Say that you had a nice time, but you don't see things going anywhere further romantically. I'm sure he'd appreciate the honesty.

I am sorry that the second date was a letdown, Senyar.
I hope you keep going on more good first dates and that they lead to good second dates.
TrishaLynn is right.
Here's a sample email:

Hi X,
I had a good time with you this weekend doing xyz, but to be honest I don't see this going much further. It was great meeting you and I wish you luck in your search,
Thanks,
Senyar

Thanks, ladies. Email sent.

I just got his reply. He said he's a bit sad he won't get to know me better.

Aww.
I'm still friends with a date I had. It's an interesting way to meet people.

He might have been too defensive to let you in. Maybe, now, he changed his mind. Probably, though, it won't make a difference.

I always look for some spark of interest in the first couple meetings with someone. Otherwise, I feel I am just spinning my wheels.

He's emailed me about meeting again next weekend, but I don't think there's any point - there's no spark or chemistry, he did nothing to show he was interested in me, his body language is completely closed and he's too passive for me.

But he was interested in you - he emailed you to ask for a third date!

Darn, I wish I'd gotten here earlier. I am a big proponent of giving people a few more chances. In our world, we're so freaking impatient with making a decision that could really have a long-run impact. Everybody has off days and awkward moments - between hormones fluctuating, what's going on in life, just plain tiredness, fears kicking in, a lot of things can make you feel and act funny now and then.

Think about all the couples you know who worked side by side for years with no spark, until one day. Or friends that never looked at each other in that way, until a gradual attraction grew. You don't always know right away, and a good person is worth discovering over time, even if they're a little reserved. HE might have been panicking inside and at a loss as to how best to connect with you.

There's probably no harm done, but in general, I think it's worth giving things a little time, especially when out of 2 meetings you had one really good one.

On the other hand, this general advice is fighting with the advice of 'listen to your intuition...' if you were just nonplussed and not 100% sure, and had a lame date, that's one thing. IF you really felt you diagnosed a fundamental incompatibility, that's another. It's OK, basically. I just wanted to speak up and say 'hey, how about one more try.' Plus, you can date people concurrently quite easily in the 'get to know you' stage, so it's not all or nothing. You could be giving one guy a chance while starting to acquaint yourself with another. Anyway, good continued luck! That's really not a bad experience overall. At least it was your decision!

Miko, we'd used up all the conversation on date 1. Apart from a hug at the end of each date (initiated by me, and he just stood there), there was no physical contact at all, no hand-on-arm, or anything else that might lead me to believe he had some romantic interest in me.

I'm a fairly dynamic person, and so I'm not really compatible with passive people who leave me to make all the decisions.

I think that's totally fair, Senyar!

I agree with writing him off -- there's having a bad day, there's being nervous, sure, but it sounds more like this guy wasn't even *trying*.

WEll, ya gotta go with your intution then.

I think you did the right thing because based on what you said about the lack of physical contact and the fact that the second date (where he already knows you and you had a lot of great conversation during the first date) was so bland, it really doesn't sound like he was that interested in you.

Sorry to hear... but only you know what feels right and what doesn't.

There was no creep factor? Usually when I've blown someone off that quickly (back in the stone age when I dated) the guy was a little creepy somehow, made me feel uncomfortable. In any case, that's why they call it dating, right? A chance to meet different people, try things out.