As easy as it would be to say yes, I'm actually going to say no because the adversity I've faced have made me who I am and even though I mostly don't like myself, I think I can get back to liking myself again soon.

When I was 4 years old, I made the conscious decision to stick my hand in a lawnmower. I definitely want a rewind.

I regret many decisions I have made, but none this much. And I feel incredibly fortunate to have the life I have, so even the ability to rectify an enormous mistake probably wouldn't get me to give up what has happened to me in my life.

I wonder if the people I know who have struggled with substance abuse would answer differently, and would return to the time they took their first drink/hit/pill. If so, I am pretty sure they would want to retain the memory of their actual lives, to be sure they never made the same mistake again.

I am also very certain that a number of people I know who have been victims of violent crimes would answer differently than me. Some would give up almost everything to go back and make a decision that foreclosed the risk of the crime occurring again.

This is a very provoking question because I wish I had continued my education and earned a Ph D degree. But I would not want to give up all the wonderful students I have had as a college adjunct instructor, as a middle school and high school teacher, nor would I want to write a boring dissertation which no one will ever read. Instead, I am writing a novel which I hope to finish this week (before my new semester begins) and maybe all of you will read it

Typically in these hypothetical "would you change your life" questions, my answer is a resounding "No!" And that's still true if by "decision," you mean something consciously chosen, not an act that was visited upon me.

But.

If I could be allowed to alter a small moment, to change just a split second of my life? I might take you up on it. If I could go back, oh, five years or so and step into that crosswalk just a few seconds sooner or later and not get plowed down by that inattentive driver, I'd do it.

Like TrishaLynn, I generally believe that our sorrows and trials contribute to our character at least as much as our joys. I wouldn't give up my other choices, even the obviously dumb ones. I like where my life ended up.

But that split second of getting run down has given me almost nothing but pain and limitations. I want my old body back. I want no-pain, I want I-can-walk-a-mile, I want sure-I-can-carry-that. I want my old sex life back. I want to help my friends move, yes, even their sofas, yes, even up two flights of stairs. I want that split second to live over again.

Would I want the memory of the life I'm giving up? OH HELL YES. I would be so grateful, so constantly and forever grateful, for a life without pain. I never even knew that was a gift.

Hell, yes. I can think of two right off the top of my head, which I will not go into now. One in November of 1977 and the other in February of 1985. And for all the changes that would've occurred, I'm pretty positive I still would've been 'blog-curious' years later and discovered MetaFilter when it began and all its branches and spin-offs and the wonderful people herein. But you all would've known a different 'Wendell' - probably one you would've liked better. So if any of you have access to time machines, feel free to go back to either time and slap my face and say "whatever you're thinking of doing, DON'T." Of course, considering the Multiple Worlds theory, this universe's Me would probably not notice, but many other alternate Me's would be happier.

This is a difficult question for me because I started drinking when I was 14, and didn't stop until I was 39. So if I could go back to age 14 and never drink, I know my life would be very different today. I lost my teens, twenties and thirties to alcohol, and I would love to have those years back and give it another shot.

But on the other hand, I am very comfortable with who I am today, and I couldn't be that person without having gone through the trials of those lost decades.

So, the answer for me is ... I don't know.

Also, I would love another shot at that sunny Spring afternoon in a Köln dorm room during 1979. I was 20. The second most traumatic instant of my life borne out over the succeeding years and the most likely precursor of my present disability. Again, my decision led to my losing control of a reckless situation. I really should have gone for it with everything I had. A real all-in life's moment, but I only bet the pot and I got burned bad. Fucking romanian exiles.

18 months later I enlisted in the United States Marine Corps.

Yeah. Yeah, I would go back and yes, I guess I would want the memory of my current life although that depends, in part, on how far I went back. There are a lot of life changing decisions I've made that in retrospect were dumb as hell; I'd like do overs. Still, if I went all the way back to what I think was my first really stupid decision, in 1980, then I wouldn't have my children and if I made that choice, would I want to know it? Probably not. If I only went back say 18 years I'd definitely, definitely want the memory because it would give me a chance - a crapshoot still, but more info is good - to fix a lot of stuff that now is very broken.

Would not do it! Can't think of what I would want to change in the past that would be worth giving up my life in New York City with my husband.

Oh yes, I would go back and listen to my gut instinct and change a choice that may have proven fatal. And I would be happy to not be living with things that have happened since. Yep, in a second - where's that time machine?

I can think of plenty of things I wish had gone differently, but for the most part a lot of things I am not satisfied with are partially due to variables entirely outside of my control. There is no aspect of my life that I am not pleased with which I can blame entirely on a decision I made.

No, I took a long round-about route to get where I am but I would never want to risk what I have to try fix what might have been some short term screw-ups. If I'd been a better student the first time, I might have left school in '86 and never met my first wife and never had my son. And then never moved to Pittsburgh (it was her idea) and would have never gotten divorced her and then met my second wife. Maybe I'd have had a "better" life but I'm not giving up my current life for anything.

No, the whole fun for me would be knowing the difference a single decision can make. Less than most people think, I'd wager, given they usually reflect a greater tendency.

I would go back to last January 22. My mom had been in the hospital for a month, and we'd just moved her to the hospice the day before.

I'd been at the hospital every day for almost a month, commuting between there and work, sleeping at my mom's home which was nearby.

My brother and his family were now in town, and on Mom's first night at the hospice, he stayed on a cot in her room while his wife and two kids stayed at my mom's place. I went and spent a night at home.

Mom seemed fairly stable and was alert the next day, so my brother decided to take his family back home to Tennessee that night, to return alone the next day. I sat with Mom and talked into the evening, then said goodnight to her and went back to her place to sleep. She'd been drifting in and out, and I was hoping she'd sleep through the night.

The next morning (the 23rd, a Sunday) before I was even awake, the hospice was calling my cell phone and telling me to get there immediately. Long story short, I never saw my mom conscious again, but I was with her when she died, while my brother and my partner were racing, trying to get there before the end came.

If I could go back and spend that last night in my mom's room instead of 5 miles away at her house, I would. The hospice nurse later told me she'd talked to her during the night, and my mom was telling her all about her two sons- so she was awake! And alert! And I wasn't there. She was by herself, talking to a stranger. I haven't really been able to forgive myself for this yet.

So, yeah. I'd go back to January 22.

That's so tough...I regret nearly every major decision I ever made...but I'd never change anything that would risk not ending up with Mr. Arkham. So...if I could re-do my life from around age 14 but still manipulate things to end up in the same relationship, I'd do it.

Oh, BoringPostcards, that's so hard and so totally understandable. I'm sending out a hug your way.

After all those months of living out of a suitcase to pitch in with the home hospice work, I wasn't with my father when he died. Nor was my mother. She got out of bed in the morning and returned some time later to find he'd dislodged his oxygen cannula. He was alone. Maybe it was a choice, maybe it was an accident. It took some time before I could let go of that.

I always remember what my late partner said about his grandfather's last minutes: The Formidable Grandmother was at his bedside every possible minute for weeks, holding his hand. Grandfather died while Grandmother was in the bathroom... or, as my partner phrased it, she was "on the can. Of course! It was the only time he could get away."

I gotta go with about nine months before birth.

I have a strange, maybe deluded, not sure, conviction that everything that's happened so far, even the truly bad things that took much too much time to come to terms with, took place for a greater reason or purpose that has yet to reveal itself fully, and so I would have to say no.

And I guess I am lucky to be able to say that having read some of these comments, which I would give a hundred faves too if I could just to be able to count certain blessings.

You know, it's funny. Before I met my wife I would have said hell yes, let's go back to when I was 18. But now that I'm married I wouldn't change a thing. Love is a funny silly thing, but it works, so I won't argue, but rather keep doing what I do.

No, because the decision I would change would mean that I'd never meet the mister. In many ways my life would probably be better for me, but it wouldn't be worth it without him.

Hell no! I wouldn't change a thing. I am grateful to have been blessed with a wonderful life. The bad things I have experienced were inevitable (health issues that would have cropped up anyway). Like many others, if I had changed just one tiny thing, I wouldn't have met my husband, who is my heart.

I hear you though, BoPo. And I am so terribly sorry. (((((BoringPostcards)))))

Usually with these kind of questions, my automatic response is to say no because I don't think it serves much to dwell on the past or what could have happened, whether things turn out differently. But on this one, I can remember the life that is changed and I could do something to change things, so, yes, because I would like to see what happens and I have no particular attachments to this life I've lived but I know enough from it when to fight something before it is too late. The things is I don't know how much difference it really makes to change one thing. Maybe something worse happens, maybe science and technology were too limited back then to make any real difference in the hell that followed, because no one knew enough, but maybe I could have sued the incompetent doctors before the torts ran out and used what I know from this life to find some kind of alternatives.
Yesterday I found out how useless this doctor I've had to see is and I'm wondering if there is anything I can do about it. Maybe I can find an online way to warn others, but I figure there must be something in place to rate doctors that effects something.

I don't know. I think I'd like to go back to before I had kids and, well, not. The problem is that we can't tell what effect even minor things in our lives have had on everything else. If I could remember all those things that now never happened, would I end up in the same place, a different person but pining for all the things that never were because I made a decision to have a do-over? I can't help but think that I'd just screw everything up again, although maybe in a different way and end up no better off, just with different things I wish I'd never done (or things I didn't do but wish I had). I think, if I was given the choice and had to make a decision on the spot, I'd probably say yes and then regret it later ;-)