two software test plans to get out by Wednesday. I'm supposed to be an expert at this stuff but I'm sort of having writer's block.

2. Drive-by-Trucker's show tomorrow night at Carnegie Hall in Homestead. (We have a few of our own Carnegie Halls out here but we pronounce them differently. Car-NEGG-ee)

3. Vacation! Visiting family for a wedding and Thanksgiving in the Golden State and will be off work for 11 glorious days of not having to think about QA test plans. I plan to drink a lot of California wine and play Minecraft but my wife might have other plans.

I wish I could offer some tips on how to destress, but I can't. I should be an expert on this subject by now, but I am far from it.

Hugs to Senyar, Deborah, Sperose (One At a Time on the papers, and One should be Thursday due date) and Ardiril.

1. It is staying very gray and high forties around here. I know I should be glad it isn't raining but . . also, want more daylight so I am motivated to take my Awesome Aussie for evening walks.

2. Work is fine. Just a little boring and routine these days. Hoping something interesting yet not crazy making comes in the door soon.

3. Worried about the Bear. He came back from our China trip with a big heavy cold and the cough is not going away. Tried to gently encourage him to call his doc today. He's been out of work for a week. He retires in February, so not worried about his job, but about whether he's OK.

1. My brother got married this weekend!

2. A friend actually set me up with someone local. I say "actually" because I don't know the last time that I was "set up" with a date other than that one time back in high school when I went with that really shy girl (barely spoke, and then at a whisper) to see the movie about Meg Ryan winning the Medal of Honor. We have a date for Wednesday. Ever since I told her I would prefer it if she were bitchy IRL (she was worried about coming off as bitchy online; clearly doesn't know what I like), she's been a bit more at ease and we've been having some fun sniping at each other in messages.

The mutual friend set us up because "she likes Silence of the Lambs," so I guess that's becoming my thing?

3. My current improv teacher basically said that I am (or at least appear) a very confident person, comfortable in myself. I actually chortled out loud, in class, when he said this. But uh, I guess it shows how big the gulf is between my self-concept and how others see me. Which also means that I'm not at all hearing how people actually see me and am instead responding to how I think they see me (thanks to the voice). So the voice just got more irrelevant. Which is awesome. Now I need to get comfortable with the fact that I'm actually very comfortable in myself.

1. My head and neck are itching like crazy. It's not lice. The stuff my GP gave me does nothing. Am also getting a little bit of formication (not fornication, alas) in my ears and on my arms. The causes could be menopause, diabetes, allergies, or skin cancer. I'm going to find a new dermatologist (didn't like the old one) and find out which one it is.

2. I keep thinking I should switch GPs, too. All of the specialists she has recommended have not been good. She was clueless about my insurance (though I understand that most doctors are). When I was suicidal due to taking Zoloft and called her office, all I got back was a call from her assistant, saying "Dr X. says to stop taking the Zoloft." On the other hand, good GPs are probably in short supply these days, and I may find someone even worse.

3. Forgot my reading glasses today, and now have a massive headache. Head in not good condition today.

I'm sorry everyone seems to be having not such good Mondays. This will probably be annoyingly perky:

1. Thursday is my last day at the state. Eeek! On Wednesday I'm having lunch with the coworkers I like and then a mini-dessert party with everyone (certain persons know how to guarantee my attendance at a party :o). Then I'll vacation until I start orientation at the new place on 11/28. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. But first I need to make it through tomorrow's business intelligence app demo.

2. The one friend I made during my time in GA is coming up this way for a library conference in December! I'm sooo excited since it's been 4+ years since I've seen her though we email every week. I suggested she come in on the 3rd, I pick her up so she can met my four-legged crew and see my house, the next morning we'll visit the nature reserve she wants to see (which will probably involve a lot of huffing and puffing on my part) and I'll drop her off at her hotel.

3. I got a email from my soon-to-be-again manager asking if I wanted a Blackberry, Droid or iPhone for my work phone (since I won't have a desk phone). I just upgrade to a HTC Inspire and while I like it, I think responding to a slew of emails with a touch screen would drive me nutty. So I went with the Blackberry with a keyboard. Plus when RIM is having issues again, I'll have an excuse for ignoring it. Nothing like planned laziness.

I'm such a Chatty Cathy today.

annoyingly perky - Tain't no such thing round here.

Damn, peoples. Huge whuffles to y'all that are having a shitty day.

1. Spent a weekend in the mountains hiking and seeing the sites. Back at home it is raining and chilly, so we have basically holed up in our bedroom since getting back.

2. Bought the How to Cook Everything Mark Bittman app for the ipad today. Looking forward to cooking everything.

3. In that spirit, a friend and I are planning on cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the Americans we know here in Balneário Camboriú, which really doesn't amount to much, so we'll invite a few others to keep the holiday bright. We're getting a little carried away with our menu.

1. Last week got a call on my landline from an old acquaintance. I have not talked to him in maybe 20 years. He called my mom and she gave him my number (I have since coached her to take someone's number and give it to me, so I can call them if I choose). I really do not want to talk to this guy. He used to just show up and stay and stay and overstay his welcome (by weeks). Other shit he pulled made me glad he was out of my life. He has called several more times and I have not called him back yet. Ugh.

2. Have bifocals for the first time ever in that the new reading glasses I got here great for holding a book but blurred for computer. So I tried having two pairs of glasses for a few weeks and that did not work so I had them put bifocals. Very strange, and even though I have had them since Friday, still have headaches, getting my brain rewired for these.

3. Dog continues to do well. The new vet suggested fish oil, and said that it would take a few weeks for it to kick in, as far as benefits. Well, she was right. This makes the next 6 months or so hard to plan, in that if Lacey continues to improve, then we could leave her with a house/dog sitter. But if she goes downhill again, it would be hard to do so. Kona calls, though. Double ugh.

1. Hugs to those having a shitty day.

2. I am also having a shitty day.

3. I want that pumpkin coffeecake recipe!

I meant the "annoying" part, in case that wasn't clear. :)

Capybara hug is now my 'puter wallpaper, thanks, Senyar! Here's a silly video for you (so jealous of the foxes that visit your garden).

sperose - so glad you're okay! Cars hitting deer can be tragic.

Thanks for all the good wishes. The operation was on the calendar since August and to have it cancelled so close to the day is so frustrating.

1) Been living that deal where you keep counting the (relatively) shitty things that happen, hoping that you've reached the next count of three. But...then another (relatively) shitty thing happens and you're sitting on your front porch with your girls, waiting on a locksmith.

2) The upside is that I DO realize (sometimes thanks to you great folks) that these are not really bad things...they are (sometimes expensive) nuisances.

3) Wishing all the people above with more pressing concerns some peace of mind in the near future. Be well folks, or at least, know that I am hoping that life gets better for the lot of ya. Community is a great feeling. Thanks.

annoyingly perky - Tain't no such thing round here.

Good to know as I'm sure my almost-former coworkers feel differently :o)

1. I'm feeling a little better about myself; I've got a diet planned out so I can lose the ten pounds that have crept on this semester, and I stuck to it pretty well today, mostly. Also, a couple of people have complimented me on my hair today, which is nice because I had it dyed again this weekend, a brighter coppery red.

2. So very stressed, however, about a chemistry test on Wednesday. And a calculus test on Thursday. Ugh.

3. On that note, I cannot wait for Friday to come. I'm driving all by myself (I've never driven alone!) to my house, about an hour and fifteen minutes away, for Thanksgiving break. I'll have a week away from school to cook and spend time with family and pets and my boyfriend.

1. Hugs to alla youse.

2. That's totally not all me, it's the dress, it is cut wrong and not fitted, and my wig is going to be redone. *sigh*. If I look like a F.A. Tass, though, well, I guess I'm not too far away. *SIGH*

3. Next three days = super busy, I should go to bed! Or at least shower in preparation thereof.

1. Visited my mom at the nursing home on Sunday. She's doing okay, but I hate that she has to be there. It's a nice place, but it's a nursing home. I wish I could scoop her up and take her home with me, but she needs round-the-clock care (we tried to have her home, at her house, but she freaked out on the home health aide and my brother had to bring her back to the hospital; she's been at the nursing home again since). The mild dementia seems to have stabilized, but she still gets confused. She thought someone stole all her things at the house. I did my best to reassure her everything is still there. She said she feels like her time is over, like she'll never get out of there and that she should just close her eyes and not open them again. Other than that we had a nice visit. (I cried all the way home.)

2. Everything else seems small. I have car trouble. Damn check engine light's been on all year, but it needs to be resolved before the car can pass inspection. Jon and I spent two days back and forth to the mechanic's. They reset it, we drive 100+ miles, and they check. No good. We were giving it one more try, but the damn light just popped back on today. I said, Welcome back, light. The mechanic's been very nice; they gave me a temporary inspection sticker so I won't get another ticket in the mean time.

3. My Thanksgiving's been cancelled. My brother and his wife had invited Jon and me to Thanksgiving a few weeks ago, and I was looking forward to having my mom there and all (we took her out to lunch successfully last week), but now he and his wife have accepted an invitation to the country club with my aunt (I seem cut out from such things since my father died). The worst part is, they're not taking my mom, so I'm not sure what we'll do. Such is life. Fuck it. I may just pretend it's not Thanksgiving. Maybe we'll go check out the new casino. Play some video poker and stuff ourselves at the buffet.

1. If Senyar or anyone else is looking for capybaras, one of them made news around here six months ago.

2. Hugs to everyone having problems; I've been oversharing on MeFi, with a long ramble/rant in the "Boomers" thread. The more I look round, the more I realize that as disabled, poor and alone as I am, I'm relatively damned lucky. Which has mostly shut up the voice in MY head that calls me a lazy loser, so I may drop the label "depressed" and just replace it with "low-energy".

3. Seeing my doctor tomorrow (the thrice-annual check-in, not quite a check-up), not looking forward to the weigh-in, but otherwise, less of a big deal than I thought it'd be 2-3 weeks ago. The last time I went in, the forced activity after my dad died had shaved 15 pounds off, but the big let-down since I'm sure has gained it back. Which was worrying me until the voice shut up. I'd like to have more energy, but if I wait a couple months, I have an excuse to skip ALL the holidays.

1. Am at a conference in DC.

2. Just presented my poster this morning -- it went really well -- am excited that people whose names I've read on papers are actually taking my work seriously. Maybe that'll inspire me to take it seriously too.

3. It's been great catching up with old friends. Today I met two friends (a couple) who were postdocs when I first met them as classmates in a summer school (I was a grad student and still am a grad student). Now they're tenure track faculty -- it's a strange sensation to have good friends who are professors!

1. Thanksgiving week is coming, and that means it's time for another loooooong drive from Maine to Florida. I leave on Friday, and will wave at all y'all on the east coast as I pass through.

2. The best part of the trip, and probably the only part that will be genuinely fun, will be the end of the first leg on Friday/Saturday morning, when I get to see three of the dearest people in the world to me. There will be beer drinking!

3. I don't really have a 3. Impending long trips tend to swallow up everything else.

peacheater, are you at SfN?

OK, it's Tuesday.

1. Yahrzeit candle for my mom, 9 years. Feelings are complicated.

2. I'm working on a project with folks in the UK, 5 hours ahead of my time zone, which is nicer than working with the west coast people. My afternoons are quiet, although I do get up really early and check email. And they have nice accents :P

3. No thanksgiving plans, as usual, but I do love a 4 day weekend all to myself. I don't like being with other people's families and have none of my own, something of a blessing. I miss some of the food but don't want to cook or order in some kind of pathetic one-person thanksgiving. Maybe I will get chinese takeout.

gaspode, yup SFN! Are you here too?

Nope, I don't go anymore because two post-docs burnt me out and now I work for NLM. But most of my best friends are there. And I've been to, oh, 10 or so. They are tiring. Good to hear your poster went well!

We actually got married just before SfN just so my New Zealand friends that were coming over (for the DC one, seven years ago) could come to our Baltimore wedding too.

Aw, that's rather sweet, that you held your marriage just before SFN. I wonder if I'm getting burnt out right now.