The missed connections in Fort Wayne are pathetic. I wonder who reads them.

As far as directions, I'm thinking either what I would ideally like to find in a missed connection or something so ridiculous it is absurd. Absurdity kind of wins out. It could be a regular thing in between all the guys looking for that hot pregnant chick and the other 'did we have a moment?' people. Maybe a nice prose style with some length.
Or I could advertise as a non professional detective.