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31 August 2011

We haven't done Two Truths and a Lie recently. I'll begin...→[More:]

1. So far, at my current job, I have done my regular duties (writing), as well as graphic design (icons!), and programming (conversion script!). I am three employees for the price of one.
2. I once stopped a punch with a joke.
3. Last night, without any practice, preparation, or rehearsal, I improvised a musical number with a person I had never before met. We earned raucous laughter and tons of applause, much to my surprise.

Now it's up to you to ferret out which is the lie. And, of course, to come up with your own Two Truths and a Lie.

post by: Eideteker at: 14:33 | 29 comments

Um, that was too easy, but maybe I know you too well, eide.

1) I wear a keffiyeh a lot.
2) I wear bandannas a lot
3) I wear a muumuu a lot.

posted by Stewriffic 31 August | 14:35

Hah! I suppose you should let someone who's not always on IRC answer, right?

(but I got things started, which was the important part!)

posted by Eideteker 31 August | 14:41

I didn't give away the answer!

posted by Stewriffic 31 August | 14:47

Um, I guessed muumuu but I was wrong, I feel like a total heel now, so:

1. I started a fight that ended in gunplay.
2. I started a fight that ended a multi-generational family feud.
3. I started a fight that ended in multiple arrests.

posted by Hugh Janus 31 August | 14:48

No need to feel like a heel, hugh! I am a proud muumuu wearer. I have two of them, both gifts from my mother. I was offended at first, until I put one on and then suddenly MAGIC comfort.

posted by Stewriffic 31 August | 14:53

1. My mother bought outrageous shoes for the wedding.
2. My betrothed is going to eat a 42 oz. steak tonight.
3. My seamstress hemmed all four layers of my ginormous skirt by hand.

posted by Madamina 31 August | 16:25

Wow, Madamina, that's hard! I'll guess that your betrothed is NOT planning on eating a 42 oz steak.

posted by Stewriffic 31 August | 16:42

Hugh: #1
Madamina: #3

Me:
1. Oliver the Cat is in a box on my desk
2. I just ate a whole bag of Hershey's Kisses
3. I am drinking my fifth diet Coke today

posted by deborah 31 August | 17:35

No one's guessing mine?

(I feel like this thread would have 20-30 comments already in ye olden dayes.)

posted by Eideteker 31 August | 17:45

Eid #3
Hugh #2
Madamina #2
deborah #2

1. I yelled in my sleep last night "Did you kill it? The giant spider?"
2. I ordered 4 sushi rolls and a seaweed salad all for myself tonight
3. I am going bowling at the White House tomorrow.

posted by rmless2 31 August | 17:56

Eid - 3
Stew - 2
Hugh - 1
Madamina - 3
deborah - 3
rmless2 - 3

1. I own several wigs.
2. I'm allergic to mushrooms, but I love them and eat them anyway.
3. I haven't driven a car in 20 years.

posted by JoanArkham 31 August | 18:32

Eid - 2
Stew - 1
Hugh - 1
Madamina - 2
deborah - 3
rmless2 - 3
JoanArkham - 2

1. I can pick things up with my toes.
2. I once brought home a kitten with two different colored eyes that was left in a parking lot in July.
3. I've had bicycles stolen twice from my front door.

posted by redvixen 31 August | 18:58

I can't even begin to guess which are the lies, so I'm swinging blind here:

Eideteker #2
Stewriffic #1
Hugh Janus #1
Madamina #3
deborah #3
rmless2 #3
JoanArkham #1
redvixen #2

1. There are two empty vodka bottles and one full one within arm's reach of where I'm sitting right now.
2. I have three pairs of panties in my handbag right now.
3. Our cat is curled up on my lap skritching ever so slightly right now.

posted by Elsa 31 August | 19:10

DING DING DING! redvixen and Elsa got it. I do have a purse made from a keffiyeh, which I got recently, but that doesn't count. I wear a bandanna whenever I'm outside doing yardwork, and I have two muumuus that I wear to bum around the house.

posted by Stewriffic 31 August | 19:21

rml: #3
JA: #3
rv: #1
Elsa: #1 (trick question, it's three empty vodka bottles!)

posted by Eideteker 31 August | 19:23

1) On a road-trip through West Texas, my buddy ran over a rattlesnake. I made him stop so I could collect the corpse and have the skin wrapped around a stainless steel flask.

2) As a jokey high-school graduation gift, an (Egyptian exchange student) buddy of mine gave me an Eastern European VHS "little-people" pr0n movie. Not knowing what to do with it, I hid it underneath the carpet that lined the trunk of my car. My dad spotted it once, looked at me askance, and while I tried my best to explain the origin, it was the single most awkward moment of my life.

3) I had a brief stint as a hand-model. In fact my right hand was, at least for a season, on the packaging of a Turkey-Caller (used for hunting). This was, obviously, before my days of working with (bitey and claw-y) animals. They're ruined now! Ruined!!

posted by ufez 31 August | 20:19

ufez: 3?

posted by Eideteker 31 August | 21:14

rmless2 got it right - it was a quarter of a bag of Hershey's Kisses, ha! Oliver is still, or again, in a box on my desk (it's a box that kitty litter comes in and I've had it there a week and he loves it). And I'm now on my seventh diet Coke (yes, I drink way too much soda).

Eide: #3
Stewie: I hadn't realized it hadn't been answered, but thought it was #1
rmless2: #3
JoanArkham: #2
redvixen: #3
Elsa: #2
ufez: #2

This is so hard!

posted by deborah 31 August | 21:19

No, I totally did my #3. And it was awesome.

Since no one's guessed it yet, mine was #1. I haven't yet done the python scripting thing, but it's on the table for the future. *adds bullet points to his resume*

posted by Eideteker 31 August | 21:43

Mine was (appropriately enough) number two. Arrests and gunplay, sure. But none of the fights I've started have ended in a multi-generational family feud.

posted by Hugh Janus 31 August | 21:59

Geez, ufez, that's tough. I'll go with three, but I'm quite uncertain.

1. I set a track record for discus in high school that was broken three meets later.
2. Nobody calls me by my given name, or anything close to it.
3. I have read more than one hundred books so far this year.

posted by punchtothehead 31 August | 22:28

Redvixen and Deborah got it! I hate mushrooms, and I'm not allergic to anything (except stupidity).

posted by JoanArkham 01 September | 07:24

Heh. Actually my #1 was completely made up. I've never owned a snakeskin anything. The other two, bizarre as they are, are both completely true.

And punch, I'm going to guess #2 is a lie. A damn lie!

posted by ufez 01 September | 08:24

Well, I was informed by the boy that the steak was actually 40 oz., but he did conquer it. Mostly. (I think the blurriness adequately captures the way he felt.) Whenever a certain vendor comes into town, they initiate the "new guys." I think he needs to keep that medal at work.

And yes, my seamstress did the dress by hand.

My mom insisted that she would buy a pair of "very, very special shoes." She rejected a really cute pair of sort of hammered-silver flats because she said they were "too conservative." She nearly bought a pair that had fish scales.

And then she turned around and bought a pair of grandma pumps from St. Vinnie's. Le sigh.

posted by Madamina 01 September | 09:12

I...

[drumroll]

... do not have a cat.

posted by Elsa 01 September | 12:23

(Our bar is right behind the sofa where I often sit and write; the empties are stuck there until we get around to returning them and the full bottle, of course, belongs there along with the rest of the liquor. The three pairs of panties are an order that arrived wrong; I've packed them up for a return and stashed the package in my bag.)

posted by Elsa 01 September | 12:26

I'm totally late, but if anyone is still reading...

1. Don Johnson once asked me if I could check on when his helicopter was going to arrive.

2. L.L. Cool J and I have the same meditation teacher.

3. Aimee Mann played bass on two tracks of my band's album.

posted by Specklet 01 September | 20:07

Punch: 3
Specklet: 3

posted by Stewriffic 02 September | 06:25

Mine was #2, I actually ordered wayyyy more than that. The Truman bowling alley was awesome!

posted by rmless2 03 September | 12:45

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