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12 August 2011

Unattainable Body Ideal-A-GoGo [More:]Next time around, I'd like Brad Pitt's torso.

kthxbai
I want Lassie's hair.
posted by Wolfdog 12 August | 19:14
I'll have Sylvie Guillem's legs, thanks. Actually, her legs would look silly on my short, chubby torso, so I'll have her entire body.
posted by Senyar 12 August | 19:27
I want the impossibly thin legs that make people wonder how I can even stand on them.
posted by rmless2 12 August | 19:27
I don't think that torso is that unattainable actually, he's just very lean (i.e. it's not like he's put on a lot of muscle on top of that.) I'm working towards it!!
posted by Firas 12 August | 19:36
I remember that picture of Sylive Guillem! I think I saw it in an early 90s Vogue or something.

What a great dance photograph.
posted by Trurl 12 August | 19:46
Heh, I grew up when Twiggy was the ideal. I've always been curvy and short.

At least I don't smell like wet Lassie's hair.
Usually ;p
posted by mightshould 12 August | 19:52
I was actually blessed with a pretty good body to start with, it's what I've done to it that's the problem.
posted by octothorpe 12 August | 19:52
I kinda love my lumpy ole body. It's been a rough few years, but my poor body has done its best for me. (I've become very affectionately protective of my body in an oddly detached way --- as if I'm sympathetically observing it from a distance. This is an unsettling development.)

But I DO want long flowing white hair, all glossy and shiny like the women in the ads. A stylist whose opinion I value tells me that making gray hair super-shiny is just a question of spending enough time and money on it, and I'm all, "Dude! I don't want to spend time or money on it! I just WANT IT.
posted by Elsa 12 August | 20:12
I want the impossibly thin legs that make people wonder how I can even stand on them.


Ha ha ha... Perhaps the one piece of... mate selection advice? my father gave me (based on physical criteria) was to stay away from women with skinny legs. This was during a Whitney Houston video.

So, you're free to wish for whatever you want, but someone out there always wants what you've got. (Personally, I think you're gorgeous as is.)

I think the only thing I'd change about myself that can't already be done with proper diet and exercise is that I'd remove most of my body hair. I don't really need any on my back. And shaving is annoying when you can't grow real facial hair. I can't not shave; I don't grow a beard, I just look really scuzzy.
posted by Eideteker 12 August | 20:12
On non-preview (sorry, but I'm on an Amtrak train), Elsa's also gorgeous. So, you know, take my praise with as much or as little salt as you like. I mean, I think it's pretty well established around here that I am a fan of (slightly) older wimmens, but I definitely let out a little "aawww" of resignation when she got hitched. ;)
posted by Eideteker 12 August | 20:17
Awww, Eideteker, that's the sweetest thing anyone-who-isn't-my-husband has said to me today!

So, you know, take my praise with as much or as little salt as you like.

Of course I'm a proper married lady who would never trifle with your affections, but: hello, salty goodness. You're a handsome devil yourself.

Actually, now that I'm thinking about it: in my head, I have visions of all the MetaChatters as really really great-looking people... and when I meet 'em in person, it's always true. That's statistically unlikely, but there is is.

I was actually blessed with a pretty good body to start with

That's one of the great lessons of time (and, in my case, injury): that I was goddamned lucky ever to be walking around in the body I got. It was strong and capable and healthy and did almost anything I asked of it. It's a bit embarrassing that for most of my life, I accepted that gift without a thought.
posted by Elsa 12 August | 20:38
(But, y'know, totally playing the unattainable-beauty game: SHINY HAIR PLEEEEEEEASE.)
posted by Elsa 12 August | 20:44
I've become very affectionately protective of my body in an oddly detached way --- as if I'm sympathetically observing it from a distance. This is an unsettling development.

Come to kindly terms with your ass, for it bears you. - Harlan Ellison
posted by Trurl 12 August | 21:30
I was actually blessed with a pretty good body to start with, it's what I've done to it that's the problem.

Amen! I'm thankful, though, that so far I can still undo lots of what I've done.

It doesn't show in the pictures, but I'm really really proud I quit smoking before age 35. Though it's nothing like a cut torso, it's probably the best thing I ever did to give my body the kind of life it deserves.
posted by Miko 12 August | 22:27
Christina Hendricks body.
posted by deborah 12 August | 22:49
I'd like to be six feet tall, instead of 5'10".

My dad was 6'5" and I was a tall kid, so I hit adolescence with every expectation of being tall. It was bitterly disappointing to get to 5'10" and just..... stop.

I'd also like to get rid of this spare tire, but that's totally doable if I'd get my fat ass in motion and cut out the McNuggets and the Cap'n Crunch.

(A weaker man would wish to not be bald. I don't mind it. I have a nice skull, I think.)
posted by BitterOldPunk 13 August | 03:26
Ha, I guess I'm that weaker man that doesn't enjoy a receding hairline. So that's one of my unattainables.
But then I'm 6'6" and effortlessly slender. So there! :-)

posted by jouke 13 August | 05:19
My body goal is simple. I want my long hair back. After I had my hysterectomy last year, my gynecologist (why I listened to her I have no idea) suggested that "many women like to treat themselves by changing up their appearance a little", so I cut off my damn hair. I had sister-wife long hair, and I had always loved it. I got it cut to about chin length, and have regretted it ever since. It's grown out quite a bit already, but I miss my long shiny hair. I realize now it was my best feature.
posted by msali 13 August | 07:12
BoP, I'd love to be 5'10" and would hate to be 6'5". I'm 6'2" and I get really tired of not fitting into cars or airplanes and constantly hitting my head on stuff.
posted by octothorpe 13 August | 07:36
I wish I were about 2" taller, all in the legs, and had diamond shaped calves.
posted by chewatadistance 13 August | 08:11
I'd like to be shorter next time around, to see how the other half-people live.
posted by fleacircus 13 August | 09:17
I'd love to be taller, have smaller feet, a toned stomach, and more delicate legs.
posted by sperose 13 August | 10:06
Hm. On second thought I sounded a bit snotty. That's because I somehow developed an internal taboo on complaining. I have lots of things I don't like about my body when I think about it. But almost all of them I can't change so I don't think about it. Life's too short for counterfactual dreaming.
posted by jouke 13 August | 10:12
I have a horrible time with how I look, losing weight does terrible things to an aging body. But when you get right down to it, I'm far too lazy to hate myself for it. There are things that bother me but not to the point where I'd do anything about it besides cover it up. Besides, I don't think there is much of anything to be done.
There have been brief times in my life where I was satisfied with my body and I'm glad I had those, but even at my heaviest, I never thought about having someone else's body. It would be nice to be taller, it would be wonderful to be less flabby, but mostly I'm grateful to be mostly free of pain and more chronic embarrassment.
I wonder what it would be like to feel attractive most of the time. I doubt anyone feels attractive all of the time. I imagine most people don't think about it much at all unless they feel actively unattractive.
posted by ethylene 13 August | 10:57
Now I want to know who feels attractive most of the time and what that's like.
posted by ethylene 13 August | 11:02
Counterfactual Dreaming would be a great name for a band.
posted by JanetLand 14 August | 15:22
(A weaker man would wish to not be bald. I don't mind it. I have a nice skull, I think.)
Well, I'm that weaker man. I wish I could take all the hair that grows on pretty much every other body part and re-locate it to my head. It's like every hair that has fallen out of my head has taken root somewhere else.

I guess I'm also lucky that I have a reasonable-shaped head, so I can just buzz it off at a #1 instead of feeling like I have to try and make it look like I have more hair than I do. I'm also lucky that I don't have to worry about gaining weight and stay pretty much the same all the time and that, despite 50 years of neglect and abuse, my body pretty much stays strong and healthy so I don't have to think about it much at all. I guess lots of people are not so lucky, so I shouldn't complain about a little hair loss re-location.
posted by dg 14 August | 18:08
Time for another Friday Night Question, || Babby Beaver! OMG!

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