Going to Los Altos, California, meeting up with jamaro and NucleophilicAttack, and going birding with rtha and gingerbeer from MeFi. And calling a meetup in SF for all the other bunnies and mefites that I want to meet so badly!

I'm having drinks with James Spader in a dark pub with good music, where we can smoke cigarettes without it smelling up the joint or giving us cancer. And I manage to be completely enchanting and engaging without getting all fangirl every time his dreamy, dreamy eyes look at me. *sigh*

This weekend, I'm going to participate in the World's Record attempt for tallest human Jenga tower. Afterwards, I plan to cool off by waterskiing with Aquaman (we're going to take turns pulling each other).

Sunday, I'm in the studio for a recording session with my band. We're a heavy metal Richard Cheese cover band. In the evening, I'll be artificially inseminating some rare pygmi chimpanzees which I will then follow up with a candlelight dinner with Elizabeth Warren.

This weekend I'm not running from Cambridge to the coast, whereafter I'm not going to participate in an ironman event that goes south along the east coast of England to Dover. I'm decidedly not sailboarding the channel over to the Continent, where I won't be doing anything remotely like driving a Dakar Rally car to the Adriatic coast of Croatia. I'll also not be bottling wine from my own vineyards, and then not drinking it.

Sitting at home and moping and then going out to run a 10k.

I'm either going to sort out all the junk that surrounds me or begin construction on a secret extension to my tiny apartment to store it all in. (Hey, it's on the end of a triplex farthest from the street - I could work on it unnoticed until Monday when the landlord comes around to visit his storage bins on the edge of the property) Either solution is equally (un)likely.

My weekend already started! I just did a Vogue photo shoot with Daniel Craig, who is SUCH a flirt, despite being a newlywed.
I'm catching a red-eye to London in a few hours (yay for Virgin Air first class!) to go shoot a segment with the Top Gear fellows. Jeremy and Richard have been HOUNDING me for months, and since I have so much free time, I figured that I would go set a NEW record in their Reasonably Priced Car. Jezza said that I can drive the Bugatti if I'm really good (I will be).
Sunday I am back to the States to hit a high-end tasting tour in Chicago with Anthony Bourdain. He's ANOTHER one who has been hounding me forever to try out fantastic eateries with him, and since I have SO MUCH FREE TIME, I finally caved.
I'll probably sleep in on Monday after all of the excitement. Now that I've hit the lottery, I quit my job :)

All this time with my singing lessons has paid off, and I've been approved to sing the National Anthem at the first game of the baseball World Series. The first rehearsal is tomorrow, and afterwards, I'm going to go quail hunting in Montana. Best recipes for fresh game are most definitely appreciated!

Having a full blown mystical experience in an idyllic retreat fully customized for this purpose. Between creative exploration and union with the divine, the spa facilities will be available to meet every possible need.

Going out on a wonderful date with a wonderful guy who makes me laugh and makes me forget how tired I am all the time and is not a money-draining mooch.

I will finish my scholarship application, right after I clean my room.

Mila Kunis.

≡ Click to see image ≡

My weekend started already as well. Actually, every day is a weekend for those of us lucky enough to live off of a trust fund. Heh, there's FUN in trust fund. I was considering Las Vegas and meeting up with Paris Hilton, but I decided on some quality time, and so I hired a jet to take me to the Bahamas where a friend owns an island. The 2000 square foot cottage we will be staying in really cramps our space requirements, but the mile long beach and swimming pool make up for the lack of space. Our friend said he was hiring Thomas Keller for the weekend, so at least the food will be decent...

Other than that we have nothing planned.

Damn BP, we know who is having all the fun this weekend. You lucky dog you.

Not headed to the airport to take a private jet with my Bear to a five star resort in a fabulously warm and tropical location, where I will not get a gorgeous and skin cancer risk free tan, and will not drink exotic hangover proof cocktails while lounging in pool/hammock and reading, and will not eat enormous amounts of calorie free chocolate and slimming gourmet meals, and will not spend at least a day being massaged and spoiled in a ritzy spa. Did I mention Jon Stewart will not be joining us for witty repartee and ad hoc entertainment?

Not making plans to go to VT and finally meet terrapin and turtlegirl.

Not being worried about what happens when cataract surgery isn't successful.

I'm going to go into total spastic withdrawal symptoms if Metafilter doesn't get the fuck back up again and that Error 504 Gateway Timeout screen doesn't go away.

...or I might just go out and have a whole bottle of Tito's Vodka.

Or not.

And how could I have forgotten to mention? I am absolutely THRILLED to be cleaning the oven after finding out what "ammonia" is in Polish.