That's nothing. I have no idea how to work a cotton gin.

"I have no idea how to work a cotton gin"

Kids these days!

Real story:

A friend of mine was going on a cross-country trip. He asked one of the friends who was coming with him if she could drive standard transmission. She said yes. He was just as surprised as her when it turned out she couldn't drive stick shift. Because isn't automatic pretty much standard on all cars (in the US) these days?

To offer a story of counterbalancing awesomeness, one of my calculus students has coined the term "derpivatives" to refer to botched derivatives.

I was watching Boardwalk Empire last night and in a scene the phone rings and the character Jimmy kicks his wife and son out of the room for privacy. For a second I thought, "how rude" and then remembered that, duh, phones were wired to the wall and he couldn't move. Funny because I grew up with wired phones until I was in my thirties but had totally forgotten. I'm sure that my son thinks of the idea of a phone bolted to the wall as something from the stone age.

Cell phones have outdated movies, too. That one Die Hard with all the rich people held hostage on top floor? Even if the bad guys could collect all the phones before someone tweeted, all those people dropping offline at once would arouse immediate suspicion.

A few years ago I took a picture of some kids in the family with a older camera with film. One of the girls excitedly ran up to me afterwards and grabbed the camera. She looked at the back, realized there was no digital preview, and handed it back to me with a look of disgust and disappointment. I suddenly felt like I had broken out one of those old plate cameras where I have to cover my head with a blanket and hold a tray of flashpowder to light the portrait.

My college age son has never bought a CD and I'm sure regards them like 78s or wax cylinders.

If someone calls me on the landline, I always sit on the stairs next to the cordless phone base unit to talk to them (and the cat always joins me there). I could in theory go anywhere in the house but it feels wrong somehow.

I have a black rotary dial phone on a table near my front door. It still works just fine and has outlived dozens of other phones. I never call out on it. Mainly because if I get a menu I cannot dial one for whatever.

Ha! Altolinguistic, I know just what you mean. We got our first cordless when I was a freshman in high school and had just started dating my first actual boyfriend. I remember huddling in the corner of the bathroom (don't ask) because that's where the base was for the less-public of our phones.

Actually, at that time we still had a rotary downstairs. I had friends come over and try to poke it. It was funny.

The only phone downstairs when I was a kid was hard-wired next to the back door so my teenage sisters would go out on the back porch to talk to their friends. Back then hard-wired meant no plugs, just a wire going in the wall. Your phone lived where Ma Bell put it and you weren't allowed to move it.

Those were the days when customers didn't own their phones either.

Before we had a cordless phone we had a something like a 25 foot cord on our phone. I remember it was often stretched to its limit coming from the kitchen, across the family room and out to the porch where my mom like to sit to chat.

I don't know much about my kid's Nintendos. They're all LOL whenever I try t use it.

I remember the novelty of buying a phone in a store for the first time. Weird...

However, I hate cell phones and wireless home phones. I don't know how anyone puts up with the lousy audio quality, the time delay, and especially the I-can't-hear-you-if-I'm-speaking effect. I don't care much for the phone anyway, but anything other than wired from my phone to the other side (which is pretty rare these days) drives me batty.

My son keeps forgetting (and getting annoyed) that he can't replay songs he hears on FM radio like he can when we are listening to an iPod.

Ardiril, my dad discovered only about 10 years ago that he had been paying Pacbell a few bucks every month to rent the rotary phones and the hardwired 'house ringer' that have been in his house since 1962. Boy, he was steamed. But at least now he has pushbutton phones.

I remember being shocked that there were things you needed a remote to do on a TV and there was no way to do it on the box itself. Didn't "remote" just mean that . . .

It's the little things like electric windows and phones you can take anywhere that really bring it home how far we've come technology-wise. Still... I want my flying car, dammit!

You get used to stuff pretty quickly and forget how you did without them. It's only been within the last twenty years that you could buy almost anything with a card. I remember having to carry a freaking checkbook with me all the time to buy stuff. Even longer ago, I remember before ATMs when you had to cash a check to get cash.

The hell with flying cars, let's cut straight to teleportation, please.

Eideteker - when I test-drove my last car, I had to drive it off the lot for the saleswoman, as she had no idea what to do with a stick-shift. She kept saying "I hope my boss doesn't see me - we're supposed to drive off the lot, or our insurance coverage is void."
I think she thought that she'd died and gone to heaven, when I actually wanted the model that had been sitting on the lot for months! You get a very good price (and at least 2mpg better) if you're willing to drive grandpa's technology ... :-)

I had a hard time shopping for a car with a manual shift a couple of years ago. Even the models that allegedly had one as an option, didn't exist at any dealers within fifty miles of here. Part of why I bought my Fit was that they had a stick model for me to test drive.

Weird. Canada must like standards more. While looking for a car recently my wife kept seeing something she wanted to check out only to be disappointed to find it had a stick.

Ugg and I remember the time before ATMs. If you needed cash before the weekend you would have to waste a lunch hour in line at the bank.

"Canada must like standards more." - Probably the preference for those who deal with major snowfalls.

If you needed cash before the weekend you would have to waste a lunch hour in line at the bank.

Or write a check at the grocery store for more than your purchase to get cash back, which always made me feel weird, like I was running a scam somehow.

Yeah, a neighbourhood store that knew you was the best thing.

It's only been within the last twenty years that you could buy almost anything with a card. I remember having to carry a freaking checkbook with me all the time to buy stuff. Even longer ago, I remember before ATMs when you had to cash a check to get cash.
Funny, I was just thinking about this yesterday when it hit me that I can't remember the last time I had more than about $10 cash on me.

Cheques have never really been a popular form of payment here - generally, shops have never accepted them except from regular customers they know well, so paying for things pre-EFTPOS was all about cash, with no real option. It's hard to remember when you had to make sure you had enough cash to do whatever you wanted on the weekend, because there was absolutely no way to get more until Monday.

Not that it's a tech thing, but I also remember the days of 9-5 shop opening hours Monday to Friday with maybe a late Thursday night or half-day Saturday. It was a problem for people who work trying to get shopping done, but I think it contributed to a more relaxed society because Sunday was down-time for pretty much everyone. Also, it made shopping centre car parks available for driving lessons, bike riding and general tomfoolery. I'm a bit conflicted about the ability to shop whenever the urge strikes - it's convenient, but I think the price is too high sometimes. Mobile phones are somewhat the same - it's very convenient being able to contact people wherever and whenever, but the price is you get no downtime because everyone freaks out of they can't reach you for five minutes. True story - a friend of my partner called me at work a couple of months ago, very worried because she hadn't been able to get in touch with my partner for the whole day. It was lunchtime ...

Manual transmissions are pretty rare here, too, these days. The 'standard' is still a manual, but not many new cars roll out with one. I don't understand why people are prepared to pay at least $2k more to not have to change gears.

It was a problem for people who work trying to get shopping done, but I think it contributed to a more relaxed society because Sunday was down-time for pretty much everyone.

My biggest reverse culture-shock adjustment when moving back to the US from Italy was the 24/7 shopping. It was weird how anxious it made me after a year of being away from it.

Our great-grandkids will ask, "What's this F5 mean?"

About 3 years ago my niece asked me for help typing her name.

I kinda want to test drive a car now that has one of the "flappy paddle gear boxes," just so I can confirm that I can drive it. The main reason why I learned to drive stick was for a "just in case" sort of thing; I'd hate to be stranded anywhere with a serial killer after me, and the only car around is one that has a flappy paddle gear box.

If someone calls me on the landline

I've never had a landline (of my own).

I don't understand why people are prepared to pay at least $2k more to not have to change gears.

Because it's haaaard. And you can't put makeup on/eat breakfast/drink starbucks with both your hands busy (well, you can).

Personally, I wish they would restrict automatics to people with disabilities who need them. I think we'd all be a lot safer if driving required more thought and attention (also why I think we should triple the speed limits).

Cause of death "couldn't work a flappy paddle gear box."