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02 September 2011

Bring teh funnay, pls. I'm flat on my back with the worst case of shingles anyone at the VA has ever seen. (Not safe-for-the-squeamish pic, here)

I am as miserable as I have ever been in my life and could use some funny or caring voices right now. [More:]946-9535 for voice or texts... (317 area code) i'm not sleeping too much, but may be somewhat drugged.
posted by jouke 02 September | 16:27
10ccs of Animal Gifs stat
posted by The Whelk 02 September | 16:51
That photo is INSANE, buddy. Damn! I feel so bad for you.

This is more entertaining than funny, but it IS entertaining: GIF.TV
posted by BoringPostcards 02 September | 16:56
Dude, just apologize to the gypsy already.
posted by Eideteker 02 September | 17:15
Your shingles totally makes the shingles I had look like child's play. Did you get some good drugs?
posted by Ardiril 02 September | 17:19
EEOOOWWW!!!! Oh, so sorry. Care much about you and am sending you all best wishes for right away recovery.

Re funnies: Try this out.
posted by bearwife 02 September | 17:44

I was going to whine about going to my bachelorette party, but I think you have me beat by a long shot.
posted by Madamina 02 September | 18:03
Texted you a picture and a note .. sending sympathy and hugs.
posted by Kangaroo 02 September | 18:55
OUCH! So sorry, pjern --- here's hoping you recover soon. In the meantime, you might enjoy hearing these midcentury husbands complain about their wives' coffee. [via MeFi; thanks, Greg Nog!)
posted by Elsa 02 September | 19:35
You *so* have my sympathy. This happened to me last year and I lost the whole spring because of it. It does get a lot better - and you can get a jab to prevent it coming back (although my doctor added insult to injury by telling me I was too young to qualify for the jab).
For some amusement, I love Richard Wiseman's Quirkology blog. Often funny and always mind-boggling, this will keep you distracted (even if not amused in the sense of laughing out loud) for hours.
You can use the Antipode map to see where you'd come out if you dug through the Earth from where you are now.
Neatorama has answers for all the questions you didn't know you wanted to ask.
What's on Earth Tonight? If aliens are monitoring our radio-frequency emissions then this is what they are currently watching on TV.
Jerry needs no help playing with his ball
Morris Dancing - or 6 men making complete pratts of themselves to the tune of 'Mrs Widgery's Lodger' - if you've never seen this example of British folkways, it is always good for a laugh ...
Museum Dinosaur Interacts With Kids

posted by Susurration 02 September | 20:10
Sam the eagle on nudity One of the funniest things I remember from the Muppet Show.
posted by brujita 02 September | 20:33
Holy crap! Get well soon!
posted by gomichild 02 September | 21:20
Are shingles itchie or ouchie? Both? In any case, you have my sympathies. Get well STAT!
posted by deborah 02 September | 21:31
These have lately reduced me to tears of joy. I keep trying to make somebody else laugh hysterically at them but so far I have been met only with jaded ennui. You, however, are a captive audience and therefore I unleash . . . THE BATUSI!


BONUS! Batman surfing

and Robin hits puberty
posted by mygothlaundry 02 September | 21:39
For internet light reading, I also recommend Neatorama, as well as Mental Floss. They share a few writers, including the lovely-and-or-talented Miss Cellania, whose two blogs collect funny stuff from all over (including MeFi) and drag out some of the oldest jokes on the Web. But she's only my second favorite pseudonyminous blogger - the first is MeFi's Own madamejujujive who is making the Everlasting Blort live up to its adjective. And don't forget The Presurfer, who is recommended by all of the above.

I love funny Photoshop, so Worth1000 is must-see, and so are the contests at Fark and Cracked (links go to ONLY the Photoshoppery). Over all, the Cracked site is getting less funny and more informational, if you can get around the deeply snarky writing style. Meanwhile, the magazine Cracked used to try to copy has its own blog now, with bits and pieces of funny content, some new, some classic.

The infamous Cheezburger Network has a poop-ton of different subsites for all kinds of tastes in humor. I personally like the Graph Jam and (you know ME) So Much Pun pages, and their "My Little Brony" has become my current guiltiest pleasure.

If you can't get enough distracting chuckles out of all that, I suggest grabbing some short scifi stories from

Of course, I haven't yet touched upon my current truest media darling: webcomics... if you haven't succumbed to your illness in a couple hours, I'll have a few dozen of my favorites later.
posted by oneswellfoop 02 September | 22:06
Hope you get well soon. In the meantime, here's a funny story.

My dad gets together with an old work crony every week or so, this guy Eddy. When I was a kid we used to go with him and his son, who was a couple years younger than me, to Memorial Stadium to see the Orioles play.

Now they go to Baltimore or Washington to check out a museum or a play or a restaurant. He and my dad have the same dentist, who still practices not far from my dad's place. Eddy was in town to see the dentist, so they agreed to meet afterward at the local Indian buffet.

The local Indian buffet happens to be excellent, usually several pickles and appetizers and at least six curries to choose from, plus a sambar and tandoori chicken and usually three desserts, and what's more, it's my three-year old nephew's favorite restaurant. So my dad invited my brother and my nephew, who got to meet Eddie for the first time. He'd heard of Eddy and was excited to finally meet him.

During the meal, when the conversation would slow, the little guy would pipe up and ask Eddy a question like, "Do you have a basement? Does your basement have toys in it? What kind of toys do you have in your basement?"

Anyway, that evening my brother asked the boy to call grandpa and invite him to dinner, and he said, "Okay, but can I also invite my friend Eddy?"
posted by Hugh Janus 02 September | 23:23
Cat meets balloon cat.
posted by TheophileEscargot 03 September | 00:33
Also, great zoochosis video, mildly NSFW.
posted by TheophileEscargot 03 September | 00:46
Ooh, that looks nasty. I'm so sorry.

Here's ≡ Click to see image ≡ to make you smile.
posted by Senyar 03 September | 03:00
Have you met my pal Absinthe? He's an anise liquor.
posted by Ardiril 03 September | 04:03
I scraped my feed reader until it bled and pulled out enough funny webcomics (for varying values of 'funny') to keep you chuckling until you heal (I hope). Clicking "previous" to see more strips is always recommended; clicking "first" then going forward, not so much - they generally got better as time goes on.

Basic Instructions is a great take on informtional comics with rotoscope-styled characters and large doses of goofiness.
Bug is an excellent slice-of-life comic by a guy who can't draw humans, so he makes himself a generic insect. Brilliant.
Calamities of Nature has a strong pro-science point of view. So obviously, its main characters are talking animals. Just go with it.
Chainsawsuit is by Kris Straub, who has made several strips with well-drawn characters in complex storylines and he decided to just do some quick cheap jokes with very rough art. So of course, it's more popular than anything else he's ever done.
Diesel Sweeties is the classic webcomic with 8-bit-like characters and robot romances that made the jump to newspapers ... and jumped back. Apparently, syndication pays less than t-shirt sales today.
Dinosaur Comics, everybody should know, recycles the same artwork every time but is still funny because T-Rex is The Most Interesting Dinosaur in the World.
Dork Tower has been doing geeky humor for umpteen years, and its token talking animal is a muskrat.
English Majure is Mefite Keith Pille's silly review of serious literature.
Faraday the Blob is more like a green beach ball with a cockney accent. And it gets weirder from there.
Hijinks Ensue has lots of pop culture references and a gay character based on a real person who hasn't sued the cartoonist. Also the cartoonist collaborates with Wil Wheaton on t-shirt designs - now THAT's Geek Cred.
Kawaii Not - Cute Gone Bad. 'Nuff Said.
KinokoFry is Cute Gone Weird. But still quite cute.
Mimi and Eunice is Cute With Strong Opinions. Don't let that scare you.
The Non-Adventures of Wonderella gives superheroism its much-deserved disrespect.
Octopus Pie takes you to the strange alien world of Brooklyn and introduces you to the hipsters, slackers, stoners and other weird beings there.
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal has been giving a daily mix of geekiness, naughtiness and general weirdness for nine years.
Scenes from a Multiverse is another case of a veteran webcomicker giving up a strip with a long, involved story in favor of random, if topical humor, applied to other worlds and other dimensions.
Today in Alt History every day takes an actual anniversary/birthday and warps it beyond recognition.
Wondermark, the greatest antique clip art comic ever (IMO) has a copycat that isn't so bad: Dewey Defeats Tarzan.

The following are in blog or tumblr format so you can see a lot more gags without clicking around (in case clicking is painful).
Crimes Against Hugh's Manatees. Cynical animals, oh yeah.
Humblug is by 40-year veteran cartoonist/illustrator Arnold Roth (so webcomickers aren't all pimply kids).
Isaac Splode is about a novice monster hunter working for a very bureaucratic secret agency.
Laugh Out Loud Cats, after an initial overdose of meme-osity has settled in to a fun mashup of modern and classic comic elements.
Pengcognito. Realistic penguins! In hats!

Now XKCD and The Oatmeal are NOT the only stick-figure/primitive-style comics out there...
Abstruse Goose tries to be more XKCD than XKCD, and sometimes succeeds (but is funniest when it doesn't).
Cyanide & Happiness is like XKCD with a badder attitude (watch out for pop-ups - bad website, bad!).
Doghouse Diaries is like XKCD for non-intellectuals.
Fickle Picnic goes one further with characters drawn in chalk on a greenboard.
IDK (stands for I Don't Know) goes another one further with characters that are zigsaw puzzle pieces. Why? Who cares?
Left Handed Toons (by Right Handed People) at least has that as an excuse.
The System uses International Symbol Signs for its characters to go even further. Honest.

Yes, there are 'all ages'/'kid friendly' webcomics...
Chim Chum and the Portly Samurai. Okay, the samurai is actually obese. But he has a cute fox as an unreliable sidekick.
Max Overacts is about a would-be child actor who's as bat-guano crazy as some grown-up actors.
Monster Isle has cute monsters... just because.
My Cardboard Life is done cut-and-paste style (and I don't mean the computer kind) for a unique look.
Sheldon is a long-running comic about a boy genius being raised by an old-fashioned grandfather, and the duck he was able to make talk and now can't get to shut up. For the record, this nerdy Sheldon predates the one on "Big Bang Theory" by several years.
Space Base 8 is about a test-pilot monkey and the aliens and robots he deals with daily.

Single panel miscellaneousness...
Agent X.
The Book of Biff. Weirdest eyebrows EVER. The artist indulges in multi-panel nonsense with Maximumble.
Hello With Cheese.
Married to the Sea, a clipart comic from the same people behind Natalie Dee and Toothpaste for Dinner.
My Pixel Pie.
Rock Paper Cynic.
Surviving the World, less drawn than written, using a blackboard and camera.

A couple of the creators of halfway-funny newspaper comics have blogs where they display and attempt to explain their published work:
Dan Piraro's "Bizzaro",
Michael Fry's "Over the Hedge",
And Francesco Marciuliano, who inherited the "Sally Forth" comic, has a blog where he does a cynical pop culture comic titled "Medium Large", also posting teasers to his other humor writing on the Web and indulging the fantasies the syndicate will not let him do on his day job.

Dumm Comics is an almost-secret cabal of animators and other artists who moonlight doing one comic a week each. An uneven mix of weirdness, outrageousness, silliness and, yes, Dummness.

And Square Root of Minus Garfield is an unauthorized mashup that is generally funnier than the original. Anyone can contribute. And I mean anyone.

Yes, I follow all these and a bunch more (some are just as funny but have long involved storylines that will just confuse you if you jump in now). I used to do a blog about webcomics and have been pondering reviving it... well, here's my first week's worth of content.
posted by oneswellfoop 03 September | 04:03
That'll teach me to try to post a link before I've had coffee.

Trolololo cat
posted by Senyar 03 September | 05:01
Shingles is awful... my brother had a bad case a couple years ago. Made me think of getting the vaccine at some point myself, though I think it's not quite recommended for my age yet (I'm 45). In any case, I hope you feel better soon. I know my brother needed some heavy-duty pain medication to get by for awhile. Hope this helps:

(link isn't pretty, but it works, I think)
posted by Pips 03 September | 10:35
I got off with a really mild case a couple of years ago, probably because I take medicine for epilepsy that they'll often use for pain control for shingles. I thought mine was poison ivy at first. My point is, see if there's an antiepilepsy med you can take for this. I'll email you the name of my medicine. xxoo Feel better!
posted by Stewriffic 03 September | 11:21
Wow, thanks for all the links and texts and calls! It's pretty sucky to be isolated from your grandkids because you're contagious, so it'ds really nice to have communication again :)
posted by pjern 03 September | 13:37
I'm so sorry you're having such a bad case of shingles. I get a mild version, and even that hurts. You have my sympathy. Here is a cute dog video. I'm probably the last to see it, but what the heck. I hope it's gone soon, and bearable sooner.

posted by theora55 03 September | 13:40
Here's a nifty Rube Goldnerd video - about taking pictures.
posted by theora55 03 September | 15:18
Oooooh :( Sympathy.

Here, have another cute sleeping doggy video: Woofing in her sleep
posted by galadriel 04 September | 11:57
Bed Rest For Angry Ankle : Ask The Whelk Anything || It's the Friday Night Question,