MetaChat - [Gerund] like a [Noun] -- Your favorite colorful comparison

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07 August 2011

[Gerund] like a [Noun] -- Your favorite colorful comparison →[More:] Mine is "He was farting like a racehorse."

Go.

post by: danf at: 16:59 | 24 comments

She was sweating like a whore in church.

posted by msali 07 August | 17:13

"Dumb as a box of wet hair."

posted by MonkeyButter 07 August | 17:15

Ugly as a mud fence.

posted by Miko 07 August | 17:16

My roommate in college told me I sleep like a banshee.

posted by Stewriffic 07 August | 17:45

"Sharp as a sack of wet mice."

posted by Kronos_to_Earth 07 August | 18:31

About as useful as a nun's nipple.

posted by plinth 07 August | 18:57

Busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

posted by Obscure Reference 07 August | 19:22

I love these. . .there was this old guy at work, self-discribed as Black Irish, and, while talking about the hardness of a certain bolt, said it was "hahder than my dickie on a payday night!"

posted by danf 07 August | 19:55

I had a guy at work like that too, danf. He had one of these for everything. Like (what I can remember at the moment)

"Tighter than a bull's ass in fly season"

And along the lines of plinth:

"Useless as tits on a boar."

I wish I could remember more.

posted by eekacat 07 August | 21:31

Heh, danf, the dickie reminds me of the "dickie do" as in:

Him: Man, he's got a dickie do.

Me: Huh?

Him: His belly sticks out farther than his dickie do.

posted by eekacat 07 August | 21:33

"dickie do" -- hahahaha. I hadn't heard that in forever.

posted by Miko 07 August | 21:33

Busy as a one-armed paperhanger
Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick
Useful as tits on a bull
Useful as a hip pocket in a singlet
Dumb as a box of rocks/dumb as dirt

posted by dg 07 August | 21:36

... and nobody's mentioned 'hung like a horse' yet? You people are slipping ;-)

Or 'got a dick on him like a baby's arm holding an apple'?

posted by dg 07 August | 21:46

i heard chris matthews say "network like a bandit" some months ago. like i wrote then, it's like he turned a simile into a mixed metaphor

posted by Firas 07 August | 23:32

Sharp as a bag of hammers.

posted by Splunge 08 August | 05:56

Frankly,the sheer grossness of a lot of these examples outweighs the humor. Remind me not to hang out with you guys.

Although I did like being able to say "It's better than a sharp stick in the eye" when my ex asked how I liked how he was in bed.

posted by serena 08 August | 07:00

It's better than a slap in the face with a wet fish.

is what my mother used to say :)

posted by gaspode 08 August | 07:05

Flying, like a G6.

(am doin it rite?)

posted by Eideteker 08 August | 08:07

How about this, dg: hung like a gnat
Useless as tits on a boar hog
I need to pee like a racehorse
Colder'n a witch's tit in a Walla Walla windstorm
Dumb as a box of rocks

posted by deborah 08 August | 08:39

As sharp as a bowling ball. (I heard that one in a Foghorn Leghorn cartoon.)

posted by BoringPostcards 08 August | 08:57

They were understanding gerunds like a herd of bunnies.

posted by Wolfdog 08 August | 14:29

That sounds dirty.

posted by Ardiril 08 August | 14:37

Yeah, it sort of spread out of gerund-land but still fun.

posted by danf 08 August | 14:41

I once read an article in which the author said of John McEnroe: "He was as charming as usual, which is to say as charming as a dead mouse in a loaf of bread."

posted by Specklet 08 August | 18:42

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